Wanting to die

[Theron]

Has anyone live with TTM. Always had Bad luck all ur life. Told ur ugly useless. And ur owe family tell you to go away they are busy!
all you have is ur owe beep dark depressing thoughts, and laughing when u talk about suicide.
That where I am!

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

When depressed, we see the worst side of people, even family. Then if we scream loud enough we might get some attempt at understanding but you'll feel it is fake because you screamed for it.

The fact is that other humans unless they have experienced a mental struggle, they cant understand even if they tried. It is only the most empathetic caring people that can reach out and show us some care. That's why a site like this one serves so many uses. Not only that but it is open every minute of every day of every year, you might have to wait for a reply on some days but when you are down just log on and talk.

Do you know what it is like to be an astronaut? If an astronaut tried to explain how it felt and his/her challenges, we'd find it hard to understand. I remember when I had to use a wheelchair for 8 weeks. I never realised how hard it was. The sad part about that though is that other people will show some support for those that have a physical injury for one reason- they can see it!! They cant see a depressed mind.

So, if you can get the opportunity to see a doctor and discuss everything that would be a good idea.

Welcome again. If you are bored just put a topic in the search bar at the top and start reading because knowledge is a good thing to have.

TonyWK

[Croix]

Dear Theron~

I'd like to join TonyWK in welcoming you here. In this place you will not be belittled by others and talk of suicide is taken seriously.

I have been suicidal caused by anxiety and depression, I also twisted and tugged my hair when stressed, but not to the stage where it comes out.

So I can see what you are going though.

I guess the first thing to ask if if you have anyone to help you?

After far too long I saw a doctor, was diagnosed and put on therapy. It made a fair bit of difference and now I'm good.

Do you have a doctor helping you? If not can you go see one and explain how you feel? It can be a start.

Your family does not sound very nice, is there anyone, a family member or a friend who you can talk to who treats you seriously? They do not have to fix things, just listen and care.

When you have your dark depressing thoughts it does help to talk with a friendly human who is sensible and caring.

It's no good trying with those that put you off or are "to busy", that just makes you feel worse

In those times I'd suggest you try giving the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) a ring, Open 24/7. They are pretty good so you might have to wait a little time, but it can be worth it.

My hair pulling got an awful lot less as it was caused by my anxiety condition and as that got better I more or less stopped twisting and pulling.

My thoughts of suicide were there becuse I had depression, and as that was lifted they eased too.

While I'm not saying you are the same as me and have the same problems I do think medical support might help you as much as it did me

So what do you think?

Croix

[Positive_vibes89]

Dear Theron,

I understand that it does not help with your confidence or self esteem when your own family put you down. I also have had awful things said to me from my family too. Its so hurtful. We look to our family for love and support. I still carry some of those past memories into my adult life. I deal with them by proving them wrong. Im sure you have some really good qualities as a person. Get a piece of paper and write 5 positive things that you like about yourself.

Is there a good friend or somebody that you trust that you can talk to? Sometimes family members may not understand what you are going though. How about calling beyond blue or even lifeline to talk a counsellor?

With your hair pulling have you seen a doctor? They can refer you to a psychologist thay can help with determining your triggers for hair pulling and help you with ways to cope with other stresses you are experiencing.

When it comes to suicide, it's a serious thing. Those who laugh may not understand your thoughts and feelings that have led you to talk about suicide. People laugh when they dont know what to say or do. If you are having suicidal thoughts or intentions please call 000. Your mental health, safety and well-being is very important. There are people thay will care for you and help you get the supports you need.

I hope you are okay, please be safe and take care of yourself.