What helps to keep well?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Have been around the forums now for a couple of months. Posted a couple of threads under PTSD, but think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.

Many of you will have read the factual information about my past. Something that is missing from my posts though is - how I really am. That's what I want this post to be. It has to be about things I'm finding out about 'who I am and how I keep well'.

I was so down, having retired last year, losing all sight of what I wanted to do, being physically incapacitated, thyroid medication not right and screaming inside. The psych who I'd just started seeing wanted me to look a my personality..... No you don't. That's not what I wanted. So I moved on to a new psychologist.

The new psychologist is drilling down. I have to take stock of myself, my feelings, my emotions and ultimately - who I am (so I need to look at what has formed by beliefs, behaviours and values).

Interestingly I'm still apprehensive about divulging me. You know why - because I was brought up to show no emotion, to not feel good about myself. And especially NEVER talk to others about yourself. That would be bragging or worse, getting too big for my boots.

ATM feeling very emotive. I want to scream, I want to reach out to you all out there and to hug you all.

Hugs were never something that happened in our household. I only learnt how to hug women in the 1990s when I worked with some wonderful group of women in the disability field. How good was that!! What had I'd been missing all those years - hugs from women. It learnt it was okay. Hugging men - of course that was always okay cos it's normal.

Me - my heart pounds at least an hour or two every day. I spend and hour or two settling those pounds. Why does it happen - every look, every word, every sound and every thought make me feel worthless.

I asked hubby today if he loved himself. He said well, yes a lot more that I did before. You know I did that. I thought him to love himself. But can I do that for me. I'm really trying.

Loving oneself - keeps you well. I'll get there. BB forums is helping me like you'd never believe.

Sending everyone who reads this all the hugs I can.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pamela (and all),

It seems like your commitment is paying off 🙂 True, of course that doesn’t mean you don’t have bad days and struggles.

Please know...if you’re ever struggling and want to talk about it (zero pressure if you don’t feel like talking about it), just shout out. I feel many of us want to be here for you on both your good, bad and in-between days ❤️

Thanks for asking. I have been thinking about climate change a lot but that is a whole other story. Lol.

Thanks for sitting with me and holding my hand. You’re a beautiful person 🙂

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

hey Pammy this is really great to hear 🙂 keep up the great work 🙂

[PamelaR]

Awww Pepper. Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. Opening up is very hard for me as you might imagine. I generally use my therapist for that. I learnt from a very early age not to express my emotions, and definitely no crying. But I do cry now and do express my emotions. It just takes a lot because I'm not used to it.

Your a beautiful person to Pepper. Very much so.

Tell me about climate change - are you referring to the local changes or the big picture stuff? Does the actual change affect you physiologically? Or is the the debate about 'climate change' that causes the angst? For me it's both. The flat earth people are here to stay LOL.

PamelaR ☺️❤️

[PamelaR]

Thank you Starting New 🙂 Will get around to your thread. Just really busy with answering newbies atm. It takes the time I used to allocate to talking to people in the long journey forum. Thinking of you though. xox

Pammy

[Guest8901]

Hi Pamela and all.

Pammy, your thread is all about keeping well. But I'm not well yet. I need to GET well first. How? It seems such a dim hope right now.

Amanda

[PamelaR]

Mandy dear,

You're going through real though times. Staying well is going to be difficult, not just now, but until you've returned home and life's path takes it course. But hey, that's okay. You should be feeling that way. It's normal. My only 'maternal' staying well advice is - you need to 'eat'. And eat properly, healthy foods. Is there a way of stopping your brain / mind from taking control to tell you, you don't need to eat. Seriously, that thought, belief and value has to STOP. Everyone is capable of taking control of their minds. It's just whether you chose to, or not.

You are highly intelligent Mandy, you have so much going for you. So much potential - now and into the future. All those stories that are coursing through your brain, due to lack of sleep, lack of good sustenance, overload of caring for your husband, non caring for yourself (because you don't think you're worth it), plus everything else I don't know about.

All the stories your mind tells you, have to STOP Mandy if you want to stay well. You are a worthy human being who has so much to give - look at how you support people here on BB. Wow, just wow. When you yourself are so down. It's awesome. Yet you struggle to see that or want to see that.

I know you are grieving at the moment. And my heart goes out to you. You're afraid of the future. But hey, I see one wonderful future for you opening up. So I'll be here holding your hand lovely Mandy. Because you are lovely. You have no idea how you've touched my heart.

Sending you loads of virtual hugs.

Stay well!!

Pammy 💜 (your special colour 🙂 )

[Chloe_M]

Hi everyone, hope you all had a wonderful day.

Mandy- what Pammy said is true- you need to eat, and eat heathy. What I'm about to tell you might help you but might not. i hope it does.

as we are animals, for a healthy and proper diet, human beings should graze. So eat a little healthy snack every hour and a half or so. That might help say you feel sick after eating a meal, whereas eating little bits of food to sustain you might be a bit easier.

You may be running out of hope right now, but the spirit of Elpis still remains. (had to reference a Greek myth, I love them plus I saw your other thread about Pandora's box 😉). If you ever feel hopeless come and talk to us. We are here for you ❤️

Pammy- I love reading your posts. Every time I see your name on a thread marked 'new' I smile and click on it so I can read what you have to say. You are full of great advice and comfort- we are all very lucky to have you on the forums. Your community champion badge is well earned and well deserved ❤️

Lots of hugs to everyone from Chloe🤗

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

I have to acknowledge someone who helps me stay well and that's out Chloe dear. Thank you for your lovely compliment. Makes me feel good about myself!! You too are very proactive, positive and a wonderful young person to have around.

Lots of hugs to everyone and you especially Chloe 🤗

Pammy ❤️

[Chloe_M]

Aww thank you Pammy ❤️

Ahhh appreciation. What a wonderful feeling. That I would think would help someone stay well.

take care everyone x

chloe 🤗

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pammy (and a wave to all),

You’re welcome 🙂 Thank you for the beautiful response. Obviously there is no pressure to talk if you don’t feel like opening up but the option is there, and I just wanted to gently remind you...

Your comment about the “flat earth people are here to stay” amused me. Although perhaps I should be more scared than amused. Lol.

To answer your question, I suppose that I think about climate change on multiple levels: local, national and international. I don’t think my physiology has been affected at this point yet but who knows what the future holds.

I admittedly am a little hesitant to get into too much detail about climate change on these forums , less I accidentally start a debate. Having said that though, I do feel for many people, climate change is a legitimate contribution to some people’s mental health issues.

I feel the assumption is often (not always) that it’s just about more strictly personal problems (past traumas and present struggles) with family, friends, work, etc. While of course that’s true and highly valid reasons for mental health issue, I feel they aren’t the only contributors to mental health problems in my opinion.

I suppose maybe to bring it back to your “staying well” topic, perhaps my personal opinion a holistic approach is a good approach. Yes, it’s about self care and the people in our lives (highly agree) but I feel it is also about our environment or at least for some people anyway. I obviously can only “represent” myself as I don’t speak for everyone of course. Lol.

Pepper xoxo