Help needed

[Farmer680]

Hi it’s a long story so I will keep it short as possible I am a farmer and also work in a hospital as a cleaner I have worked hard 7 days a week for 35 years, we opened our farm up to foster children so we. could teach them farm life something they would never experience ,we done it for ten years had two in permanent care one is still with us one 16 year old girl done a runner and took off and has made up false allegations against me no charges have been laid yet I went to court 2 months a go I now have to go back in four days I I am so scared can’t sleep properly sever anxiety I have never done a single thing wrong in my life have thought about suicide nearly every day I have even googled the fastest way to die,two people I worked with both committed suicide 4 years a go. I love my family and the foster child that Is still staying with us knows her twin sister is lying, I am so scared I will go to jail for something I didn’t do so suicide really is the only way out for me, who is going to believe a 57 year old man what do I do the stress is so bad it’s effecting my work.

[Farmer680]

Thank you Tim, at the start it was very hard the only reason I knew about beyond blue was we were at a stationary engine rally many years. a go a man done a speech he said he started off beyond blue because his 16 year old son committed Suicide, I googled beyond blue then thought people will think I am mad if I tell them I wanted to leave this earth, butI signed up and posted my first post, and people actually understood and cared,if only the people out in the world knew there are people that do understand and care in this world they might have a second thought about committing suicide ,I know I would be absolutely lost with out talking to someone outside my family, I would just let it all bottle up inside, until there was no way out it’s a scary world we live in, thank you everyone much appreciated

[demonblaster]

Hi Farmer and everyone ☺

Such a shame to meet people in these circumstances.
It's good to help people in their darkest times.
You've helped so many, now's some good coming back to you here ☺

There's constant change with every second of life which can begin recovery

A way to ease some stress is to give your mind a break from the constant pain.
Many may feel meditation sounds too hard.
It's not that I don't think, like anything worthwhile it takes practice.

Deep slow breathing as often as you think of is proven to help greatly with stress

First get into a rythym of breathing. We're very tense with pain, it helps relax us & gets the oxygen around.

• Feel the new fresh air entering your body
• Slowly breathe out feeling your shoulders relaxing.

• By thinking about something that has/does give you pleasure, maybe being in the water, being amongst the animals you care for, nature, music taste smell etc

• Closing your eyes frees distraction.

• Picture the scene and surroundings in your mind.

• Remember and importantly feel the pleasure you've had or get.

By not thinking how an unwanted thought makes you feel...it's easier to gently refocus back to your good place.

Repeat this process about 5,000 times 😉

Even 10 seconds free of negatives is 10 seconds free of pain making room for other thought.

I think suicide and mental health's (mh) slowly now starting to be more openly spoken about. Not a moment too soon

Reiterating constantly the many reasons thankfully you have helps take suicide out of options

• The world needs good people Farmer.

• You've done and I have no doubt will continue helping others in which ever direction in the future you choose. It's in your nature.

• You and your loving family need you.
You all have a right to know happiness and live in peace which would be denied if you give in.

• Previously/now you help children into a good life.
You didn't give up on them. They can't see you give up either.

• The animals need you

The best survival technique is not giving thoughts of suicide any power.
Be firm with yourself saying NO It's not an option. Your mind then looks for other ways of coping

You're a survivor which would be helping many here dear Farmer ☺

Hold on matey You're doing incredibly well in very hard times. Power to you.

🌱

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Farmer...

I hope your feeling okay...and trying hard to be kind to you..

I have been listening along here, but not replying not...I’m going through a bit of a hard time right now...

You are so correct with your post above our beautiful Deebi’s...I signed up here in a bad way..after a few months I was suicidal and stayed talking on here...I found a beautiful bbff on here...and many great friends with there kindness and care got me through the roughest patch I had ever been through....I still fall quite a bit but I will continually keep get up because of these wonderful people here...I also wish other people feeling so down knew about this great organisation...I am so pleased you found us here at Beyond Blue....

You have been doing so well managing your mental health and we are all so proud of you...Try hard lovely Farmer to keep those negative thoughts distracted when they start invading your thoughts....Dwelling on them..makes them grow so strong at times that it’s hard to distract then....The early you can distract your mind away from them..the easier it will be to manage them...

