Tell us your thoughts - What's kept or keeping you here?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi everyone,

This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important.

I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often we can find lots of reasons why we don't want to be here, and very few reasons that we do. So I'm making this post to bring everyone together to either find reasons to stay or show me why you've stayed. I don't care whether they are small or big reasons. They are reasons.

Please feel free to post below because I want to hear yours, and I want this to be a thread where people who come here can grab onto a reason too.

The reasons why I chose to stay -

- My dogs.

- Planning to die was very complicated.

- I wanted to hold on just in case things got a little bit better.

and now, I'm glad that I stayed. Please know that while suicide will end the pain, it will end your life too - so you'll say goodbye to any opportunities that things might get better. Opportunities for laughter, joy and beautiful memories. Sometimes it's about staying with the pain and finding other ways to let go of it without saying goodbye to our life.

[Dan-the-Downer]

What keep me going?

Fear of failure.

Failing my in my duties to my commanding officer.

Failing to mentor and develop my troops.

Failing to provide for my family.

Failing to honour the legacy of my grandfather.

What triggers me: Crowed Spaces, Driving on public roads, taking on too many responsibilities (work, home, etc) which I do all the time.

I've always been the reliable, responsible one you put onto a task to get it done. Now I feel like I have crumbled away and am not effective in any aspect of what I am required to do. I no longer feel any connection to anyone or anything. I don't feel happiness or job, only frustration, anger and pain.

[Overwhelmed_and_confsed]

The only reason im here:

1: Because i feel like my family would blame themselves for not doing anything or not knowing.

2: Because personally i think the only reason we are alive is to prepare ourselves for the next stage of life, in school you prepare for work, in work you prepare for retirement. Then with your social life you have prepare to find a suitable soulmate to then have kids with if you both wish to, then you have kids and prepare them for life to continue the cycle. I just feel like theres no point, so the second reason is i dont want to affect anyone elses future who is around me that hasn't realised this yet.

Thats my reason, but everyones different

[murphy_sam]

my mum and dad and i don't like pain

[DanTheMan001]

Rlly everyone would be happy that I am dead except my extended family and the fact that it would be painful. Also the fact I can't play video games. Instead of killing myself I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. I am only 13 and I think this way: This world is way too messed up to fix, and it's just getting worse.

[Carkly]

The pain every single day sinks a deep black hole in my heart, crying just isn’t enough. At the moment my kids keep me here, I don’t want to break my sons. They are happy and I hide my pain well. But one day I know it won’t be enough, each time I cry myself to sleep I get a little closer, I give up a little more.

[Chloe_M]

Hi Carkly,

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for reaching out to us. We are all here to help you through whatever you are dealing with.

My advice to you is this: create your own thread. Then, we can directly communicate with you and provide help and support and advice. A new thread will also be more noticeable than a general one like this, as this thread's post count is high and not displaying the fact that you are new and in need of help.

If you decide to do this, let me and the others know here what it is called.

Be kind to yourself and have a good day. You will get through this. We are here to help 🙂

x Chloe

[luckytries]

The only thing keeping me going is the hope that one day I might live the life I’ve always wanted, even though it’s hard to imagine sometimes.

[S_rodas]

My whole life I have felt stupid, recently found out I have autism, my parents new this but didn’t tell me, although I’m on medication it doesn’t do shit. I hate myself because I feel dumb and useless and I have no friends, I’m so lonely to the point that if I die I wonder how long it would take somone to notice

[Ggrand]

Hello S_rodas,

Welcome to B.B. forums..

So good you've been able to find your way to the BeyondBlue (BB) forums. You'll find the people who respond are friendly, caring, supportive and respect privacy.....We are just people who have mental health issues like yourself and are willing to share our insight from our own experiences..

Im really sorry that your struggling so hard...and you feel so alone... You sound really frustrated and very down... it okay to post here at times, but I think if you could start your own thread...You would then get the support you are so deserving of. If you go back to home page and press onto all posts, then welcome and orientation you can start a thread from their by pressing new thread..just give your new thread a name, then maybe you can copy and paste your post here onto your new thread or write out a new post..

I will keep a look out for your new thread if you decide to start one...

Please take care of yourself and stay safe...and I really hope you do start up your own thread.. so other can come in and talk and support you....good luck and I’ll keep an eye out for you...

Kind thoughts .

Grandy...

[Yva]

Always felt dumb and stupid, good for nothing and nothing I can do here.

I stay and fight to keep moving for my son. I hate thinking about what would happen to him without me here.

I worry for us both, everyday.

I also know that I have family, that will feel the loss

Im trying to make positive changes, but again worry if I can’t make them happen.