Hi Chris
Wow! Your brother would, understandably, be a major trigger in your life. Have you asked your mum why she'd consider choosing your brother over you when it comes to him staying? May not be the case but what comes to mind is the term 'problem child'. As a mum, I can relate to this to some degree. I have 2 kids and one is what I would once have described as 'the problem child', who had more problems than the other. While it's easier to vibe with the child that has no obvious problems, I came to realise it's not my job as a mum to neglect/dismiss the child who has the most problems. My role is as a guide and support for them as they work through those problems. It breaks my heart when I hear of parents who have adopted the mantra 'I raised my kid up to a point, now that they're and adult they're on their own'. What the hell?! Btw, when I was younger I was a problem child. It gets lonely, seriously confusing and deeply depressing to be left alone to sort your problems/challenges out. This doesn't change just because we get older.
Have you ever considered asking your mum if she classes herself as an effective guide in your life? Could you lead her to see things from the perspective as a guide? I pick your mum based on your father sounding a little too closed minded to be able to perhaps consider this angle. Not trying to induce loads of guilt in your mum, just wondering if you can raise her consciousness a little, when suggesting you perhaps ask her 'Mum, how many times have you said in my life, in one way or another (through words or actions), 'You're on your own' when I actually needed you the most?'. Would you consider challenging her in this way? Perhaps your brother's coming arrival could be pushing you to ask the hard questions of her. Could this be the moment where she rises to greater consciousness, where you wake her up to things? Could this go on to create a deeper connection that comes to serve you both?
So sorry to hear about Terry. Has the vet been able to pinpoint the reason for the seizures? If not, could it be stress Terry's reacting to? Could the stress factor be creating 'glitches' in his brain? Have you ever considered researching the benefits of pet therapy? Apparently such therapy serves the person and the pet, creating a sense of calm for both participants. The effects of such therapy on the brain, heart, nervous system etc are actually quite fascinating.
I feel for you so much as you face so many challenges at the same time.
