Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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My dealings with the health system, is it tailored more for female support? Trigger warning - suicidal thoughts

replies: 17

Hi there, I wasn’t sure which forum to post this on, I haven't frequented the forums for quite some time. I went through a couple of years of severe anxiety and depression some years back, and had support on here at the time. I've been muddling along ok since, with occasional times with mild A&D. I find as I'm getting older, my medical support needs are increasing too. (I'm a 60 male, long time divorced and recently retired, living on my own in a regional area). I’ve always had considerable trouble with finding a GP who is willing to give me the focus needed to address my medical concerns. It’s been more than 30 years since I’ve had one I could call, “my GP”. I know there is a stereotype of males choosing to ignore health issues, but I’ve never been like that…quite the opposite, if only I could get the attention of the health system like I see the women I know, expect. I’ve started to get annoyed, and feeling like I have to wait until it is serious enough that I won’t be disregarded for people who are really sick. Whenever I’ve mentioned the topic to people I know, they think I’m being defeatist, but I point out that I’m only feeling that way from my own experiences over the years. I’ve been told to just stand up and “insist” I get some attention. Apart from not being able to do that, I am also conscious these days that with the security issues in hospitals and clinics, that as a male, my insistence may be taken the wrong way, so I just accept it, as I am so afraid of the slightest verbal conflict. I fear I may just become another failed statistic of the health system. I'm a male who is historically a bit short on assertiveness, and with all the media attention on how bad men are to women as a general rule, find it hard to reconcile with myself that I even belong in this world now, just because of my gender. I’m probably being irrational about it, but I haven’t been able to invalidate those feelings in the highly charged social atmosphere these days, and increasingly my already lack of assertiveness when seeking medical support is amplifying this. I’ve talked to men who acknowledge they are taken more seriously when visiting the GP with the support of their female partners. My last severe anxiety attack was actually brought on by my dealings with the health system, and seems as if when I really need the support it in fact, makes things worse. I don’t really know what to do, as the very suggestion “to seek professional advice” causes me great anxiety!

How long will this last, I've done everything suggested...

replies: 3

Hi, This episode of depression is now a little more than 18 months long and I'm back at the point where I'm preoccupied with suicide. I have a psychiatrist and physiologist (and have had ones since my first episode 15 years ago - this is my third and by far, longest). I'm in and out of hospital and have had so much ECT that it's a wonder I even remember my own name. ECT, while a life saver, has cost me two PhD attempts. I haven't been able to work and I'm very lucky to still have a job to go back too, at the moment. You can imagine the number of anti-depressants I've tried. I'm left wondering how much longer can this episode last? How much longer am I going to be a burden to others, waste their time and resources? Is there really any point to keep trying?

Hi. New and nervous.

replies: 3

Hello. I’ve never acted in an environment like this so I hope I come across okay. I’ve been struggling with depressing thoughts and feelings for 3+ years now. I’m in my early 30’s and a father/husband, but I’m scared to let anyone know what’s really going on. I’ve thought about talking to a doctor but I always talk my self out of it with something like “no, I’ll be okay. I can make it go away” sort of attitude. But it never goes. Sometimes I’ll have a week of “peace” but that will often stop with nights like tonight. Where all my thoughts are screaming at me about how useless I am, or I’ll cry while I’m alone and the house sleeps.... And I’ll have really bad thoughts like “is it a big deal if I’m gone?” So far the thought of my wife and kids finding that has always made those thoughts go a little quiet, but I’m scared one day it won’t be enough. But I’m terrified to tell anyone. I don’t know what to do anymore. MAlert

Veteran with Complex PTSD,MDD,GAD seriously needing help

replies: 17

Hello Everyone, I would like to apologize in advance if I say anything wrong here as I have never written in a forum before and this is coming out of desperation. I am ex military living with severe service related mental health issues and I am constantly being triggered by my neighbours, my street, my estate, my local council and police. I own my home and decided to settle down after years of postings all around australia. Before my home was built I had my new neighbours prying into our lives and being Military we have been very private people and we closed off from these new neighbours upon moving in as they would be at our doorstep before I could open the door to my car upon coming home. Since then they have now become our bullies and not only have they turned the whole street against us, they have turned the whole neighbourhood including the developers against us. We constantly receive complaints from our local council from these people, we constantly have the police at our house. I have been threatened to be raped, killed, had my property damaged, spat on, property stolen, called all names under the sun which has all been caught on our cameras with full audio and shown to QLD police who turned it all back on me and told me I was the crazy one and I needed to go to the psychiatric ward as I was hysterically upset and triggered by my military experiences. No matter what I do I am constantly harrassed and bullied to the point where I severely hurt myself to escape. We have built fences, put up signs to leave us alone, we keep to ourselves and all I need to get better is a safe zone which I dont have and havent had for the three years living here. I am trapped and have no way out!! I am constantly living in fear and reliving the trauma I endured with my military career. I dont know what else to do, we cant afford to sell or rent, DVA dont care!! Please help me!!!

Hi... I'm new to seeking help

replies: 3

I'm 36. I have bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm medicated for both. I have 3 kids and a loving partner, however I am the sole income provider. I do this now because I know I have the most earning potential between us, but if things went really bad, I don't know how we'd pay the bills. My son died in 2013, so I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread... But what I'd really like is to say "I can't do this anymore" and it eventuate in me not having to be the income provider, or if I just ended my life, because my children would still have their biological parents to go to. (No kids by my current partner, but we've been together since the baby was 2.

