Time to go

[Rod32]

I've read a lot of the posts, now I know I'm a pathetic looser. Loneliness after wife left, all friends were joint and now I have no contact from them. I have a 20yo son who is my world, my daughter 18 loves me however she is very much like her mother. Lost my two children from my previous marriage, son murdered 2016 and daughter died 2013 wife left 2019. I have tried to cope for my children's sake but now they are older an in relationship I'm not really needed now.  Rambling a bit now sorry, really had mostly a good life but the hurt and pain to much now, hard type through tears.

[Not_Limited]

Hi Rod32

Sorry to hear your daughter has moved out. Whether to her mother's or moving out anywhere else, our kids are our world and the feeling of rejection and loss when they move out is very normal. Can I suggest sitting down calmly with her as an adult to adult and asking her why she has moved and is there anything in your relationship with each other she would like to discuss with you? The no blame game and gentle prodding gives you both a chance to talk about anything going on, how it makes both of you feel and how you can both move on into the future. I obviously don't know everything about you and your families history together, however, sometimes when we are really down, it is really easy to overthink things and take it all upon ourselves that it must be our fault. That's why it is so important to hear from her the reasons why, so it doesn't eat at you. She may be struggling with things herself as well. Children pick up on when we are feeling really depressed or struggling in other ways and sometimes take on how the parent is feeling. She may just want to spend some more time with her mum. We never know until we ask.

Same with your son. There is no use worrying about if he feels/wants to do the same. Talking to our kids and taking out our own emotions just to hear how they are going and any problems they may be having will open the communication lines so you can both have an open and honest discussion and together move forward.

Sometimes we put ourselves on that plank because it is much easier to do that and blame ourselves for other peoples actions. It's our own actions to their decisions that sometimes let us down and be resolved or at least understood just by talking in a way both parties feel free to talk about how they feel.

[Rod32]

Spoke to my son and he said he would never leave as this is his home,ny daughter came and picked up some of her things but wouldn't engage.

Just received email from wife requesting a divorce settlement, can't afford legal representation and need to protect him any way I can.

I made a new will yesterday leaving anything I have to him and trusting him to look after his sister, there was no other way to do this as my wife and daughter could band together to sell our home.

My head is frigging spinning out of control now, it very hard to keep a thought process going.

How do you get over this, all I want to do is sleep as much as I can to make the days pass, I don't like alcohol, tried but it's awful so I can't numb myself.

I appreciate all the replies thank you guys so much but I'm just so lonely, day after day after day.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Rod32,

Thanks for reaching out tonight,

We can hear that you're in a very stressful and turbulent time of your life. Many stressful events are happening at once and we understand why this would lease you to feel so hopeless and lost. Please know that life can and will get better. We're sending a private email to you to check in with your well-being.

Please remember if you find yourself in a situation where you become an immediate danger to yourself, this is an emergency and you should call 000 (triple zero).
 

[Rod32]

I received your email guys and I thank you for that, I wasn't going to touch my wife's super or spousal support as I am retired and wife clears$1600 pw.

Don't want to do it but if this is necessary to protect my child I guess it leaves me no choice.