You have such a beautiful and kind heart..helping children to get ahead in this world....giving them plenty of care and a family environment...The organisation that dropped you from their services really should be ashamed of themselves..they have known you many years..I am sorry they did that to you..

Talk here whenever you feel up to it Dear Farmer..you’re a valuable member of our community family...

Sending my kindest thoughts with my care...

Grandy..

[Farmer680]

Hi Grandy and everyone, you are so right it has been hard, the organisation we fostered the children with for 10 years just chucked no explanation no nothing, all we wanted was the children to have a life they would never have otherwise, everyone child that come to us couldn’t read or write or tell the time but when they left they could read books write and tell the time. we only wanted the best for the children, the teenagers we had that were in permanent care they could read write or tell the time but now the one who stayed with us when her sister took off is in year 11 and doing fantastic, that’s all I wanted was for them to get a better job than what I have, and the other sister who was doing fantastic when she was living with us she took off over her phone was taken yes she has her own phone but is now struggling at school and that’s the reason we said no mobile phone until your 18,also we have been told by our lawyer he is quitting 25 years of being a lawyer he can’t stand the way good people are treated criminals the way it is now bad people have more rights, he also said and we wonder why the suicide rate has gone up, now we might have to find another lawyer. it’s been very stressful I need to stop thinking about it and stop the dark thoughts, they will not win we have done good to a lot of people then it all ends up like this an absolute nightmare I am so glad I can come in here and not be judged thank you so much

[demonblaster]

Hi Farmer and everyone 🖐

Good seeing you ☺

It's really poor form isn't them just dumping you.
All you've done so well should be taken into account.

I was wondering if you feel up to writing or emailing them stating your case and how it feels to be presumed guilty if that's the case and deserted by an organisation youse have supported and done so well by for yrs. Possible the law says in these cases they have to stop contact but I don't know.

I think standing up for yourself would be a good thing to do for yourself. You're choice just my thoughts.

That's a real shame your lawyers moving on.
You poor people that's another hard blow.
Would he be able to recommend someone with luck.
It'd be soul destroying for them seeing people go through the mill like this but Farmer it doesn't mean you're going to as well.

I completely understand the constant thoughts and how deep they go. Your minds trying to fathom it and not knowing the next step must be agony.

Try which takes practice focusing on only one thing. Pick something in the room that's neutral or pleasant think only about that. Gently allow other thoughts to move through without further thought on them.
You need a break from constant pain you poor man.

May I suggest that you jot down the numbers Sophie gave you back there a bit like mensline, suicide call back here etc.
You always have here and as you know we care very much.
They're professionals and also might have other lines of help that we're unaware of.

My heart goes out to you and yours good man.
You're in a terrible unfair situation by a nasty vindictive person who with any justice in this world will be caught and get the help she badly needs.

Hold on Farmer you deserve to keep going. Good people need to stay. It's your right.

Say Hi to your lovely animals for me plz.

See you later. Thanks for keeping in touch ☺

⚘

[Farmer680]

Thank you very much for your encouragement it’s very hard at the moment another blow loosing our Lawyer, he said the whole system needs an investigation , this person will never stop her lies, she told her twin sister who is living with us now, she has 9 intervention orders and was jumping up and down clapping her hands with excitement, I told our lawyer she will never stop because she kept saying my lawyer is free and laughs. surely legal aid would have to do something about it, also the organisation that chucked us after 10 years allowed this person to go around to the other foster children we had and put stuff in to there head more lies I just need to get a grip and stop thinking about it night and day, I need to fight the dark thoughts I have too,my wife goes and has another foot operation in two weeks as the first one never worked properly she has to rest for 6 weeks I have to go to court on the 11th of November and the 1st of December and that’s what I am scared of if she has made up more lies and I get taken away who will look after my wife, there will be no money coming in we will loose everything wow it makes me sad,all the organisation had to do was tell us ten years a go in training this could happen and it usually does we wouldn’t of done it, but they don’t, the organisation said children can come out with stuff ten years later and has to be investigated ,sorry it’s very very hard on us all here, it seems the police ect aren’t interested in what we say we have never hear from them they haven’t been back near the farm, or spoken to us.so we don’t know what’s going on. I will ring the numbers and talk to someone because I am stressed real bad.

