So lost about 3 months now

[Guest_4593]

Felling so..... I don't even know,
had a bad 12 months , the last 3 i have had panic attacks i self-harm i get completely drunk every night i feel worse everyday now things that I thought were the only things keeping me going, the things that got me up every morning, i am finding them annoying and hard to deal with and just cant be bothered with anything anymore even the things I thought throughout the last few months despite my mood would never change but they have, what do I have left.
Don't wanna hear anymore ur not urself go to a gp we all have problems

[Guest_4593]

My apologies for the comment 2 hours ago, i did try to call lifeline and i was just not able to speak to a ( voice on the phone ) really makes me doubt that i will make that gp appointment for help . Thanks for just allowing me the opportunity to just speak i appreciate that , unfortunately sometimes help is not for everyone

[Sophie_M]

Hi Nic1233,

We think you are so strong for calling Lifeline, even if you weren't able to speak. We understand that you are feeling overwhelmed at this time and reaching out is very difficult. Please know that with the right treatment and support, things can always improve. We can hear that you're in a dark place. 

We would strongly recommend that you get in touch with Kids Helpline. It might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling this way. We know you found it difficult to speak to Lifeline, so maybe it would help to webchat on the internet, this way you only have to type. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 by young people 25 and under - https://kidshelpline.com.au/ 
  Headspace is another organisation we would recommend, they are specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including counselling and group programs. They also have a group chat on their webpage - https://headspace.org.au/

Many of our members have experienced panic attacks and will understand and may be able to help. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help support you. 
 

[Just Sara]

Hi again Nic;

When my life hit the skids I lived alone so I only had myself to assess how bad things were and what to do. Not a great place to be when you're bloody clueless.

I ended up suffering psychosis due to sleep deprivation. Our brains need quality rest to function properly otherwise we end up not thinking straight, making bad choices and increasing symptoms, which seems to be the case with you. I'm concerned for your well-being my friend.

If you had a broken leg would you get help? Of course. Your brain is your most vital organ. What you described re the trigger experience is an important clue; your brain is telling you it's sick. Please don't do what I did and ignore the opportunity to ask for help.

Inside of you is a wounded and very scared child still experiencing the past as if it were happening in the present as your brain isn't differentiating between then and now. Not sleeping, drinking and hiding in your room while you go through a panic attack are directly contributing to the problem. I plead with you to ask for help from your GP Nic.

All you need to say to your Dr is; "I need help". They'll take it from there I can assure you. He/she will ask questions and it's fine to answer in short sentences or just yes/no responses. They've seen it all before and have helped many people get their lives back through mental health treatment plans, especially with something to help sleep. This in itself provides a huge support for daily life by lowering symptoms.

Writing on this forum is really great to vent and find peers who understand, but it's not therapy or medication to treat an unwell brain. That takes expertise from the medical community.

I don't know of anyone who wouldn't go back in time and change the way they responded to a mental breakdown, me included. Please bite the bullet and seek help Nic so you have no regrets. You're worth it!

Kind thoughts;

Sez

[smallwolf]

Hi. I hope you might come back to chat some more. When things went bad for me the first person I spoke to was my mother. I would retell the story to my GP and after that my psychologist. I wont repeat the words here but as "Just Sarah" said, you don't have to say much. You are worth so much. It was only after I spoke to some other people about what happened to me that others would also retell some of what they had gone through. I can see from your post is very difficult for you to open up. I am unsure of what might be stopping you from talking and depending who you choose to tell or not to tell, there is no shame or judgement. And that you were able to call support took courage which is a positive.

Peace and comforting thoughts to you,

Tim

[Guest_4593]

Thank you tim im not feeling very worth it right now to be honest today im was actually feeling worse i didn't even go to work today which is very unlike me spend the whole day in bed avoiding everyone and everything. I just have a very stong feeling of just giving up, accepting my life sucks and there's no hope for me and right now i feel pretty calm about it

[Sophie_M]

Hi Nic1233, 

We are so glad that you have reached out here tonight to let us know how you've been feeling. We're sorry to hear that you're feeling worse and feeling like giving up, but please know that you are valuable and important, and the community is here to support you through this. We are also currently getting in touch with you through email to check in with you. 

You're never alone in this, and we would really urge you to try reaching out again and talking through these feelings. As we mentioned earlier, Kids Helpline are available 24/7 through phone (1800 55 1800) and webchat at: https://kidshelpline.com.au/ 
In addition to this, the lovely counsellors at Suicide Call Back Service are also available 24/7 through phone (1300 659 467) and online chat: https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/ 

We hope that being part of this community can bring you some comfort and help you to feel a little less alone. Please feel free to keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it.

[smallwolf]

Hi again. I did not expect such as fast reply from you 🙂

Do you want to tell me about your day? I am sure you would have done something other than lying in bed. For example did you get some food? Watch TV? Listen to music? Read?

One positive is that you posted here to tell a little what you did and sharing a little of your life. (My psychologist suggested to me once to find the positives in the smallest of things, or what might otherwise be taken for granted.)

Also, I have been collecting inspirational quote that speak or say something to me. There is a thread on the forum here that I also post to...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/quotes-that-i-like/page/25

Your previous call is a step on a new journey.

[Guest_4593]

I hate to disagree with people trying to be supportive but i am alone, obvious im not physically alone, but iam completely alone i have a family not 1of them care im just used and expected everything from I dont even have friends i have a few colleagues who i just get along with more than others we dont socialise outside work i dont know how i call them friends. i will share a recent experience i was feeling low down whatever i reached out online trying to get i don't know a confidential ear ,10 minutes later i had the cops at my door they came in i got defensive and angry because it was confronting and stressful and embarrassing. I just wanted them out.. they called a ambulance i got more scared which means i got more aggressive and then so did the cops, a house guest called all my family over to watch the show , some may think ur family just cares, they left before the cops and ambos, except 1 who i needed to say i would go with to keep me safe ( i didn't go with them) i also when everyone left was feeling bad i messaged 3 of my "work friends " no 1 got back to me and the kicker is NOONE has mentioned it once. This was the first experience of a public whatever and not a single mention of it .. yeah people care.  reached out for helps i got cops not caring and compassionate. I was left feeling like a total loser felt and treated like a criminal like i did something wrong by speaking out. Yes my attitude at the time wouldn't of helped matters but they were there for a safety cheak not a crime

[Sophie_M]

Hey Nic1233, thanks for joining us again tonight and sharing a bit more of your story. We're so sorry to hear you had to go through this. We can imagine this would've been a really traumatic experience and would've left you feeling worse than you did before.
 
We recognise that this must be an overwhelming situation for you, so we just wanted to let you know that if you find yourself feeling particularly overwhelmed before receiving further mental health support, please know that there is help available to you. 

The Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 or our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14 are available to provide support and advice 24/7. Please do feel free to use these services to talk through what's on your mind when it's feeling like too much to cope with.

Please also feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it - we hope that you find this to be a safe and non-judgemental space.
 

[Guest_4593]

I seem to find away to sabotage everyone at the moment do something nice for me look out , try to help look out, be honest look out.