What helps to keep well?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Have been around the forums now for a couple of months. Posted a couple of threads under PTSD, but think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.

Many of you will have read the factual information about my past. Something that is missing from my posts though is - how I really am. That's what I want this post to be. It has to be about things I'm finding out about 'who I am and how I keep well'.

I was so down, having retired last year, losing all sight of what I wanted to do, being physically incapacitated, thyroid medication not right and screaming inside. The psych who I'd just started seeing wanted me to look a my personality..... No you don't. That's not what I wanted. So I moved on to a new psychologist.

The new psychologist is drilling down. I have to take stock of myself, my feelings, my emotions and ultimately - who I am (so I need to look at what has formed by beliefs, behaviours and values).

Interestingly I'm still apprehensive about divulging me. You know why - because I was brought up to show no emotion, to not feel good about myself. And especially NEVER talk to others about yourself. That would be bragging or worse, getting too big for my boots.

ATM feeling very emotive. I want to scream, I want to reach out to you all out there and to hug you all.

Hugs were never something that happened in our household. I only learnt how to hug women in the 1990s when I worked with some wonderful group of women in the disability field. How good was that!! What had I'd been missing all those years - hugs from women. It learnt it was okay. Hugging men - of course that was always okay cos it's normal.

Me - my heart pounds at least an hour or two every day. I spend and hour or two settling those pounds. Why does it happen - every look, every word, every sound and every thought make me feel worthless.

I asked hubby today if he loved himself. He said well, yes a lot more that I did before. You know I did that. I thought him to love himself. But can I do that for me. I'm really trying.

Loving oneself - keeps you well. I'll get there. BB forums is helping me like you'd never believe.

Sending everyone who reads this all the hugs I can.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[PamelaR]

Hi everyone!

Thank you all for continuing to add your thoughts about what keeps you well! So good to see your contributions. I hope these help others.

Grandy - the idea of your exercise book with positives and negatives is fantastic. I'll keep that in mind when I next write in a journal - I haven't written in one for years now.

Pepper - thank you for your thoughts. Yes, I've been in the garden every day. It's wonderful.

Elizabeth - Travel!! Yes, it is so good. Love it. Though I must say that I'm a little less inclined these days, not sure why. Still get out though.

Gardening for me is very therapeutic. Even just watering the garden is enough to settle me. It was one of the things my mother taught me how to do. So it's a positive memory of her.

I'm just realising that using my hands to make something is another top staying well tip for myself. That's hard to believe hey. While I worked, using a keyboard was the only thing my hands ever really did. I'm not a crafty person, so don't do knitting, crocheting, sewing. But doing this leadlighting is really keeping me enthralled. Finding out my hands can use tools, I'm not useless after all. I used a soldering iron yesterday. That was a huge one for me.

So overall, retirement is keeping me well. I'm doing things that I haven't done before, so I'm continually learning. And the learning is pleasurable, learning new things for my job was stressful at times.

What are some more tips and hints for people to stay well?

Everyone is welcome to share. Even those of you who just read. No pressure for you to contribute, just if you feel like it. You never know you might find you like it. I'm sure others will find it useful.

[blondguy]

Thanks Pamela for your welcoming posts 🙂

What keeps me well...ummm

• not being a slave to my cell phone and switching it off before bed
• whenever possible, having quality sleep without an ipad or laptop overstimulating my brain activity prior to going to bed
• avoiding overly critical/toxic people....they have a detrimental effect on our mental well being

Great thread Pamela and thankyou again

Paul

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pammy and all,

I am happy to hear you have been enjoying gardening. I know that a lot of people find it helps their wellbeing.

I suppose it’s a nice combination if both surrounding yourself with nature and using your hands when gardening 🙂

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Hi everyone

Hoping your ok Pam and are keeping well.

Over the past 2 days something that is helping me is being able to read my books again. Its been nearly a year since ive been able to read and concentrate on a reading book but the past few days ive been able to! I forgot how much ive been missing my books esp with them staring at me. They are proving to be a good time passer and distraction for me so it is helping me to keep well.

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone,

Im feeling so unwanted, sad, unloved...What will keep me well for today and will probably extend that Well feeling for a few days maybe even a week, is something that I haven't had or felt now for over 3 months, it's such a simple thing that I think a lot of well people take for granted..(sorry not meaning to offend anyone). ..

I need so much more, then want .....I just need someone to wrap their arms around me in a gentle but firm hug, hold me and say that everything and I will be okay...

