I’m so lonely right now

[Emily12346]

Right now I have felt so lonely. My friends have been hating on me lately of what I did to one of my friend’s . Couple of weeks ago, I told a school councillor about my friend that I was worried about. I have been worried about her for a long time because she selfs harms a lot and I couldn’t bare knowing this info and something bad happening and I didn’t do anything about it. She has been in denial of whole thing and she always says that she is fine, which I know her so well that she was definitely not fine. My other best friend agreed with me that she needed help and that we didn’t want anything to happen , so we agreed to tell someone we trusted. We decided to have a talk about our concerns about our friend and tell her that we supported her, I mentioned that both of us will have to tell someone because we are worried about u. Having past mental health problems I knew that getting help was the right thing to do and it helps so much, but after I mentioned it to my friend who was struggling, my other best friend who supported me with my choices said , she didn’t agree on telling someone about this and she said that she wouldn’t support me if I went through with this.

Anyway couple days later got more advice from other close friends and they 100% agreed on telling someone about it and that it is the right thing to do , even if she hates u afterwards , it could save her life. Anyway I told the school councillor about everything going on, they said that they would talk to her , ring the parents up and take further action from there. They said to tell her to give her the heads up instead of just surprising her with this info. Me and my other close friends approached her and told her everything and we mentioned things on why we did this like it’s because we love u so much and can’t bare the thought of something bad happening,that’s why we did this etc. she went silent and was chill to my surprise but I could tell she was  upset and mad. After going back to class , my friend who was struggling with self harm, yelled out to my friend who claimed that she would support me with trying to get our other friend help, and said “they told”, my friend approached the struggling one and said “how dare they, they are terrible friends.” I knew after that, that she didn’t want to help my struggling friend , she was using this to get closer to my other friend because she was always jealous with how close we were.

Now none of my friends are talking to me and have left me on opened on everything because I did a terrible thing, they are acting like I don’t exist and that I was never friends with them.

it was one of the hardest things I have had to do, but I knew it was the right thing , but now I have zero friends so I feel so lonely and I feel like no one even cared about me. Other people are telling me that  she will realise that u were the good friend  and that ur friend will forgive u , but it doesn’t feel like it ,and now I’m on school holidays so everyone is hanging out and I’m just home alone , bored shitless and waiting for the days to finish and sometimes I just want to disappear because I feel like no one will ever love me like I love everybody else. Did I do the right thing?

[therising]

Hi Emily12346

You are such a loving and selfless friend. The courage it took for you to make that choice, to risk losing her friendship, is a reflection of how incredibly strong, unselfish and mature you are. I would have to say best friends are those who change the course of a person's life, especially when that course may lead to deeply depressing places.

I recall when my daughter made this exact choice in primary school. Her and a friend went and spoke to the principal about this concern they had for their friend. While their friend felt betrayed and would not speak to them for some time, it went on to change the course of her life for the better. This girl's mum even spoke to my daughter and the other girl who reported their concerns, thanking them for something she just wasn't aware of. The mother was deeply grateful to them and got onto seeking help straight away.

It might be the case that your friend will realise what you really did for her only when she starts to receive the kind of help that makes a positive difference to her. If not for you she wouldn't have stepped foot on that path. There is a history of individuals who have undertaken the right or most courageous of actions, those who have stood alone until others have woken up to how brave it was to have taken such action/s. It's a tough waiting game sometimes, waiting for people to wake up, to become more conscious of what you were conscious of all along - the need for someone to care enough to make a difference.

Have no doubt, you are a truly beautiful person.❤️

[indigo22]

Hi Emily12346,

Thank you for reaching out, you may not feel like it at the moment, but you really did do the right thing for someone you care about. Have you tried to reach out to her since? If she refuses to see you, could you perhaps text or email her to tell her how sorry you are if she feels betrayed but that you are not sorry that you tried to help someone who means so much to you. If you can get that message across to her, there is a good chance she will see things differently when she is feeling better. We all should have such caring friends as you. I know the situation you are in is uncomfortable and difficult, are you getting some support from your family? If you need to get some additional support at the moment, you could phone or chat with Beyond Blue help line or another help line if you prefer, or speak with the school counsellor about how you are feeling, just make sure you are feeling supported through this. We will be here too if you want to continue this conversation.

Sending you a big hug,

indigo22