What is life?

BKYTH · ‎04-12-2015

What is the life that we should/ought to expect? Like so many who have made posts on BB I could recount accounts of difficulty and seemingly impossible situations that one is confronted with. But what is it that it should be? I wonder if we exhaust ourselves in some 'otherwise' that we insist that our lives should be? Does the life we would hope for exist as commonly as we, in our despair, would wish for ourselves? It may be that this 'otherness' is more a fantasy than a fact. There is much that ails the people of this world and experiencing a mental illness does not of itself separate us in some unique way from others. Suffering is a part of every persons experience and if that suffering is grounded by a 'diagnosis' then it is not more unacceptable than that which isn't. The human condition can be diagnosed but remains forever beyound such simplistic analysis. Where an understanding, a diagnosis is applicable, then the situation is malleable and can be approached in various means but suffering has a much broader basis than our terminology would allow. Suffering is a complex issue especially if we resist it and see it as something that we should reject as incompatible with our vision of life as it should be lived or experienced. Perhaps it is that our aversion to suffering, our desperate desire to avoid it that attaches us to its cause. To accept that suffering is inseparable from life can enable us to sustain ourselves in the face of it because it demands something more from us. We are compelled to be be more than we've had to be before. It asks of us to find that within ourselves which have never yet had to discover. Don't let the darkness ask of you. Ask of it. Bkyth.

Jacko777 · ‎04-12-2015

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Bkyth.

As you say, 'suffering' is a such a complex issue. I believe that if we can be conscious in the moment of how we respond to life's challenges, we mostly don't need to suffer and we can view our harsh realities as positive opportunities for personal growth experiences. All good in theory I know, with lots of practice I can get closer to a permanently calm mindset. And of course there are times when we suffer from grief and we can have the calmness of mind to let it flow.

A challenge I think for the dear soul that has a diagnosis of mental illness could be to have the clarity of thought to instigate and navigate a recovery. You are so right, we need the courage to make new discoveries, and I would add that this could be much more difficult for those with a severe mental illness, or even an ingrained mental health issue. Some people are suffering but don't see that as something they can fix, or think that seeking help is a sign of weakness. (I send them love now!) But we know that it takes courage and strength and persistence to make a recovery, to set our sails and venture into new territory.

Jack

Carmela · ‎04-12-2015

Life is a journey of lessons, experiences and moments of suffering and then unconditional love. Each day we write a page in our book that is dedicated to our life. It is our story, a creation of revealed discovery and trusting the soul, of listening to our inner voice that is sometimes clouded by darkness. The duality of life grants us the learnings as life reveals itself. We are always on a journey of discovery - that is life.

BKYTH · ‎06-12-2015

There are those who are born into a world where as children they work long days for just enough money to feed themselves. There is no possibility for them of it ever being otherwise. if they get sick or injured they live or they die - What can they hope for themselves? There is no possibility for them in dreaming and the richness of wisdom. Most die before before either is possible. The wisdom that they require is rarely achieved by those of us that live much longer lives. The breath of human suffering is much broader than any designation that we can place on it. No one needs the burden of a mental illness any more than a child needs to be born into a situation where the only possibility for them is death. When I think of life's challenges I feel compelled to think of those whose situation denied them of that luxury. The barbaric nature of their circumstances denies them even that. I am not trying to paint a bleak picture of the human condition but rather that we in our own struggles should look outward as much as inward and examine the world as it is and explore its nature. Looking outward is far richer than just to look inward and allows us to see our circumstances in a more sober way. Philip.

BKYTH · ‎06-12-2015

In the time it takes me to make this post 24 children under the age of 5 will have died of starvation. So I am compelled to question most of what you say. Philip.

white knight · ‎06-12-2015

What is life?

Life is being yourself. Finding yourself can be a very difficult challenge for many. We are all unique individuals yet we follow others, we want to be like others or have their lifestyle, yet we don't often see ourselves as being wonderful.

As a former PM said "life wasn't meant to be easy" and he was right. Many younger people think the good things in life will fall in their laps. Not so. And as a parent the best thing I did for my daughter was encourage her to move out of home, get a job in the city and work hard.

Focussing on issues like the starving is counter productive as we don't have any solid influence on the decision makers. All it does is cause worry which in turn hurts us more that doesn't help us mentally. Life is sad really, wars, starving, injustice, accidents, we all see this, but I switch channels when my limit comes. For my wife and I we are constantly switching. A news item about the Japanese hunting whales (and that harpoon hits the poor animal) or a croc taking an antelope. Yes its life to some, cruelty for us. Yes they need to eat and its natural...we just choose not to watch it for we need to protect our mental state, remain as happy as we can.

