Jury Duty

[Squidy]

Hi. Apologies if i'm doing this wrong, I have never done this before.

I am 50 years old and about 4 years ago got myself diagnosed with Asperger's, because I always knew I was 'different'. I am married (thank god for the internet), but I have no friends and am unable to maintain or initiate any form of decent conversation. Most people think I'm weird and just give up. I don't talk very much and can't use the phone. I also have a stutter, which doesn't help with the phone thing. All these depression help places have 24 hour phone lines, but I can't use the phone, and the chats don't start until later, so here I am.

Just over a year ago I was diagnosed with severe anxiety - I see bad things happening ALL the time. I don't see a man standing at a corner, waiting to cross the street, I see a man in danger. I see my wife falling down our stairs, my kids tripping over a t-shirt and hurting themselves. Always pain and death. I have multiple panic attacks all day, every day. I went to the psychiatrist because my wife made me - they wanted me on drugs and CBT, but I countered that by never going back to my GP or talking about it again ... I can't talk about it, I just want it to go away.

I got a letter 4 weeks ago telling me to go to jury duty .. I can't be in a room full of strangers .. I can't go to the city (last time I went was with my wife and I had a panic attack) .. I won't take public transport... and I'm being forced to do all this stuff. I thought the easiest way out of it was to harm myself, but my wife organised a phone appt with a GP, who told me because it had been more than 12 months since she had seen me she couldn't do anything and told me it was my civic duty. I felt really humiliated.

I had to turn up to jury duty on monday - my brother drove me in... was dishcarged and told to come in again on tuesday and was discharged again until thursday where I will get assigned to a trial. Every time they go through the ballot its like being in front of a firing squad .. 4 times and each time I feel like I'm going to die.

I can't go to court .. these are all criminal cases - I steer away from this sort of stuff - I watch cartoons and try to think of other things. I can't be in a room with people talking about violence and paedophiles and whatever else there may be .. I don't know what to do.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Squidy, 

Wishing you a warm welcome to the forums. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are so glad that you have reached out here today. We can hear how distressing this must be for you to go through, but please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space and our community is here to support you through this difficult time.

We understand that it can be really difficult to talk over the phone, and just wanted to let you know that our friends at Suicide Call Back Service also offer 24/7 webchat at https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling Please also know that our Beyond Blue Support Service is available to you 24/7 by phone if you feel up to it, on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our kind and understanding counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

You are not alone here, and we hope that you keep us updated on how you're going whenever you feel ready.
 

[PamelaR]

Hello Squidy and warm welcome to our forums

Sophie has provided good contacts. You're not alone in how you feel. It's not unusual to feel sick or scared if you have to front up to a room full of strangers where you hear horrible things.

I am surprised that your GP wasn't more understanding about your situation. Unfortunately the situation isn't just going to go away. You will have to talk (or chat with someone online) about it. Not sure which state you live in, but you need to find someone who can be an advocate for you and to talk to the court.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[tranzcrybe]

You can request to be excused from Jury Duty.

There is a form online or you can request at the court - providing evidence of your Asperger's should be enough to get you out.

[Guest_4643]

hi, welcome.

i agree with tranzcrybe - you can be excused, you just need to provide evidence from a professional. i got one recently for the first time, got a letter from a professional, uploaded it onto the website when i logged in and i was excused.

[geoff]

Hello Squidy, and thanks for your post.

I agree you will be able to be excused by jury duty, especially how you are feeling and unable to discuss your situation and it's disappointing what your doctor has said to you, perhaps another doctor could be of assistance and because you have been selected for jury duty doesn't mean you have to abide by that decision if you have a legitimate reason, which you do.

I've been selected three times and each time I have been able to not go, the first time I was meant to be doing an exam, the second time we were about to have our first baby and the third time I was suffering from depression all were rational reasons to avoid jury duty.

Geoff.

[Croix]

Dear Squidy~

It sounds like just the experience before court starts is doing you harm due to your anxiety condition. As others have told you it is simply a matter of getting a professional to give you a note and you will be excused.

However it looks like that is only the tip of the iceberg, your life is made unhappy becuse of your anxiety and Asperger conditions , and limits you in what you can do in all sorts of ways. Life has to be better than that, you deserve more.

You old GP does not sound very sympathetic, or even interested enough to get you back to see how you are. Can I suggest you try a different GP in an extended consultation? There is nothing wrong with you having your wife with you if you want.You might even be able to do it via tele-health and not leave home -though that is only a guess.

I found the face-to-face explanations to a doctor very hard even without a stutter and so wrote everything down a few days in advance - using point form is good. Then shared the paper.

This was excellent becuse it gave me time to get everything in order, and it let me just answer questions from the doctor, not have to try to explain everything.

Do you think this is something you can manage to do?

Croix