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Community Member
Hi it’s a long story so I will keep it short as possible I am a farmer and also work in a hospital as a cleaner I have worked hard 7 days a week for 35 years, we opened our farm up to foster children so we. could teach them farm life something they would never experience ,we done it for ten years had two in permanent care one is still with us one 16 year old girl done a runner and took off and has made up false allegations against me no charges have been laid yet I went to court 2 months a go I now have to go back in four days I I am so scared can’t sleep properly sever anxiety I have never done a single thing wrong in my life have thought about suicide nearly every day I have even googled the fastest way to die,two people I worked with both committed suicide 4 years a go. I love my family and the foster child that Is still staying with us knows her twin sister is lying, I am so scared I will go to jail for something I didn’t do so suicide really is the only way out for me, who is going to believe a 57 year old man what do I do the stress is so bad it’s effecting my work.
184 Replies 184

Hi Farmer, 

We are so sorry to hear that visiting the cemetary has made you feel worse. We can understand that having to deal with this for so long must be really exhausting - we want you to know that we recognise how hard you've been working and how much you are doing. You are so strong, and you have come through so much. 

We are concerned about your wellbeing, so we are getting in touch with you privately to check in and offer some support.

Thank you for reaching out here tonight and letting us know what's going on for you. It sounds like it's been a really tough day and we hope that you can find something to bring yourself some comfort tonight, whether that is calling one of the helplines we've previously recommended, having a long shower, or just watching a TV show.


Hi there Farmer good seeing you ☺ hi everyone 🖐

Glad hearing your Dad had Xmas with you all. That would have been nice for you all I imagine.

Dear man it would have been so hard visiting the cemetry.
So many emotions ignite with grieving.
How it is as the moment in your life with such high stress would have made it so much harder.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so terribly low.
It seems it won't change doesn't it.
It's near impossible to see a better future.
Often we don't notice changes happening they can be very small which can ultimately unravel creating better times.

Farmer you haven't done anything wrong. You've cared enough to make better lives for many.
Good people don't deserve this rot and certainly can't give in to the raw pain that becomes too much at times I know.

It feels like there's nothing left in the tank doesn't it.

There is matey... it's in these times the way to get through is to dig deep.
Use the pains energy to keep going.

Incredibly hard but try hard not to think too much and feel why your hurting.
Might sound silly but for now it's about survival.

Directing your thoughts to things that give you pleasure and security like the beautiful strong love of your family.
Your lovely animals
Friends here included
Your achievements

You are strong enough Farmer man!
You can't waste all that effort and strength by giving in.
I don't believe it's in your character.

Hold on good man ⚘

Community Member
Thank you, it was real hard going to the cemetery but something kept saying visit your mother she has been gone 25 years and that was the first time I had been to the cemetery, only because I wanted to remember her the way she was. My father is from the old school he is disgusted at what the now 17 year old is doing to us he can’t believe the law won’t put a stop to her is she going to be happy then when she has destroyed us then what move on to the next poor victims, she knows the system inside and out, she knows she can go from lawyer to lawyer and it’s all free for her but it’s costing us a fortune.I will just take a day at a time and see what happens.

Hi everyone 🖐
Hey Farmer you're very welcome ☺

I think at times when there's reasons we may never understand rather than question them can be good to follow our feelings as you did.

You listened to your inner voice that was leading you to the cemetry.
Good on you that would have taken a lot of courage I'd imagine

Understandably it was very upsetting for you.
Some pain sounds like it was released which is so needed. It needs out.

Farmer I wonder if on a subconcious level you needed to be near your dear Mum.
The visit might have revived in you some more much needed energy to keep going. Dunno but I sensed a renewed energy in you which is fantastic.

I hope matey you're finding it a little easier now not that it ever is of course but maybe a sense of closure without letting go.
And that you'll feel your Mums presence in support and love that'll always be.

Hearing you say you'll take a day at a times incredible.
You really do have a strong spirit. Rightfully so. You've done good by so many, not bad.

Power to you Mr Farmer ☺ 👍


Thank you, it was the hardest thing I have had to do and that’s go to the cemetery it was like my mother was calling me, I could feel she was there I know she is watching over me, I am sorry I never got to see her because she died while on holidays in NSW and never got to come home. she was hard working and loved her children she was 51 so I have really never got over it, and all the stress isn’t helping either I pray to GOD it would just go away so we can live a normal happy life like it used to be.

Farmer man hi ☺ and everyone 👋

We don't know what goes on after loved ones pass on. Imo and many people including myself have had happenings that indicate there could be more that goes on.