Many with mental issues do look to often inward to analyse, worry and get more emotional about their condition. Yes, good idea to look outward more often as another ingredient of self help. That's a good point you make.

Jack makes a good point that some with serious mental conditions can see any way of fixing it. They say that if you have a mental condition and you have insight to it- you are one of the lucky ones....

I have a friend. She goes with the flow, is always laughing, is always socialising and happy. I used to envy her. But she doesn't have flair, artistic vision, poetry or writing...she is herself but she lacks all these things I have. And I've honed my skills in my creative side over decades to the point whereby this side of me is really me, its so much a part of me. And I believe my mental illness issues are responsible for this creative wonder that I have.

All in all I think if we can love ourselves then we will love life and we will be able to manage our troubled mind better. But its a balance. We also need to care for others. A blend of both worlds.

That's life.

Tony WK

geoff · ‎06-12-2015

dear BKYTH, this is a very complex post, 'What is Life', so does someone born into a rich family any different than someone being born into a poor family or in a Third World Country, well there arguments on whether the answer is or no.

In a TWC these kids probably have no chance of being helped unless it's by an elder in their family, but they wouldn't have any chance of obtaining any AD, and probably wouldn't have constant counselling, while a middle class person could have all of these.

What about someone born into a wealthy family and is the only child, well they could have anything they ask for without any exceptions, but does this make their life any easier, well there will be different opinions on this, but for me it's no, because in the long run their life being born into a wealthy family won't be able to help them in the long run, because rich kids are not meant to get depression, it's regarded as taboo. Geoff.

BKYTH · ‎06-12-2015

I agree with the statement you made about your friend. Like you while my life has been difficult I would not have had it any other way. I am richer for the experience and a successful writer because of my daily struggle simply to be. Equally I agree with you that we must be acutely aware of our own mental state and support the degree of wellness that we have. An awareness of the sadness that exists in its many forms in the world should never be something that we should focus on. Whether or not we have any influence of what occurs doesn't give me any distance from the experiences that that awareness imposes upon my consciousness. But having said that, like you, I too have to be very aware of my own situation and attend to that. I remember reading a book about 40yrs ago where the author said that "Every mans death effects me". I would have preferred it if he had said 'Every persons death' and for some reason that statement has stayed with me all those years. In seeing the plight of others I feel compelled to ask more of myself. It affords me the capacity to seek/demand more than I have been before, while at the same time, opening up the very ordinary and very precious aspects of life that I might otherwise overlook. Philip.

BKYTH · ‎06-12-2015

You make some very good points and I appreciate your insight into the complexity of the question. I wasn't contrasting those born in impoverished conditions with those who are born into privileged ones, but your use of that contrast, is effective and meaningful. I don't know what AD refers too. You are right in saying that wealth and poverty don't of themselves have a lot to do what might be called 'the well lived life'. But I would wish for everyone (to no avail) that they have the possibility of having the life that could have been with all its darkness and its shadows and its possibilities. I read a statement in a RSL magazine that I particularly liked. It said. "Don't complain of the aches and pains of getting old. Consider those who never lived long enough to experience them"
Perhaps for some of us, and in the end, for all of us, as we age we are left to consider the cost of our experience and what we can make of our ages of being. Philip.

White_Rose · ‎06-12-2015

I would love to find the meaning of life, except that what would I do when I have found it. What would we all do?

I am in a very bad place at the moment and I don't like it. As Geoff has commented, I can get help of some kind which a person in a TWC has absolutely no access to. A TWC person does not, for example, have the luxury of deciding to take their own life. I do because I am not scratching around everyday to find enough food for tomorrow or a roof over my head. I am much older than most people in TWC and I have a rich store of memories and experiences, even wisdom. So which of us is the happier?

Is it me because I can generally have whatever I want, but still become depressed etc. Or the person who struggles to survive everyday and has a short life expectancy with no time to become depressed? There is a post on BB, and I can't remember the location, where someone is writing about their partner being depressed. The writer cannot understand depression because the BF has everything people in her former country do not have.

So do we have our various mental illnesses because there is nothing else to do? If you look at Maslow's Hierarchy the next we should be aiming for. We in the west have the first two stages covered; physiological needs of food, drink, shelter etc. and stage two, security, law etc. We are up to needing stage three, although I would put this in stage two: love and belonging, affection, friendship, relationships. If we had the components of stage three then no one would go should of the necessities of life as in stages 1 & 2.

When we have a loving family we don't need to struggle on our own with mental wellness because we have support, teachers, mentors. And who are the people with mental illness? We struggle with our depression/ anxiety/OCD/Schizophrenia/anything else, while others exploit the needs of those they are supposed to care for in order to grower richer.. Not much of a brain teaser there.

Mary