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Victim of covert narcissist

Community Member

i have been unwell. It was supposed to just a cold but i've been very ill. It was during that illness that i had a mind of revealation, the bubbie burst so to speak. My wife partner (de facto) of 40 years said something personal and cruel to me while i was sick. I was so shocked i broke free of the bubble i'd been living in for 40 years. How could anyone say something like that to someone so ill. But she is a EN enrolled nurse so it made it all the more hard to understand. but it's nothing new.


i had a duodenal ulcer rupture many years back when i was about 40. we'd been to the beach. I thought i hurt my back. I laid on the floor, but as always she implied i was exaggerating. I never understood that. I was in a lot of pain. I was laying on the living room floor. She turned the tv and sat back to watch it, ignoring me. I realised how ill i was and asked for an ambulance .

when i got out of hospital a week or two later i came home. She told me she was moving out today. We had a little girl together. They moved out and left me on my own. You can imagine how weak i was. It took a long time to recover. I lived off canned soup.

there were also many times she went out and didn't come home. She felt she didn't have to explain. She gaslights me, I blamed myself. I was drawn into this hook line and sinker. I'd never heard the the term covert narcissist

you have the picture now i'm sure. There's so much more as you could imagine. she turned all my friends against me over the years. i had no one. I was lost inside myself too. I believed i was worthless. i was to blame for her behaviour because i was worthless.

im still not over the so called cold, rhinovirus. ive been back and forth to doctors and the hospital for a cracked rib. I'm so depleted. I haven't left my room for 5 weeks except to get something to eat. She's just sitting in the lounge watching tv.

i am thinking i have the right to end my life at 70. Or i could move out on my own and rent a house somewhere. I feel terrible loneliness and sadness. Ive just never been good at living just for me. Renting a house on my own , living my remaining years on my own has always been my worst fear.

i just came here to see what others might contribute, suggest, what other options are there. I can't afford a psychologist. I need a break from this horrid setting, but the only place i can think of is the nutters wars of the hospital.

1 Reply 1


Hey whatswrongwithdadmum,

Welcome to our online community, we are so grateful that you reached out to us here tonight. We're so sorry to hear that you're feeling so low due to what's happening in your family. Please know that you are valuable. It sounds as though you are needing some support and we want you to know that there is help available to you. We are sending you through a private message with some extra support.

We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships. In addition to this, there are always counsellors available via phone for your most difficult moments. Some of these 24/7 services include Lifeline - 13 11 14 / https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat (online chat available 7pm-12am) and the Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467.

And if you find yourself in a situation where you become an immediate danger to yourself, this is an emergency and you should call 000 (triple zero).

Many in our community have also been through a lot in their lives and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best support you through this.