I’m over it

[redtornado]

I’ve seen GP’s, psychologists, support help lines like beyond blue weekly and yet I get “you’ll be fine”.
 
I’ve recently seen a psychiatrist and been diagnosed with Asperger’s which means nothing to me.
 
I have a wife and son who has ASD but it feels like no one get’s me.
 
I’ve opened up to friends, family and my wife and all my words get thrown in my face and instead they prioritise their feelings.
 
i’m sick and tired of everything and want to end it and the funny thing is support hotlines, safe havens, hospitals, psychologists,  psychiatrists, friends and family don’t care.
 
Even though all I want and need is hospitalisation. Public health services don’t care.
Finally don’t be like me. Try as hard as you can to live but I’m done.
 

[therising]

Hi Joel

I really get where you're coming from in regard to being able to analyse easily beyond yourself when there's a problem. I know some highly intuitive people who are absolutely brilliant at analysing and problem solving for others, both inside and outside of work. Stuff just comes to them so easily but when it comes to processing and making sense of where they're at in a major challenge, it's like their intuition and processing skills just leave them.

Read a great book some time ago called 'Insanely Gifted' by Jamie Catto. I like to think Catto's take on things helps explain the above mentioned phenomena. It's a book about the many different facets of us, how they come to life, what they sound like etc. Imagine there's an analyst in just about every one of us, a stresser that can cause us great anxiety, a facet or facets that feel deeply (including feeling what's depressing), a commander that dictates some form of 'Get your sh** together soldier, move it!',  a seer who's able to envision or imagine really easily and clearly in regard to the way forward, a sage who has all the right advice etc etc. It's an interesting concept. Under certain circumstances the analyst will come to life but won't come to life under other circumstances. Same applies to all the other facets. So, the question becomes 'How can I channel the part of myself that I really need the most right now?'.

I've found the pure analyst in me (that only sees the facts) will never come to life when I'm emotional. I have to completely emotionally detach in order to tap into it. A massive challenge in a highly emotional situation. I'm glad you've got a number of good supports around you. I find that when I can't tap into the part or parts of myself I really need, I rely on those around me to be those things for me.

Another interesting thought: If we can exercise certain parts of us so well and so regularly to the point where we can channel them on command, we don't simply have to hope they come to life when we really need them. Easier said than done, that's for sure.