Willpower- where is yours?

[white knight]

Bare with me here.

At 17yo having joined the RAAF I was overweight, unfit and just a boy. I found running long distance very hard especially while carrying lots of weight with equipment.

During long marches there was running in a troop situation. You were required to maintain your location in that troop...no matter what.

Eventually, feeling exhausted I'd fall drop to the back of the troop where my corporal would yell at me and threaten that if I didnt get back to the front I'd fail. Fail meant likely discharge. I'd sprint up the front and stay running there until I dropped back again.

I passed the course but had my corporal not yelled in my ear I would not have ran half that far. I would have given up. Such was my lack of willpower. Obviously I had the physical ability, not the mental determination/strength to carry out my obligations.

As adults with a mental disorder we are less likely to have a disciplinarian yelling over our shoulder to "get out of bed..NOW! So the easier thing to do- stay in bed.

We are fragile people. We know and accept this. We dont like it, but that's the way it is. However if we acknowledge such shortcomings we are half way towards achieving a goal- to break our mental shackles and challenge ourselves beyond any limits we have ever had before.

What might be required is a mentor figure that can tactfully pressure us to take the harder road. Or, for us to develop a plan to gather such strength or change of attitude to achieve the goals we need to implement to improve our daily lives.

How do we do this? If doing it alone, we can attend motivation lectures, probe methods to develop positive thinking techniques, enter a new phase of self change and read up on stories of amazing courage by famous people (eg Shackleton, Mandela etc that succeeded against all odds)

If you have a willing and loving partner that is tactful, you can include him/her in your plans. You wouldnt want a disciplinarian yelling at you but some firm insistance could be the prompting you need. Just refrain from getting angry at them doing what you've endorsed them to do.

You greatest tool with this challenge is honesty with yourself, to recognise your need to be more motivated.

Enjoy your new journey of finding your willpower...it's there hiding...but it is there.

TonyWK

[therising]

Hi Tony

You are such a beautiful inspiring person!

The willpower issue has been playing on my mind a lot lately, more than anything else, as there are several things that need my attention when it comes to change. You're spot on with the honesty aspect. With thanks to you, I will try approaching my motives for change with greater honesty.

Take care and thanks again for sharing your words of enlightenment. There is nothing quite like a journey taken on a path that is well lit

[blondguy]

Hi TonyWK

therising is spot on.....you are a very inspirational person Tony

As you said in your thread....I think my willpower is hiding...like many of us I suppose

Cigarettes have always been a problem for my willpower. Yet I have reduced my intake from 40/day to 10/day and I feel better for doing so too...One small step for me...and nearly there 🙂

This is hard for me to post as I am well aware of benefits of quitting and the damage that cigarettes can do and am so tired of being criticised and lectured for my lack of willpower on this legal product

I just wish the federal government would subsidize the cost of the patches that can help us quit. I have a feeling that wont happen as the tax collected from tobacco goes straight into consolidated revenue....doh!

Two years ago the tax collected from cigarettes was nearly $13 Billion dollars....more now unfortunately

I am still trying to find the rest of my willpower....and will!

another excellent thread topic Tony and thankyou

Paul

[white knight]

Thankyou - the rising.

You are quite a regular now and likewise I love your input. Also love your last line.

Quotes work for me. I like to improve quotes so they sink in to. Like with your quote " There is nothing quite like a journey taken on a path that is well lit" I would add "...and if I make my own labour intensive candle to light that path I'll walk faster as I'll value more the light it emits"

Videos can also be inspiring. Like- Youtube ptem rawat the perfect instrument

An example of appreciating.

Blondeguy

Paul, I know what you mean with giving up the cigs. I did smoke- up to 31yo and only gave up when falsely diagnosed with heart attack (had abnormal ecg plus chest pains). It was a panic attack. It took 3 months before a walking stress test proved my heart was strong. In the meantime I'd given up the smokes.

I've found when giving up habits I have to wait till I'm ready as my motivation arrives and leaves like an ocean tide.

When poor in 1993, two toddlers, I bought a tattslotto ticket as I had for many years. My neighbor said "you could have purchased two litres of milk instead". It triggered me in a positive way. Havent bought a ticket since.

An old man I knew said to a friend as my friend said "I'm just going outside for a smoke"...he said"you dont need that smoke". My friend returned in 20 seconds...he'd thrown his full smoke packet in the bin and gave them up at that moment. It was the trigger he needed.

One of the best motivational comments Ive heard was from Kennedy, coach of AFL north Melbourne "dont think, DO". Easier said than done lol

Your moment will come Paul. I have faith in that.

TonyWK

[therising]

Hi Tony

I love the candle aspect.

I can remember watching Prem Rawat on Melbourne's channel 31 some years back; I was a regular viewer of his. Haven't touched base with his wisdom for some time now. I shall give him a look in. Maybe his sage words are exactly what is needed in my life at the moment.