You've been feeling your dear Mums presence which is absolute Gold I'm very happy for you, that must be of great comfort to you. In our deepest pain our walls are down which might make it easier for contact. It's a good feeling knowing a loved ones around keeping an eye on us isn't it.

So good that you seem so much more settled and kinda accepting in that you'll take each day as it comes. It's really good you've come to that point Farmer. If you can keep thinking that way to hopefully hold the mindset it'll help no end. I think you as well from deep down have accessed the goods to keep going. Often in the deepest dark times is when we seem to gain more strength. Survivals a mighty strength that helps us through.

I'm so sorry you had such an incredibly sad loss with your poor Mum and so young too. Would have been an awful shock. There's no time limit with grieving dear man it's terribly hard isn't it. Acceptance comes also in it's own time. You'll always love and be loved.

Easy to see you follow in your lovely Mums footsteps being such a hard worker and having strong love. How are you going with the workload I keep thinking but forget to ask. I hope your good wifes foots on the mend too the poor lady.

I hope in some way through the days you're able to direct your thoughts to happy times hope and feel comfort in the strong love you have including your Mums. There's enormous power and healing with love. It's the biggy.

Always wanting a good outcome for you all Farmer ☺ I quite often wonder how it's all going for you.


Hi thank you I always appreciate people taking the time to reply, I just feel confused and what she is getting out of doing this to us she might be laughing now all this big game but as our lawyer said he is going to have the last laugh, we don’t hate her we feel sorry for her mentally she needs help before it’s to late and she gets the wrong person, some days I feel fine then the next day I think why am I still alive then I try and fight it, it goes away after a while,but the thing is we are one of many many cases in Australia I have even spoken to people who went through the same thing as us but unfortunately she did loose her husband he couldn’t take the lies that were said about his family, and she said the only person you will get help from is your lawyer you will not get help from anyone else, she also was entitled to legal aid but got knocked back just like we did I am staying as strong as I can the long hours the stress all taken there toll my wife’s foot is nearly better I try and keep it all hidden inside , but I did say to my wife I don’t care anymore which got her upset I didn’t mean it we have been married 31 years and she works just as hard as me. I will try and stay strong.

Hi Farmer ☺

Just wanted to pop in and tell you I've read your post but left it a bit late to reply so I'll see you tomoz hopefully to chat.

You're welcome and thanks ☺

Hi there Farmer and everyone 👋

Yes it's a bit of a mystery as to why she's carrying on like she is.

It seems clear she has some undiagnosed MH issues that need adressing but unfortunately probs won't happen for a while yet.

Possibly her pain before living with you carrying on like this subconsciously is her only way of releasing it at this time in her life. It's appalling and cruel.

I do believe and certainly hope she'll trip over herself in time.

I think try not to worry yourself and get deep into thought why she's doing this. Your energys needed in keeping yourself afloat which you really are doing such a good job of.

So many reasons she could be including a power trip but as I say it won't last well let's hope anyway.

Good your wifes foots on the mend. Must be a relief for you all. She won't know herself soon and in time more rest for you, better sleeping I hope.

It's so incredibly sad hearing of poor people taking their lives through nasty malicious ungrateful people.
Innocent people so often suffer the bad in others. Wrong!
RIP Good People ⚘

It must be a great comfort your lawyer saying that. I hope he has plenty which it sounds he has a few things to throw at her to take her down.

It's you that has to win and you do Farmer every day you get out of bed. She can't win!
Many people would be seeing you as a courageous example.

Easy to suggest though very helpful in hard dark times is keep thinking of anything that has/does give you pleasure dear Farmer.
It gives your mind some positive reinforcement to break the darkness and change the downward spiral of emotional thought.

You're doing amazingly well in bloody horrid circumstances.
Keep going matey. You can and will because you know there's a better life ahead.

Take care Farmer man ☺
You're very welcome btw and thank you 🌿

Sorry for taking so long to reply, their is no mystery as to why she is doing this when she got her phone taken off her she was already hooked her sister who is living with us said her sister told her I will get them back for taking my phone, the sister living with us is doing fantastic at school she will be starting 2 days a week in childcare then moving on to a kindergarten teacher she excepts not having a phone she said they are trouble, but her sister that took off and made up the lies about us and has a mobile phone is struggling at school, some days are so hard for me feels like they will never end then some days are ok I try not to think about the hell she is putting us through, I really do feel sad for the lady that lost her husband through lies, suicide needs to be highlighted more because it’s happening everyday some where in Australia these sort of people need to be held accountable if someone takes their life,I will keep struggling from day to day it’s the best I can do.