Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Hi

replies: 4

My name is Ninox because I think I am at least 50% owl. I have had mental health issues for decades but I'm here now because my sister is suicidal. I have been suicidal myself and lost friends and family to suicide. For the last few years I've been doing better than ever, able to work full time and manage anxiety without it wreaking havoc like it used to. This comes after being on DSP for 15 years and never thinking I could work full time again. Anyway it seems like now that things are going well for me, everyone else in my family is falling apart. So I'm looking for some strategies to help cope with what's happening without it bringing me undone as well.

Changing medication and suicide thoughts

replies: 3

Besides self calm and mindfulness any other tips for those dark thoughts when changing medications?

Don’t know if this is good or bad

replies: 50

Hi, so a while ago I was feeling really how do I describe this? down in the dumps. Last several months including last year . So um I still have these thoughts and all and I’m still irritated 24/7 to the point where ppl asks why I’m always mad. How do I tell them I’m not and I don’t know why I’m feeling this way either? I still have mini panic attacks and feel like disappearing every time... Everyone still assumes that I’m okay and I’ve got everything figured out but why couldn’t they see (I mean of course they can’t see) that I can’t sleep, and stay up till 1-3 trying to sleep because of all these thoughts and trying to figure out how I wouldn’t disappoint them or let them down why am I expected to know everything. Like I’m not some superhuman or anything. So yeah... that’s basically it I don’t know if it’s good or bad. If it is on a scale of one to ten on it being bad ten being the worst how bad is it.

How do you cope when you're on the edge of suicide?

replies: 5

To summarise my thoughts, I don't want to commit suicide, but I don't want to do anything else, either. Mentally speaking, I am already kind of dead. I have given up, or at least it feels that way. I have been getting my head around a very difficult heartbreak. It happened two years ago, but I have not met anyone since. I hate it when I say this, because I can immediately feel the judgement, but we were never together. I have never been in a relationship before. I thought of her as a friend, and she knew how I felt, but she abandoned me. So I have had my heart broken, but I have nothing positive to show for what I've been through. I have no friends either. It is unbearably painful watching other people's love stories unfold around me. I didn't care about relationships until I got Depression. Now I NEED help. People say that you should be happy by yourself, but I am battling myself every single day. I can't rely on myself. Everyone around me is having sex with each other, and the best I can do is convince myself that I'll never need anyone? What does that say about me? I don't want to live a life without love for much longer, but I don't even know if a relationship is going to be worth it. It's going to take a LONG time to meet someone, and even then, what's the point? These last two years, and being broken in childhood, have taught me everything I need to know about how "worthy" I am. Obviously I am not meant to be here. Every argument to stay sounds very unconvincing to me. Every second I stay hurts me. Even being happy doesn't mean anything, because it doesn't make me any less alone. Who's going to care if I'm happy? This is the closest I can come to suicide, but I cannot commit suicide. I feel completely stuck.

Suicidal? how to survive this difficult time

replies: 0

Anyone that has had plans/actions of a suicidal nature is an expert of that dark road journey. So much so in my case in 1996, I swore I'd never return to it. Apart from the ramifications to family and friends whom we have no intention of hurting, we risk hurt to ourselves sometimes lifelong. We've had more than one member here post details of their lifelong physical suffering for an act that left them injured. An important point here is that we emotional humans usually reflect on our recent past and say "what was I thinking"? This is due to getting past an episode of negative and self destructional thinking to return to our normal selves. This is the first suggestion I'm making Accept that this dark period is temporary and the sun will rise again. Such swings will always swing back. Do think of family and friends and the hurt they will endure. Radical change- do ANYTHING to avoid suicidal thoughts. This could mean resigning from a job regardless of its consequences, travelling, leaving a relationship or ringing for help (Lifeline or Beyondblue 1300 22 46 36)- think outside the box. The dark road has escape exits Time out- delay your thoughts. Give yourself a chance. Refocus on the beauty of life perhaps you've forgotten about. Some examples of the above. The last thought I hd before I abandoned my attempt was my dad once saying to me "better being a great part time dad than no dad at all" An acquaintance that was gay deciding to come out rather than to continue down that road. He has a strong band of supportive friends now. A relative that found humans too emotionally destructive to her now rescues abandoned animals, nurses them then finds new homes. A hitchhiker I picked up in 1977 was clearly self destructive after his marriage failed. He had a baby son. He went on to become a cook on a sheep station and remarried. His son is now 44yo and joined him on the station at 18yo. In my case I left my narcissistic wife one week later. I pleaded with her to stop her silence treatment that had continued for the full 11 years after our wedding. Silence as a weapon is a form of narcissism (as opposed to not using it as a weapon). She blew a smoke ring in my face. I knew it was over. I took some time to recovery (good idea) built my own home for distraction., Most important- accepted that these things happen. Regain your strength, dont allow tyrants to win, be radical if it can save you and above all have faith in your own beauty and uniqueness. TonyWK

