Help needed

[Farmer680]

Hi it’s a long story so I will keep it short as possible I am a farmer and also work in a hospital as a cleaner I have worked hard 7 days a week for 35 years, we opened our farm up to foster children so we. could teach them farm life something they would never experience ,we done it for ten years had two in permanent care one is still with us one 16 year old girl done a runner and took off and has made up false allegations against me no charges have been laid yet I went to court 2 months a go I now have to go back in four days I I am so scared can’t sleep properly sever anxiety I have never done a single thing wrong in my life have thought about suicide nearly every day I have even googled the fastest way to die,two people I worked with both committed suicide 4 years a go. I love my family and the foster child that Is still staying with us knows her twin sister is lying, I am so scared I will go to jail for something I didn’t do so suicide really is the only way out for me, who is going to believe a 57 year old man what do I do the stress is so bad it’s effecting my work.

[Ggrand]

Dear Farmer...

Thank you so much for keeping us updated on what’s happening and how your feeling....

It heart warming to hear that your feeling better today...I hope you can enjoy your day today and all the tomorrows..

Talk anytime you feel up to it..

Sitting with you ..with kind thoughts and care..

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Dear Farmer and everyone ☺

Thanks matey for letting us know. Good hearing from you. Have been thinking and hoping it all went well.

Must be hard but also maybe a relief expecting it to be on that day and again put off till later.

I hope you're managing better sleep and so good you're feeling a bit better.

What also really made me happy was hearing you say along the lines of you're not going to give in. You have some serious strength you're accessing there. Keep that momentum up Farmer it's your survival mode kicking in.

Wishing you good outcomes on Dec 1st. That'll give your lawyer some time to build your case.

Lot of thoughts care and support Mr Farmer ☺

🍃

[Farmer680]

Thank you very much everyone but these dark thoughts are hard to get rid of but I am erasing them every time they pop up,but they seem to come back the next day. I will stay strong.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Farmer..

I can relate to ridding ourselves of dark thoughts only to have them pop into our thoughts the next day...

You’re doing a really good job Farmer of erasing them when they start chatting to you...I’m really very proud of you..

When my dark thoughts invade my peace..I will listen to music, sing a long with it..Do some gardening or housework, anything to keep my mind and thoughts occupied on what I’m doing and away from the darkness...They are hard to quieten,,,

Please Farmer remember that you done nothing wrong..those dark thoughts are not warranted at all..they are lying to you....believe in yourself dear Farmer..and try hard not to listen to your thoughts...Cover them over with things you like to do..

My kindest and caring thoughts for you..

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hi Farmer ☺

I too can relate to dark thoughts.
They're the pits and yes they are very persistent.

There's so much to deal with when we're under such high stress as you certainly are.

Not only do we lose a lot of sleep over days weeks and so on which apart from the cause of tremendous pain our emotions go into turmoil and even moreso with depression setting in.

Our minds reaction is desparately wanting to be free of the pain and anguish. Hence dark thoughts.

It doesn't feel like it but we are capable of holding up until they in time start to back off. Especially if you don't think more about them.

She's deeply hurting & affecting all your lives in so many ways. If you acted on the thoughts possibly she'd feel more power like she's won. No dear Farmer don't give that to her!

I urge you not to let her take anymore from you and your family.

Hope to see you later if you're up to talking anytime and that you're finding more strength each day.

Take care. All of you 🌿

[Farmer680]

Thank you very much the dark thoughts are like someone in your head saying do it your not scared to die, then I do everything in my power to try and get rid of them, this garbage has been going on now for 12 months since she started all her lies. we have had hardly any sleep it’s effected us everyday I know she would love nothing better than to destroy us, she had the good farm life for ten years but her phone was more important. Than her family, its just everyday I am nervous scared hardly sleep properly, and I haven’t done a single thing wrong, I need to stay strong my family could never run the farm without me, she is not going to destroy us, I will stay strong for my family and get through this, thank you everyone I will keep in touch.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Farmer..

Thank you for getting back to us with an update..

Farmer...Please don’t give her the chance to destroy you and your family..Stay strong Farmer..and don’t let her win by destroying you...

Your doing the right thing with distracting those dark thoughts...

Do you think talking to your GP or a professional at all..even just for your lack of sleep and your anxiety?...They might be able to help you with meds or help you with talking your concerns out with a professional..Only if you want to...no pressure..

Farmer..I don’t understand how kids today put so much of themselves into their phones..Idk..maybe it was her security blanket..she didn’t feel safe without it..it’s so hard to know what they think...

I hope you can continue to fight those dark thoughts..you’re important and valuable to your family and friends..and to us here...Please take good care of you..

Sending my kindest thoughts with care..

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hi Farmer ☺

Thanks. It's really good hearing from you.
I was thinking same as our lovely Grandy that your GP might be able to help you at least take the edge off anxiety and what a huge relief when we start getting more sleep which is our main strength I believe.

I certainly understand why you're thinking ahead about the farm.
Seriously hoping you won't need to but I'm wondering is it possible to organise some help.
You've helped a lot of people maybe they'd be happy to lend a hand if they can.

A good way of releasing some stress Farmer is if you'd be up to some physical excercise.
I imagine you're pretty busy with the hobby farm and know you're tired no doubt mentally and physically. Surprisingly exercise creates energy. Could be we need it to move.

Walkings good and it doesn't have to be fast or a particularly long one until or if you want too. That's up to you.

If you did perhaps it'd be good going somewhere different to stimulate the senses with new surroundings.
It's stimulating looking around at trees houses grass hearing bird song etc which isn't only nice but clears the head for a while. It's more affective by focusing on the walk and what you see hear etc.

You really are doing very well staying strong. Keep at it matey it's hard work I know but worth it.

Everytime your thoughts say go...reply with NO!... then not only to avoid thinking further on it you can change the direction to why you want to live which stops the negatives even temporarily's a break.

I hope you're all having at least some moments where you can smile and hold hope for a better future beyond this.
My heart goes out to you all Farmer 💗

🌿

[Farmer680]

Thank you it’s been so hard last few days, I work 4 hours a night in a hospital cleaning as well as run my farm during the day, this girl who has made up the lies about me, and other lies about my family has been hanging around my work with someone else she has a intervention order against us she shouldn’t even be near my work my wife emailed the police the direct email address they never reply back and never hear from them. It’s getting g me down you help people all your life and this happens.i might go and talk to someone as we have RU OK at work, the dark thoughts are coming more often I am trying my hardest to beat them.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Farmer..

Thank you for keeping us updated...

I hope you managed to talk to someone at work today..

Its a bit worrying the she is hanging around your work, especially with another person....Please be very careful and if possible don’t be on your own when she is around...I mean she lies, and has another “witness” with her..if she decides to “set you up”...I feel it’s extremely important that you’re not alone and no where near her/them...

Farmer if your at work and you see her..please can you immediately call the police, instead of emailing them...If she is breaking the intervention order she is breaking the law....

I can understand about helping people and they turn on you...It hurts so much..You have done no wrong Farmer...You gave her a home, family, care, clothes, schooling etc..

When those thoughts come..keep trying to distract them as best as you can..We are here for you...with care...

Talk anytime you feel up to it....Wishing you....all the best wishes I can..

Kind thoughts with care..

Grandy..