Hi Lena
My heart goes out to you as you continue to witness the cruelty and sadness that can come about in this world. While sensitivity to feeling so much for others can be a gift, it can also feel like a deeply depressing curse. The more deeply you feel for others, the more you can suffer.
It may sound like a strange question but if you were given the choice when it comes to which aspect of yourself you wish to let go of or wish to let die off, which aspect would it be? For myself, I've let go of the part of me which felt the compulsion to watch the news. Having just about anything to do with the media is a massive trigger for me. There are times where I just can't tolerate it, it's just too depressing and/or stressful. I actually have people in my life who filter it for me before reporting to me of anything significant.
While the media loves to report of atrocities overseas or even in Australia, typically these reports are about things we can do little or nothing about. This brings a sense of helplessness and hopelessness into our lives. You could say the media leads us to feel helpless, time and time again. This can be incredibly depressing. Even the hourly or half hourly new breaks that flash on the screen remind us of others' sufferance and our sense of helplessness. So, if you were to watch tv for 5 hours, you could be reminded anywhere up to 10 times. A financial investment in connecting to Netflix or Stan, for example, could be considered a wise investment for mental health.
Sometimes there are things we can do something about yet we may choose to be a bystander instead, simply observing. In this case, the part of us that is the bystander may need to die off. In it's place the upstander is born or comes to life.
I've found, over the years, I am always being challenged to let go of parts of myself, let parts of myself die off. It can definitely feel impossible to work out which parts at times. I've found, a lot of the time it's a part of me that's leading me to suffer most. During my years in depression I was convinced I had no purpose in life. In the years that followed my depression, as I allowed parts of me to die off, I began to feel my reason for being.
You are here in this world for a reason Lena 🙂