[demonblaster]

Dear Farmer ☺

You're very welcome. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could do something to change this terrible living nightmare you're all going through.

Doesn't seem right does it the Police not being in touch geez you need support from them too. I don't know at all but I wonder maybe this is out of their hands atm.

I'm so glad you're going to ring the numbers. I hope you find some relief talking to them and they might know of somewhere you can get help. Let's hope Farmer, you're well and truly due for a break.

Although I think it's wise to look ahead to prepare if possible for situation changes but be careful matey that you don't overfocus on what's not happened as yet. I do understand how you'd be thinking ahead just if you're able put most of your focus in what's going on atm. Hard I know to do but what you think potentially might occur God I hope for you won't eventuate so if there's anyway of preparing in case fair enough but if not it's energy you need now being used up for an unknown future for the moment.

Have you been able to get a new lawyer at all. Huge blow mid case finishing. Must be heartbreaking for good lawyers who give a dam let alone you poor people.

I wish you every good bit of luck possible in this awful painful situation dear man and to your loving family.

Easy to say but please hold on. At some point in your life you'll be looking back on this.

My wish for you all is peace 🕊

[Quercus]

Hello Farmer,

Just saw your thread now and wondered how you are coping today?

I'm sure you're busy on the farm (no such thing as weekends for farming families) but I hope you can find even a moment to do something just for yourself that you enjoy.

Your story is so upsetting to read. I can't imagine how hurt you must feel. No wonder people feel so reluctant to foster kids.

Have your local community been supportive of you? Do you get much contact with other farmers in your area? The legal costs alone and risk of losing your farm must be devestating.

Is there anyone locally you could ask for help to fundraise to cover costs? Maybe your colleagues at the hospital?

Another thought was whether you have been keeping detailed records of what she has been doing to harrass you? If she is at the hospital for example they might have cameras that can support your side of the story. Or write down anyone who was also a witness. It is awful that you are having to defend yourself after simply trying to care for a child.

I would hope that in court they are well aware of how often the system is abused and see through her crap.

Living in a rural area too the topic of suicide hits close to home. I wonder whether you've heard of the blue tree project? It was started by a farming family here in WA who lost their son to suicide. Whenever I feel at risk I like to read about it and plan which trees I want to paint. It reminds me people do care and gives me hope for myself. I hope it helps you too.

One day at a time. As long as you're still here trying there is hope.

Love Nat

[Farmer680]

Thank you very much Nat and everyone else I really appreciate all the support, we had good news today our Lawyer said he will see our case through and that's the last, as he already had our files and everything he said he is going to take her to the cleaners she's not going to know what hit her its the biggest waste of taxpayers money, our lawyer said you won't get any support from the police which is disappointing, I need to take one day at a time i am starting to think too far ahead which is making me worse i need to calm down and stop thinking things. the problem is she lived with us for 10 years so she knew exactly how we lived, what time i started work and finished ect she knows the system, and the last time she had the intervention order against my wife and daughter after she did a runner because they found her phone she was hiding she would message them and say sorry for ruining your family and making the stories it up, but she never meant it she was playing us.its all fun for her because its free.

[demonblaster]

Hey there Farmer and other good people ☺

Wow that's such good news the lawyers going to stick with you. I was thinking about that. So happy for you. Sounding like he has plenty to throw at her. Good job!

Must be a huge relief for you all. About time something went your way ☺

My feelings well at the very least hopes are she'll trip over herself which with how she's carrying on makes for a good chance.

Yes our minds shift quickly into overtime when hard times are on us. Good you're aware of this which will help you focus on other things to give yourself some reprieve poor man.

Ok Farmer and your lovely family ☺ let's hope this is the beginning of better days for you all. Certainly a good break well deserved.

Thoughts care and support to you all.

🍃