Trigger warning, suicidal

replies: 4

Hey there, I have been struggling on and off with long spouts of depression for a long time. I have a lot of people that care about me, and it makes me just feel really guilty for wanting to end my life. My mum brought a house with me with my father’s inheritance and is working on buying another house and if I kill myself now I know she will have to leave work, she also struggles with depression and I worry it might trigger her to kill herself and then my brothers will have to deal with everything. I do believe if she could keep living it would actually be better for everyone in the long run, they could keep the house for instance or use the money from it to cover my costs. That wouldn’t be so bad. I don’t want to be a further burden on them but this is what I need. I can’t keep acting through this life. I have been thinking of ways I could commit suicide that look accidental, I just don’t know. I know everyone is going to say there is a way to feel better but is it really so bad that I don’t want that? I have been isolating myself to make it easier, so people are used to me being gone. I guess the scariest thing is I don’t want to fail and end up a vegetable and they won’t kill me even though it’s my choice

Don't know how much longer I can put up with this

replies: 6

Isolation was so much better than this. I moved in with my family at the beginning of this week when I got out of mandatory isolation and so far I've had to see my racist bigotted transphobic brother twice, my dad has called me a failure, ugly and stupid pretty much every day and keeps pressuring me like "what are your plans what are you doing" like, I got here 6 days ago, my stuff hasn't even arrived at the house yet, can you chill? I have just been in a house with abusive housmates for 2 years, and then spent half a year locked inside with them because of covid where the bullying escalated. I'm not ready, I have told him this, he laughed at me. I wore a mask to the shops and told me I looked like a *swear word* and laughed at me and basically bullied me for it. I'm just trying to feel comfortable and now I can't wear a mask anywhere because it makes me want to cry because of the things he said to me so now I have to be uncomfortable and unsafe. It's stupid. He is pressuring me to look for work when again, I literally just got here. Hell, I don't even have a windows computer to send my resume yet because again, my stuff isn't here yet. I am paying substantial rent, like not that much less than I was paying before, yet somehow my family can dictate what I have to do. I can't text while the TV is on, I can't stay in my room, I can't go out for lunch, I can't do anything. I feel trapped and I literally hate it here. I ran away from my family for a reason and the fact that lack of money is what brought me back is so crushing and my depression is perhaps worse than it has ever been. I'm lost and confused, and my family doesn't understand mental illness so they just think I am a lazy teenager and keep pushing and pushing and pushing and I'm already almost at my breaking point after literally 6 days. I'm sick of being bullied, talked down on and pushed around literally everywhere I go. I just want to run away and move cities/countries but I don't have money. Money is the bane of my freaking existance. My brother and my dad are the same, they say biggotted borderline masoganistic shit to me as a "joke" but it's not funny and it's really hurtful and already makes me feel worse about myself than I already do, which I didn't think was possible. I can't be here.....

Ending a relationship

replies: 3

In the last 3 years ive lost my mother to cancer, I’ve had breast cancer, a frozen shoulder, chronic lymphodema, my youngest child has ADHD and oppositional defiance Disorder and amongst this my so called husband and have not had a sexual relationship in 7 years. He says I am angry and bitter and that’s why he’s no longer attracted to me but maybe I am) but on top of everything that has happened as well as suffering from severe depression I feel quite disliked and rejected as a woman and feel like he treats me like one of the children. I’m so lost between the cancer and the sexual rejection that I don’t know what to think. Part of me feels like I deserve an adulr relationship and part of me thinks I should end it all as clearly I’m a horrible person.

Help

replies: 3

I have been suffering from depression, anxiety, PTSD and social anxiety all clinical level along with suspected autism for a long time, including suicidal tendencies. I hate social gatherings and I have been dragged to my father's friends place for new years. They then began to lecture me about what I am doing next year and telling me I was stupid for doing this and I should be doing x and y instead. I have serious mental hurdles with people controlling me due to abuse in the past and I just want to finally be able to make my own decisions due to getting away from my abuser. I started crying and am seriously struggling in this random house surrounded by people I don't know, and I have begun my normal self harm while sitting in a corner. I'm upset, I don't know these people, and I want to go home but I can't because dad drove in his car. I know dad will also yell at me for "embarrassing me in front of his friends" when it was then attacking me when my body language was clearly saying stop. I don't want to be alive and I'm sick of everyone. Noone understands mental illness and I'm just so sick of everything. I dont want to be here and I just want to run away. It's new years, and this is just showing me next year is gonna be as trashouse and I can't last through another year of this. I don't know what to do.

TPD psychiatric illness

replies: 2

Hi all I’m after anyone who has experienced claiming a TPD for a psychiatric injury. I’ve been off work almost 12 months and now on Workcover after having appealed my claim due to it being rejected the first time even though IME report proved work was the significant cause. I did claim income protection for a few months at first until my appeal had gone through and was approved in my favour after 6 months. I’m seeing my psyc fortnightly and GP and on medication. I suffer severe depression and anxiety from what had happened to me by my employer. My mood is severely low and think about suicide most days. I’ve denied this to my GP and psyc as I’m scared they will admit me and tell my family. I’m 40 years old and I can barley leave the house on my own. My TPD is worth over $700k. I did email my super case manager a few months ago about TPD process and they emailed me back a fact sheet etc. I know at this stage I’m in no position to return to any employment and Workcover ends end of 2021. Had anyone else gone through something similar? Everyday is a struggle and I can’t get over what my ex employer did. I was a highly successful earning big $$$ and this has totally destroyed me and my confidence. My career was ripped from me.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

My dealings with the health system, is it tailored more for female support? *Trigger warning - suicidal thoughts* replies: 17

How long will this last, I've done everything suggested... replies: 3

Hi. New and nervous. replies: 3

Veteran with Complex PTSD,MDD,GAD seriously needing help replies: 17

Hi... I'm new to seeking help replies: 3

Trigger warning, suicidal replies: 4

Don't know how much longer I can put up with this replies: 6

Ending a relationship replies: 3

Help replies: 3

TPD psychiatric illness replies: 2