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Tell us your thoughts - What's kept or keeping you here?

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi everyone,

This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important.

I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often we can find lots of reasons why we don't want to be here, and very few reasons that we do. So I'm making this post to bring everyone together to either find reasons to stay or show me why you've stayed. I don't care whether they are small or big reasons. They are reasons.

Please feel free to post below because I want to hear yours, and I want this to be a thread where people who come here can grab onto a reason too.

The reasons why I chose to stay -

- My dogs.

- Planning to die was very complicated.

- I wanted to hold on just in case things got a little bit better.

and now, I'm glad that I stayed. Please know that while suicide will end the pain, it will end your life too - so you'll say goodbye to any opportunities that things might get better. Opportunities for laughter, joy and beautiful memories. Sometimes it's about staying with the pain and finding other ways to let go of it without saying goodbye to our life.

707 Replies 707

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi romantic_thi3f,

I don’t know how to answer your question. I don’t know my reason and I’m not sure I have one...

But I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to “bookmark” this thread to read other people’s reasons.

Great thread idea 🙂

Pepper xo

What keeps me here...

Remembering that it is not my job to keep others happy and that the pressure I put on myself to do so is impossible to live up to.

Reminding myself that no matter how much of an useless failure I feel it's not true. There are people who love and need me regardless of my many flaws.

Self preservation. When I feel overwhelmed and suicide is an enormous temptation I remind myself it is my choice and noone elses. And that means I can choose to have a cup of tea and a sleep and reassess how I feel in the morning.

Regret. I know no matter how low I feel sometimes there are things I want to see and do one day. I remind myself that beyond how I feel in this moment there are future moments I want to experience.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

What also keeps me here is my best friend, may have noticed him mentioned here a lot, he is my number one supporter through all of this and he said "if you can't live for yourself, live for me. because you may not feel like you are needed, but I need you."

Community Champion
Community Champion

Something to add to my previous post... It sucks that I had to work out distraction and coping tools by visiting a psych.

Someone at Uni today asked me how I was. I said that "not real good". We went to a table outside the building and had a discussion about MI. It turns out that in his past life (years ago) also had MI problems. In this discussion I mentioned some of the distraction and coping tools that I use. And some of these tools, like deep breathing exercises are free, and engaging mindfulness ideas with lollies is cheap. Its good to be able to share these the tools with others. It won't "cure" another person,but I have tools that I can share with other people.

I love the idea of your friend taking you outside to talk Wolfy. Isn't that a beautiful thing!

Your reason to stick around is equally as valid and lovely. I've seen a few of your posts around even while struggling with suicidal thoughts and you're right... I think your replies are a gift.

My reason is similar today (it's been a horrible one so the thoughts are eating at me).

When I feel low. Smashed down and pulled apart. And wanting it all to end so I can sleep and not have to wake up.... I can share those feelings.

And maybe someone reading will see themselves in my words too. And feel shocked to see I'm an utter mess but not ashamed of it or trying to pretend it is all ok.

Why should we have to pretend. Pretending just keeps the stigma around mental illness alive and kicking.

So I will get through today. And I'll get through tomorrow. And keep getting up and trying because this crap will pass eventually. And I'll keep trying and writing so that if one person reading sees themselves and decides to wait until morning and go see the doctor again then that is worth living for.

Sorry if this is a dumb question but how do you check yourself into hospital?

Am thinking this might be the way to go for me.

Community Member

Dear all,

Thankyou for starting this post. I always knew that there are more like me but I never had the guts to talk about it to anyone. I am in a constant state of self hurt. I agree it's not as bad as suicide,but I had my reasons.

- my parents . I don't want them to be sad because of me. I have already caused a lot of sadness for them

- I have a student loan to pay off. I don't want to leave without doing this. It will eventually fall on my parents.

I am smart enough to know what will kill me so I make sure I only keep the pain constant. It's like a punishment to myself. I don't want to do it anymore but I can't get out of the cycle. As you all suggested, I have reasons to stay on this side of life but I want to stop this.


I feel so overwhelmed at how big this post has gotten and how many people have come here and shared your reasons for living. It means so much to me that you're reading it, posting it and most importantly, still here.

I wish that I had more words but I don't think there are any so I'm sending hugs over the internet if you want them. Keep finding these reasons because you are worth it


LizaMac - sometimes people just walk into the emergency department, but given that this is not always received well (sadly) it's best if you can chat to your GP or psychologist (if you are seeing one). That way they personally can chat with you and arrange for a much smoother transition. There is also another post here which you might want to read and add to - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/voluntarily-commiting-yourself-to-be-an-inpatient-in-hospital

Thank you for taking care of yourself 🙂

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Needshope,

I started writing a post but my computer died and I don't remember all that I wrote...

I relate to what you are dealing with. I am stuck in this cycle of self-loathing and self-harm. I want to get out but I can't. I wrote in another post on my thread:

"Ya know this is a bit random, but sometimes when I'm doing my German lessons I think 'this is so hard I want to give up I can't do it anymore'. I feel the same way about depression, but there's a catch- I don't get to say whether I want to do this anymore or not (bar suicide). I can't just opt out and say 'hey I've had enough of being depressed, just going to go back to my normal life'. I wish I could, that would solve all my problems, just giving up being depressed, but life doesnt work like that, and in a perfect world no one would have MH issues and we'd all be happy."

I agree, its not as bad as suicide, but its close. I am a suicide attempt survivor and it was a very traumatic experience, yet i still self-harm because it gives me a release.

Just letting you know that we are always here if you want to talk x. also remember that as well as those reasons for 'staying here' you have all the people in your life who love you to think about. You are important! You are a beautiful person. And you're worth it.


Community Member
I felt your pain last year it is not easy to move on but thanks to my pets and people who love me I decided to hold on, my pain is slowly going away