Losing control and worn down

replies: 1

Im 29, American born (been here 13 years), and have been trying to get into the arts 8ndustry for a long time. I started uni in 2019 to learn technical production and its been absolute hell. I don't have any friends, there are more than a few of my coworkers who don't even know my name. Ive been struggling with depression for a really long time now and the amount of ostracism I keep going through at uni is making everything harder to cope with. Nobody is close to my age, none of them ever include me or talk to me and I keep trying to tell myself they are only teenagers bit it still hurts so badly to be purposefully excluded so much. I learned on a volunteer show that my upperclassmen never had any intention of giving me a role that I wanted because my "behaviour" was "not going to be rewarded". Ive overheard conversations saying im a "downer" and that im not "fun" to be around. Its really hard being back at uni when im so old, and not being able to rely on any of my peers for anything including academic support is so draining. I feel like a complete failure all the time, and its impossible to imagine a future that has any kind of fulfilment. Things have been really hard lately and im just so sad and worm down all the time. It feels like im going to slip into something im going to regret at any moment.

I just can't handle the lethargy, insomnia and social isolation

replies: 5

I am 21M, with ADHD, social anxiety and depression. I have a habit of socially isolating myself for very extended periods of time as I never learnt how to develop meaningful relationships after moving country at 13 and never feeling very close to anyone in my family. I graduated highschool in 2016 with an underwhelming ATAR after getting diagnosed with CFS in year 12. Through 2017-2018 I smoked weed daily to cope with the intense suicidal thoughts that I couldn't deal with anymore. I was also finally diagnosed with depression in late 2017, have been prescribed a plethora of ineffective antidepressants and was finally diagnosed with ADHD in late 2019. I'm on two different medications at the moment which have been effective. This year was really important for me. After discontinuing every semester at uni since enrolling in 2017, due to not being able to study, I was really trying to attend university this year. The classes and study didn't matter, but I have been so socially isolated over the majority of my life (even from 13-17 I never did anything outside of school and would just stare out of the window dead inside), and thus actually physically attending university and trying to interact with people was meant to be my step up out of the hole I've dug myself in. Now I have found myself in quite a rut. Although it is not as bad as I got earlier this year, especially with the gyms closing as strength training is my only activity that calms me down and allows me to work for something (I also can't run because of flat feet), I am just failing to keep moving. I feel myself physically shut down in the middle of the day, in a workout, anything. I have postponed exams in a week that I have yet to even learn the course for (one of which is from last semester), and I can't sleep. I can't focus, when I go to the gym I am exhausted and never manage to make any progress on my lifts. Along with the insane loneliness and inability to socialize following so many years without meaningful interaction, I just can't study and I can't manage my ADHD. I have started taking more of my medication to mitigate matters, but I think they just make things worse. I am just so sad and lonely all the time. I recently began to fantasize about a pact from years ago to kill myself if things don't improve. It's been a while since I passionately looked forward to death, and I just feel so stuck again without productivity and succumbing to rumination.