Thanks again for the inspiration

[therising]

Hi Paul

If you don't mind me asking, what methods did/do you use for cutting back on the cigarettes. I'm in need of some ideas as I've reached the point where I have to give the smokes away. Yes, the addict in me says 'I love smoking' but the specialist who diagnosed a blockage in my left leg (from my groin down to my knee) says 'It's time to stop this love affair before it kills you'. It's definitely a crazy and costly habit, hey!

Power to you as you endeavor to reach the zero mark regarding the smokes

[white knight]

Hi the rising

In 1982 I attended a motivation lecture that changed my life. Google

Beyondblue topic 30 minutes can change your life

But a few years alter when in a bipolar depressive period I was told about Maharaji Pre Rawat

Beyondblue topic he helped me for 25 years Maharaji

In that thread there are some referrals to a few of his teachings that I listen to regularly.

Five years ago I broke my leg and subsequently got blood clots one travelled up from my calf to my groin. I was worried as my father and auntie both died from blood clots that made their way to their hearts. So I share your concern. Hopefully Paul has some ideas.

More on "willpower"

I described our inner strength we rarely tap into with utilizing our willpower. What we don't often consider is - reasonable expectations of ourselves based on many factors.

These factors to name a few- environment, employment, family values and expectations, intelligence, endurance and so on. Let me clarify.

What is "reasonable". Well for me it is a "measured amount of something that achieves an outcome with the least ramifications to my life"

Example- About 15 years ago I wanted to get fit. Over the years I tried exercise and frankly there was a flaw in that I would intentionally walk around the block 20 times and as I passed home the 5th time I'd give up and walk inside. So I had a light bulb moment, I'd walk 5km from home which was achievable...then because I was 5km from home I had to walk 5km back- presto, I'd walk 10km a day. I found that easier because initially I'd focus only on the first 5km. My next step was to walk it as fast as I could. If I walked my fastest at 7kph I'd finish the 10km in 1hr 20 minutes. For 3 months I did this and lost weight and felt good. There was one drawback.

See, that amount of walking and stress on my legs particularly my calves was too much and my body began to break down. This set off my fragile mental state and I got home one day from a walk and collapsed on the floor traumatized.

For the first time it dawned on me that my regime wasn't "reasonable"...it was unreasonable, too extreme.

We have to find that balance- google

Beyondblue topic the balance of our lives

Such a balance with everything we do is the wisest way to live.

TonyWK

TonyWK

[therising]

Hi Tony

Thank you so much for your encouragement and insight, much appreciated. I will definitely look into all that you've recommended.

Take care

[white knight]

Hi all,

I'd like to explain some limitations in general for the mentally unwell.

Some have acknowledged my inspiring attitude and that's nice and I'm grateful. I do, however, have limits that aren't apparent on this forum, that I don't as a rule express as, well... I don't dwell on them but they are extreme issues and worthy of a mention on this thread.

Stress. Today my wife had a Doctors appointment. She left and reunited with me where we had coffee outside a café. She was disappointed that her doctor questioned a physical diagnosis that happened 12 years ago and as it was made interstate, her doctor treated it as if she hadn't been diagnosed as there was no written history.

As my wife explained word for word what was said in the doctors rooms she became more and more upset and raised her voice as we dined. Statements like "why didn't she ask this"? Why didn't she ring the other surgery"? and so forth. Men are so logical and all I could think of was 2 remedies- 1/ attend another older, more experienced doctor I recommended and 2/ get up to date x-rays with the same or worsened diagnosis for the physical injury and return to the older doctor for further treatment- eg discount her appointment experience and try again a different way with a different doctor- after all they are human and do make errors sometimes. The frustration she was enduring was causing me stress. This is my downfall- inability to just be a listener...I have to fix it all.

Beyondblue topic running around trying to save the world (google)

Once we got home we settled ourselves over a drink and all is well but for this thread it highlighted that it matters not (sometimes) how positive you are not how much willpower you can accumulate when it comes to mental illness (or even those without) we can be but mere mortals and such drive can be ineffective. We should allow for the fact that armed with all the answers we might not pass the exam!

The thing is- it is the bounce back that you reach for your supplies of will power to recover. That is the difference in having a foundation of determination that exceeds all history of your mental strength to - just recovering until time has passed and you are back to living as you always have.

All through willpower. Once that willpower sets in concrete you begin to show advances in your overall happiness.

It means trading time. Time saved by a faster recovery of trauma is given to more time in calmness and happiness. The seesaw tilts by willpower.

TonyWK

[Guest_093]

Hi WhiteKnight including everyone else here!! I have read and reread your post here and I am sorry but I do not understand what you are saying in this thread?? It could also be that I am tired and fuzzy headed too! Could you maybe break it down into perhaps more simpler words of what you are saying. Sorry I'm a bit of a dumb-ass today lol. Spitfire1