Hate this.

[Rothman]

Hey.. need advice. 28 (nearly 29) yo f.

Been self harming, not eating, depressed for.. damn.. 18years now.

Cant go to gp alone, boyfriend says "go ahead off self if that selfish"

Cant hospital.. ambo/cop (will get family evicted.. already happened twice lol)

Social anxiety, phone phobias, no webcams.. what.. do i.. its everyday now and no one cares?

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Rothman,

You're a champ - okay, you made the inquiry and you got a response. Didn't give you any sensible advice though, but you took the initiative and that's a good start.

And you are still sure boyfriend won't help you out?

And workmates is out of the question as you explained - not a single someone to lend a hand there? I know how you are treated, but that may encourage someone to step up for you and take/call GP. Could you ask? (would take a lot of courage).

'On the spot' appointment is the best option because I think you can wait outside/in your car (and could send someone else in to register) - you will need to be brave to get the help you need.

I know the online services are all packed out with covid restrictions, but don't be disheartened - I think you are on the right track.

Regards

t.

[Rothman]

Hey tranzcrybe
Thankyou for replying!

Boyfriend is kind of "i work a lot, i cant take time off to help you.. either be a coward and off yaself or help yaself" so no, i don't think he will. ive stopped asking, it stressed him out?

Ive asked coworkers if they could just take me to gp, since they know my situation etc. and they pretty much told me to go away..

i dont have a car and no motivation to walk up alone.. i honestly think everyone thinks im lying. "if she was that bad, shes go herself.. if she was that bad, shes be dead, if she was that bad etc etc" i gotta brave up!

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Rothman again,

I only just saw your first post for today (don't know how that's possible - I think it came through after the second one?).

"he gives me $20 here or there, but it just doesnt add up"

Anyway, it's good that there is a contribution for living expenses... of sorts. You may find it helpful (and annoying) to keep receipts and a ledger to make sure you are not out of pocket - especially on the disproportionate milk cost (my dad is the same with bread - 3 loaves every couple of days...)

"im bored living here. make an effort"

- yes, not good enough that you do all the work (lol), but you are expected to be his entertainment committee as well (I also get that). Apart from covid shutdowns, does he have a social outlet - senior citizens, men's group, recreation/clubs? This can be good for all as it frees up your time to do what you want.

"when i brought up the fact that he could move out..."

Covid has disrupted so many things and nothing can get done (but keep planning).

"what i call a two year old with very obscene tourettes hissi fit'

Ha, we should get our dad's together - it would be hilarious!

Change will not be instantaneous - keep at it.

Regards,

t.

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Rothman,

Of course I reply - I want you to feel better and enjoy your life again.

Okay, boyfriend is a no go - sad, but no point flogging it if he is unmoved.

Workmates neither - pity, any chance of a Workcover stress related claim?? (it might encourage the boss to offer some 'consideration' to see you receive the help you deserve - workplace bullying is a serious oversight by management...).

"if you were that bad, you would be asking for help" - and you are. I don't think you are lying and neither will your GP - there are many stresses in your life right now and that is just cause to seek treatment. I hope you can see the value in taking that scary step to start you on the journey to recovery and talk through all your issues.

Regards,

t.

[geoff]

Hello Rothman, 'if she was that bad, shes go herself', it doesn't work like that unless there is an underlying urge that pushes you into doing it.

Your boyfriend could take half a day off work, I'm sure that's what he would be doing if he had to see his doctor.

Tranzcrybe has been doing a great job keeping up with you.

I have to read through all the comments first.

Geoff.

[Rothman]

@tranzcrybe

@geoff

I reached out to someone new. They offered to take me to gp.

I said no thanks and blocked them.

What the hell is wrong with me?

[tranzcrybe]

Doh! Rothman,

I'm still very proud of you -you reached out and found support (in real life!).

Okay, now we need to work on your 'follow through' skills...

Don't be disheartened - you did it once, you can always change your mind and ask again.

Well done, you are trying.

Regards,

t.

[Rothman]

@tranzcrybe

I think I freaked out this time because she said yes?

I've asked 4 coworkers, 1coworkers dad, my father, my boyfriend for.. months.

They all said off yourself or help yourself. We won't help...

Someone said yes I freaked?

I'm so scared they'll commit me. I'm so messed up so I cant try?

[tranzcrybe]

Hi Rothman,

I can see how that would have been quite a shock - people want to help?... Me???

Yes, strange but true. You won't know who your friends are until to you give a little of yourself, and you did.

Since you are instigating the appointment, you are showing maturity and awareness to resolve your issues - not likely to be 'committed' for that. Important to be honest with your feelings and speak from the heart. With enough information, your GP can make a referral.

You have had bad experiences in the past and I can see how that can scare you. I think this could only apply if you gave the impression that you were a risk to yourself - so focus on the task ahead. They are there for you, Rothman, but you still have to give of yourself just a little at first...

Do try again - explain what you just told me, your new friend will understand. Either way, don't give up - I haven't, so you're not allowed to either! lol

Best wishes,

t.

[tranzcrybe]

... I don't know what relevance this has, but I just feel compelled to share with you:-

Last December, it was a really hot afternoon - muggy, hot wind, yuk. I took a stroll up to the local supermarket and bought a box of icy poles (mostly because my dad was climbing the walls and he needed to get out as well). We sat outside under a tree, chomping away, and I noticed a very sad girl sitting some yards away who had clearly suffered some emotional trauma.

So I simply asked if she would also like an icy pole - "No!" Oops, probably not the right thing to do, huh?

I continued to natter away to my dad and it wasn't too much later that the sad girl came over and said that she would like an icy pole after all. Did I respond "You missed your chance, too bad"? No, I was so delighted that she went to the trouble to try again - placing faith in me that I would not be offended, and I certainly was not.

It takes so much more courage to make the move than to accept the offer, and I went home feeling so much better for it. I never knew what was bothering her that day, but I hope the 5 minutes of icy goodness helped her see things in a new light and maybe change her view of the world just a little bit...

-t.