Not the sort of person who would post here

replies: 4

Hey, If you knew me personally then you would know that I am not the sort of person who would contribute to a forum like this.... sounds bad but is the truth. Kinda getting to the point where I just don't know what to do (understanding that statement is pretty vague). I don't know if I am am having suicidal thoughts or not, I just know that I'm tired and I don't want to keep going on... think its kind of like if I were in an accident, it would be doing me a favour, which has been like this for months; but now I feel like the opertunity has not presented itself for it to happen naturally.... and I'm still tired Man its hard not to slap myself across the face and delete this post Im not going to bore anyone with my story, am enough of a burden as it is. Essentially though I've been dealing with PTSD from working in public safety (fatalities that involved friends of mine that I wasn't aware of until I saw them in the line of work). This has resulted in, and I don't mean to row my own boat here, a very strong minded "rock of a person" ( I've been called before), being turned into a crumbling mess and embarrassing themself on a suicide forum. A friend recently committed suicide and it brings home that as bad as it is, suicide is an option. Im not saying that O agree with it, I just mean that it plays consistently through my mind that he chose that option, and after stalking his Facebook profile, it is flooded with well wishes and grief, and contrary to popular belief, it didn't appear from the social aspect of people remembering him that anyone is mad with the decision that he chose.... Wow, what a babbling mess, im going to post this thread before I delete it, maybe someone can understand what I'm trying to say..... or not... I honestly don't know what I am doing here, nor what I am asking

What do you do when a friend is so dependent that it's crushing you?

replies: 12

About three years ago, I noticed that an online acquaintance on the Xbox was struggling mentally so I reached out. Soon enough we were talking everyday on Messenger, in party chat or playing together. I started visiting him in QLD, he started visiting me in NSW. For all intents and purposes he was the closest friend I'd ever had. About a year ago, he started exhibiting signs of intense jealousy and paranoia. Keeping tabs on me through game trackers, watching my activity, waiting until I was playing with other friends to start fights. He demands attention, so I have to stop what I'm doing to give it to him or I come back to 20 messages which can range from insulting and berating me to threatening self harm or suicide. The insults are along the lines of that I don't care about him at all, I'm a bad friend, all I do is lie and make excuses for myself, I'm replacing him. He latches on to simple semantics and will fight with me about it for hours. For example, I once told him I was just doing one more thing with another friend then I'll wrap things up to play with him. He timed me, then lambasted me with accusations as to why that thing took so long and why would I tell him I was wrapping things up if I wasn't. I'm not oblivious, he's emotionally abusive and manipulative. I am his doormat. I in no way blame myself for anything he puts on me and I have made him aware that he manipulates and tries to control me through negative conditioning. We've had good talks about this and I know he actually cares for me, I've seen progress in his actions. He can be reasonable when he calms down, but when his emotions are getting the best of him I could be dying and his problems would still take precedence. No amount of reasoning and evidence will convince him that he's the problem, he will always play the victim. I was already coping with several mental illnesses and a self-harm addiction, now with his unhealthy dependency on me I'm drowning. It's not as simple as blocking him because we share friends and he knows where I live. I don't even WANT to avoid him, I just want him to wake up to himself and be the friend I had for those two years. I've urged him to get professional medical help, but he refuses. I want out of this situation some way, it's steadily declining my mental and physical health. But I've never been good at putting my own needs first. My walking away would mean more suicide threats, and I could not live with myself if he went through with it.

Older people

replies: 4

I am older but not yet old. Am I the only one of my age who feels flat, dead inside, that living is just hard work?

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Hi replies: 4

Changing medication and suicide thoughts replies: 3

Don’t know if this is good or bad replies: 50

How do you cope when you're on the edge of suicide? replies: 5

Suicidal? how to survive this difficult time replies: 0

Losing control and worn down replies: 1

I just can't handle the lethargy, insomnia and social isolation replies: 5

Not the sort of person who would post here replies: 4

What do you do when a friend is so dependent that it's crushing you? replies: 12

Older people replies: 4