Tell us your thoughts - What's kept or keeping you here?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi everyone,

This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important.

I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often we can find lots of reasons why we don't want to be here, and very few reasons that we do. So I'm making this post to bring everyone together to either find reasons to stay or show me why you've stayed. I don't care whether they are small or big reasons. They are reasons.

Please feel free to post below because I want to hear yours, and I want this to be a thread where people who come here can grab onto a reason too.

The reasons why I chose to stay -

- My dogs.

- Planning to die was very complicated.

- I wanted to hold on just in case things got a little bit better.

and now, I'm glad that I stayed. Please know that while suicide will end the pain, it will end your life too - so you'll say goodbye to any opportunities that things might get better. Opportunities for laughter, joy and beautiful memories. Sometimes it's about staying with the pain and finding other ways to let go of it without saying goodbye to our life.

[Guest_8790]

why am I still here?

I am not sure. Thought might get answers for the way I am but guess only I have to do this myself. Since completing cert iv in mental health I have learnt so much and need to apply to myself. I had hoped to be on placement now like others in my class but they decided I am not ready. guess they right but am disappointed in myself. now not sure what to do until next year. I will try and find online support in my own state which makes more sense as don't feel I can join in forums here and some are so depressing I have to leave.


rusty girl

[Guest_8790]

what's the reason to stay I don't know.. Decided to go it alone and help myself to get over depression agoraphobia and a form ocd. don't believe I ha e it so will sort it out alone. o my I can change. talking doesn't help.
recovery is possible. sick taking medication so will quit

rusty

[Ggrand]

Hello Rusty girl,

Im sorry your struggling so much with your mh...I did read on another thread that you weren’t sure if you would be able to finish you course or not..I’m really pleased to hear that you have..Congratulations for achieving that...

Please don’t be disappointed in you..you are struggling with your mh..Which is an illness, unseen from the outside but very real...

Maybe look at the rest of the year to concerntrate on you, try any and everything you can to find your way back to wellness....

It takes a very special type of person to select a career in helping others...you are one of those people...A person that others will be looking too for help with their mh...A very valued person as you are now...Please don’t give up on trying all you can to help you....You are a very important person and once you get on top of your own mh...just think now about how many people you will be able to help...That’s gold dear Rusty....

Hold on to us dear Rusty...We are all here to try to support and help you....

Sending you my love and lots of caring warm hugs..

Grandy

[Guest_8790]

why am I still here?

Thank you brandy for no d words.I am not sure what I will do now tafe over. I was glad had monthly meet up with friend as I would have stayed in bed and slept all day as this is all I do now days. I got good feedback k on last written assessment in trauma but though it made me happy for all of 5 seconds I don't think it really helped. it's ok friend cheered me up at movies and not do what I was thinking of
live to tell another day

rusty

[Guest_8790]

why am I here?

because of pets and one good friend who I met through grow. not sure if I will ever get rid of stupid thoughts and actions I do. was told I have hypervigilance which makes me avoid people I hate anyone walking behind me.

anyhow I will get by

rusty

[Davinci]

Hi I’m Davinci (Suicide Survivor)

I was brought back from Flatline

So why am I here?

A man of 35 years wakes up one day acutely aware of a vague anxiety, a feeling of uneasiness, perhaps melancholy. He attributes the mood to problems at work and to a broken relationship. Weeks, even months, pass, but the subversive and unsettling "feeling" remains. There are slight irregularities in his sleeping patterns and in his diet. He is less keen on participating in various activities he once enjoyed. He is more withdrawn, more subdued. He looks out at the world and finds many things to detest: social injustice, the trivialization of modern culture, the apathy of fellow citizens, the slow pace at which society seems to reform itself. He wishes people cared more about issues and ideas, and less about how they look and how much money they have. He wonders, occasionally, if he isn't a crank, a weirdo, a malcontent. He reminds (and thus reassures) himself that he has a job, a friend or two, and a family.
Another six or seven months pass, and this destabilizing feeling metamorphoses into profound despair. He sees nothing in life which is fulfilling or even mildly satisfying. His relationships, for the most part, are insubstantial and transient. He's nearly convinced that life has no real "meaning"; he even contemplates suicide.
Should this man be drugged up on medication? Should he spend years on a therapist's couch trying to figure out what's wrong? Should he expect mitigation to come from the wisdom of self-help gurus or from the counsel of pastors and priests?
Professionals would insist upon acknowledging the "problem" and getting it diagnosed. Questions about family propensity for depression or bipolar disorder, about changes in environment and in relationships would of course be of some avail to psychiatrists and psychologists.
There is no reason to dismiss pharmaceutical solutions out of hand. Medicines of all kinds pass intense scrutiny and have to meet various guidelines before ever making it to market. They're examined in peer review journals, tested in double-blind studies, and monitored ever carefully after their debut. The verdict on drugs  has long since been out, and many report dramatic improvement in lifestyle.The life of a man who has tried to self-harm could very well be saved by lithium or MAO inhibitors. This fact seems to render all discussion but it’s more than meds it’s a fight to be loved...x

[Doolhof]

Hi Rusty,

I'm very concerned for you. Are you still in hospital or have they released you?

If you are in hospital, can you talk to the staff, any staff, even if it is the cleaner! Let them know you need help.

While in hospital I have also used the phone help lines and they in turn have called the hospital staff to let them know I am not doing okay.

Rusty, it sounds like you are exhausted and at the end of your endurance for now. It might not seem like it, but there is hope.

Our depressed and distraught minds tell us there are no answers left. There is help. It might not come in the way we want or desire, always, but it is there.

Please, speak to people, yell out at them if you have to, be heard, and I so hope you get the help you need.

Best wishes for being able to turn this around to the positive, from Dools

[Guest_8790]

in reply to dools

I left hospital without treatment . it's ok won't let anyone know again. trust in all people gone.

rusty

[Doolhof]

Hi Rusty,

I'm really sorry this has happened to you.

Do you have your own thread here or would you like to start one up? People here care about how you are feeling.

Dools

[Guest_8790]

in reply to fools

I released myself without waiting for assessment. I can post here. not sure what I will do now. feeling sleepy so will go home and rest. got doctors appointment on Friday. nothing else to do now.

rusty