Hello Anzacspirit,
I don’t suppose you have asked yourself, how long do you
wallow in your self-recrimination and guilt?
May I suggest, at least, for you do that?
You don’t have to write any answers here, don’t have to
detail what you feel so badly about, nothing, as you see fit. I’m just asking
you to take a step back, look as if from outside, wondering what you would say
to anyone else.
How long has you served your sentence so far? How many
years?
Who imposed this sentence upon you, it would seem, of an
indefinite length?
Why not do that?
& set a date for when you get out on parole?
I propose a formula: For each year you have already spent
tormenting yourself, add a week from today.... If you have been in your own
prison for 12 years, from today, add 12 weeks. That’s when your parole is due.
On that day, look back to October 9th 2021, & ask if
you have done anything terrible, I mean, permanently harmful, to anyone,
including yourself? If “No”, be free, but still monitoring yourself and how you
deal with people out in the world. I think a Parole like this might only be a
year or two. What do you think?
Personally, not even knowing your awful deed, I think you
have done your time. I also think, you don’t agree. That’s why I offer this
suggested course of action, a compromise, if you will.
I think you are human and that’s what your Psychiatrist
was trying to tell you back when you first began this thread.
Myself, and everybody here, we are all human & we all
make mistakes of different shapes and sizes, some having long-term impacts for
all concerned, while some, we don’t even know we did, and most in between/
We do the best with what we have. Maybe that wasn’t much,
but today we have more to work with.
I’d let you out right now, but it is not up to me. I
don’t have the keys.
*
& by the way, I have been looking around the forums,
and I don’t think Sophie_M sends universally generic responses, like a robot.
She seems to be alerted by certain words and phrases we tend to use when in
distress, and reminds us of the services available to us.
mmMekitty
