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shit
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i know that i have a lot to live for but i really want to end my life right now, idk im just trying to distract myself from the thoughts
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The warmest of welcomes to you at such an incredibly torturous time. I'm so glad you came here, giving yourself the freedom to express how you really feel and perhaps connect with people who can relate.
I'm wondering whether you know what's led you to feel the way you do. For some people it's obvious, what's led them to think this way. For others it's not so obvious. The second one can kind of creep up on us and end up equating to 'I just don't know how to live anymore'. Not knowing how to live anymore can involve a multifaceted challenge. I've found some of the facets involve 'Why am I feeling what I'm feeling? What the hell is going on with my inner dialogue? What the heck is my chemistry doing and why can't I feel any highs in life? Why have I suddenly lost my ability to see the best way forward? Why do I feel so unbelievably lost?'. From my own personal experience, it can feel like a deeply depressing challenge with a heck of a lot of questions and no obvious answers.
Wondering if you have anyone in your life who can help you make sense of where you are in your life right now. Whether it be a friend, family member, therapist of some type or someone else, I've found a guide who can help shed light on a lot of the questions and the way forward is an absolute must in life at times. I suppose, put simply, I'm a gal who literally can't live without such guides in my life, especially when I find myself in the depths of depression. It's dark down there and the inner dialogue can be too brutal to manage alone.
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Thank you for sharing with us here. We can hear how tough things are at the moment. Even when we know we have a lot to live for, the thoughts can still be really hard to deal with.
We’re really glad you could come and share this here, it’s not an easy thing to do and we really admire you doing so.
We’re reaching out to you privately to check you’re ok. In the meantime, we’d really encourage you to give us a call on the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors there. A few more options are KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 44, and Headspace on 1800 650 890. All of these options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer: Hopefully, you’ll hear from this lovely community soon. Maybe you could help them along by letting us know what kind of support you have at the moment, and if anyone around you is helpful or understanding with how you’re feeling?
Kind regards,
Sophie M
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