I do believe that hugs are so very important to our mental health wellness..

Warm hugs and kind thoughts,

Grandy..

[Guest8901]

Karen I agree that human touch is very important to our wellbeing. Whether that be a warm hug, a gentle caress, a clasp of the hand, whatever. I wish I could oblige with a real hug, firm but gentle, to you Karen. Virtual will have to suffice though. But please know that if I could, I would be very happy to provide that.

Pepper - I too like to get my hands dirty out in the garden and find it a helpful distraction and grounding as well.

Pamela - I'm a bit worried about you as I havent seen you around in some time. Are you okay? Sending you love and best wishes.

Amanda

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone!!

Thank you all for sharing your staying well stories.

Yes Grandy, I do love hugs too very much. I need them all the time. Something interesting I note with the kids next door, they love to come and give me a big hug. It's so nice. So you aren't getting much are you Grandy. That is sad. You know I used to get hugs from some of the huggers at work. Would that be something you could do at the op shop? That is of course the person was also a hugger.

Reading Butterfly Wings is so good for you. Pleased to hear you are getting back to it. I haven't yet, but I will do. What are you reading?

Gardening is good Mandy. Do you grow anything in particular?

I'm find to all you lovelies who are concerned for me. I've been camping since last Thursday. Got home late Monday and since then have been unpacking, cleaning etc. Also, when I come on to Beyond Blue forums I try to get to greet the newbies (the other CCs had a very very busy weekend) and to support those in real need. So that was my day yesterday. Now I can concentrate a little more on others, though I'm off to my volunteer role in a moment. It only takes a little while but have tons of shopping to do also.

Maybe I was a little on edge before going camping. I'm not the best one for really opening up. Partly because I'm not always sure what it is that's bothering me most of the time. Think I've got to the bottom of it. I have had suicidal thoughts over the past couple of months, but have not spoken to anyone about it. Mainly because I know I'd never act on it. It's just those thoughts popped into my head when I least expected it. All is good now, it's just coming to terms with being open about it that was doing my head in a little I think.

So new staying well step for me - be honest to myself, doctor, psych, and other caring people.

You know what would be good for this thread - to get some new people in to find out if they have anything to add or ask questions about.

Any of you have ideas about how we can engage with others and get them to post here?

Care to you all!

PamelaR

[startingnew]

Hi Pammy ❤

Im reading Drums of Autumn atm its a book in the outlander series.

You sound like youve been very busy! Good on you for going camping and for getting through those unexpected thoughts. Please know that if you need help with those thoughts it is ok to ask for help. They can be hard to deal with in your own xox

I like your idea of keeping well-being honest can be really hard but it can also be worth it too. Well done xo

In regards to getting some new members im about to go onto some of the social threads so will meation and encourage others to come join in here to.

Hello to everyone here too xox

[AndyR]

Hi Pam

Loved reading your new wellness step is honesty with yourself and with your GP and some of the supportive folk around you. I think that's a change - dropping the mask will be so good.

The things that keep me well have come out of being honest and open about my wellness or otherwise. That's my foundation now. I've just come in from an appointment with GP and Mental Health Nurse and being open with them always keeps me well - indeed today we shared some black humour about my journey that was a delight.

Having friends who hug with affection keeps me well, being brave enough to ring a friend and ask them to 'come share a meal with me' keeps me well (I live on my own). Knowing when I need company and asking for it keeps me well. Turning food shopping into an adventure keeps me well - I didn't cook anything for four years but now I do.

And for nearly 900 days in a row I've posted on facebook a photo of my world taken that day. Every day. It started out as see if I could do it for a week, then two, then could I make a month. In a week it will be 900 days. I've shared my thoughts and journey with the photos - just a sentence maybe two each day. One thing it's taught me is not every photo will be great, and that that is fine, some days are good some not so. So I've learned from it to be more allowing of myself to not always be on top form. Knowing that helps to keep me well.

And I just realised you've prompted a newbie to enter this conversation! Well done you.

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Welcome AndyR - lovely to have you join the conversation, thank you. Photography is a great way to stay well and especially posting one on FB everyday - for 900 days. Wow, that's going on for 3 years. I wonder if that will top the Guiness Book of Records? LOL.

Butterfly Wings - haven't watched much of the Outlander series. And of course none of the books. Hope you enjoy it.

Look forward to other newbies to the conversation. All are welcome to share their stories about keeping well.