Rock bottom

[Tanialouise]

I’ve hit rock bottom

I’m a reactive depressive. Ie I only get depressed if something bad had happened. If it does I get so depressed I can’t get out of bed for 3-5 days until the depression lifts

and the ageing process is really getting to me.

I’m 65 and the ageing process is really bringing me down. I still feel young and look a lot younger than I am. But when I’m really badly depressed I simple don’t want to continue living. I have a wonderful home am financially secure. I have great friends. I also have a really rewarding profession that I am very grateful for. But when I am down none of this means anything

[Sophie_M]

Hi Tania,

Welcome to our valued online community. We're so glad you decided to join us here this evening. We're so sorry to hear that the ageing process is bringing you down. We can understand that this might be quite overwhelming at times, especially if you're feeling down.

It sounds like you have a good understanding of how your depression might cycle. Can we ask, do you have any mental health support? If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  They will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area.

In addition to this, there are always counsellors available via phone for your most difficult moments. Some of these 24/7 services include:

•  Lifeline - 13 11 14 / https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat (online chat available 7pm-12am) 
•  Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467

You also might be interested in our page, “Life starts at 60” - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/older-people/starts-at-sixty
Thanks again for reaching out here. Please feel free to keep us updated whenever you feel up to it.

[IsaJett]

Hi tanialouise

I hear you loud and clear ...aging sucks really Badly for me too . And omg when depression hits ...and all your circumstances give you no reason to be depressed ...that’s even a tougher pill to swallow . And I went through the exact sentiments last week . Why am I so depressed ? I ask myself ...I literally search for stuff in my head to explain why am I so down . Of course that is exactly how depression works . It sucks you right in and says yep sorry You are depressed and you to stay that way .
it’s called like a negative default or something . The only way I find to get refuge from it all is when I turn on my depression . And I in turn gain control by being the observer . Have a outer body experience almost and see what the depression is doing to me. Let it wash over me . I also struggle with my anxiety and ptsd symptoms as well . But they all about the same ...just paralysis telling me I’m worthless and undeserving of happiness .

this I have found has been many years of my unhappy toxic marriage where things just were not healthy . So all the toxic stuff have stucked although I left marriage 5 years ago .

so am just working on conditioning myself to a state of happiness ...or at least a state of non depression . It takes practice to just observe the depression and my thoughts.. m6 internal dialogue ..which happens daily ...but the key is to not fuel it ..

observe it and gently let it go and slide over you .

hope this helps you