I am safe at the moment - thoughts of self harm

[K_Ley]

Hi I am so confused with what is going on for me.  I have always been a strong person and looked out for those around me.  I have lost 4 relatives in less than 2 years, one of my sisters being the last in May from covid.  In the past 6 weeks I have self-harmed twice.  I have never done that before.  I am talking to a psychologist once sometimes twice a week.  Tonight, I had thoughts of it again but didn't act, was able to use some of the tools I have learnt and redirected my thoughts.   I don't understand why I am even having these thoughts, I am not suicidal and I really don't want to hurt myself either.  What is wrong with me????

[K_Ley]

Hi

Just curious whether people tell their families about self-harm.  I am having thoughts on a semi-regular basis and have acted on them more than once.  Most of my family live 2 + hours away and I don't see them regularly so don't want to worry them.  The people I work with know and live close enough that I am giving a house key to one of them for emergencies.  

[Sophie_M]

Hi K_Ley,

Thank you for sharing here today. We are glad this is a space where you feel safe openly talking about what you are going through.

It is really brave of you to consider letting others know about what you are going through. It is not an easy thing to do but is so important in making sure we keep ourselves safe. It sounds like you have some good coping strategies to manage these thoughts and this is something that you can share with your family, too, if you feel comfortable. While their initial response may be one of shock and/or concern, letting them know what you do to cope with these feelings and what they might be able to do to support you can be helpful.

Beyond Blue has a good resource if you feel your family might have some questions about self-harm: Self Harm Guide for Parents

Once again, this is a really courageous step to take. We are always here for support if you ever want to talk it over - Contact the Beyond Blue Support Centre on 1300 22 4636 or http://www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

Take good care of yourself K_Ley ❤️

Kind regards
Sophie M

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome,

It sounds like you're going through a really difficult time right now. Self-harm thoughts and behaviors can feel so isolating. It's good to know that you have some supportive people nearby that you trust with a key - that's a huge sign of courage and wisdom. There's no shame at all in struggling with this. You're so brave for reaching out. And in posting here.

As for family, whether or not you tell them is a very personal choice. There's no right or wrong answer. The most important thing is doing what feels safest and most comfortable for you right now.Maybe down the road if you feel ready to open up, you can. Or maybe you decide not to. All those options are okay.

Know there's always someone to talk to if the self-harm thoughts get overwhelming.