I don't belong

[Kombie390]

What am I doing here. I don't belong here. I don't feel like I have a place on this earth anymore. Why you ask? Because of dissociation. I've been switching from really young ages to my current age for almost a straight month. I've bounced around from caring for my younger parts to now been back to hurting and destroying them and myself. I love my counsellors they are great. I am going through so many issues and problems I keep feeling like a heavy burden towards them I bother them too often I'm not their only client I never have a good day or week to report back to them in any sessions anymore. They've suggested and offered the mental health crisis team whom I've had contact and used before. It's just that with the dissociation and switching ages and what I went through in the past I am absolutely terrified to be locked away. One of my counsellors have suggested a retreat for respite or utilise a hospital stay. I can't. I'm scared. I want to talk but at the same time not talk. I feel all blocked up I feel like I am shutting myself down. I'm slipping I know I am this time right now a part of me doesn't care if I'm alive or not nor do I care how badly I am hurting myself or the harm and risk I put myself in.

[Ggrand]

Hello Kombie...

Im so pleased that you reached out..That takes a lot of courage..Please could you try to reach out to a lifeline again....It’s so important that you keep yourself safe..

Something nice and relaxing for both your adult self and child self would be to pop into you tube and search “Dan Jones Sleep stories”....They are gentle stories of nature, adventures, picnic, rivers, stream, etc...I listen to him every night and listen as much as I can...when my mind wanders, I’ll pull myself up on it and start listening again to the story...It seems to make me more relaxed and calm..before sleeping....Most time I fall asleep before the story ends..Hopefully you might consider listening to one of them, to help your mind have a break...

I sure that the councillors would not think you bother them too much...They are their to help guide you towards wellness...and knowing how your feeling and thinking is helping them do that...

It’s hard to do it alone..yes we need to help ourselves, sometimes we need the professionals to help guide us the road path...so then it might become easier for us....

I hope your okay lovely Kombie..and I hope you manage to get some good sleep tonight...

Sending you my care, love and warm hugs..💜🤗🦋.

Grandy...

[monkey_magic]

Hi Kombie390,

Just swinging past to see how you are going.

I wouldn't worry about burdening your councillors, that is what they are there for.

You sound like a sensitive, caring person. Good on you.

You sound as though you are in a pickle but you also sound as though you want to help yourself by reaching out to us.

Is there anything that has helped you in the past when you've felt this way?

Your title says you don't belong. I'd like to challenge you and say you do belong. Without even knowing opening up about your feelings can also help others in need.

We all have an inner child within us and sometimes that child just needs to be loved and nurtured.

It's so good that you've reached out to us today.