Dear fernwehr
If we've spent out lives trying to push down whatever happened in our childhood, to cope with life and act "normal" and "fit in"... then this manifests as certain thoughts and behaviours towards ourselves.
It's pretty scary opening up that box we shut things away in and locked up tightly.
It's scary for all of us. We are very uncomfortable with the vulnerable feelings - they're huge.
But we're also scared of the shame we have. I liken my shame to a dark forest. It's scary.
Opening up in a SAFE space, where you can begin to share your experiences, thoughts, behaviours and be completely accepted with LOVE is what we need. We don't get this just anywhere.
I feel we DO get this here on the forums.
I know it's far scarier to share in person even with a psych. It's not surprising you are reticent to share with your psych, we understand this 100%!
It's also normal to have extreme difficulty verbalising, esp for the first time.
Exploring our shame with a safe person or forum is really important.
I think you'll find that it isn't YOUR shame but you carry it as yours.
Those things we regret or feel bad about doing in our past is also part of our shame.
I want you to know that EVERY SINGLE PERSON has these feelings unless they're psychopaths or sociopaths.
The works of Brene Brown on shame are very powerful.
Learning how to be kind to ourselves may take a long time to become natural for us too. You can start small like I have this year and look at clips by Kristen Neff - she's beautiful.
I love to listen / watch these in the bath with a whole lot of scrubs and bizzos that smell wonderful. I always feel better after the bath.
Sometimes reading other's stories here, makes us realise that they KNOW how we feel right now.
Thankyou Grandy for sharing your story, I began reading it last night.
The generosity of spirit seldom seen in humankind is bravely shown here by forum members as they express their painful stories and share their journeys with us.
It's such a heartfelt privilege.
We're here for you too.
Lots of love
EM
