What helps to keep well?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Have been around the forums now for a couple of months. Posted a couple of threads under PTSD, but think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.

Many of you will have read the factual information about my past. Something that is missing from my posts though is - how I really am. That's what I want this post to be. It has to be about things I'm finding out about 'who I am and how I keep well'.

I was so down, having retired last year, losing all sight of what I wanted to do, being physically incapacitated, thyroid medication not right and screaming inside. The psych who I'd just started seeing wanted me to look a my personality..... No you don't. That's not what I wanted. So I moved on to a new psychologist.

The new psychologist is drilling down. I have to take stock of myself, my feelings, my emotions and ultimately - who I am (so I need to look at what has formed by beliefs, behaviours and values).

Interestingly I'm still apprehensive about divulging me. You know why - because I was brought up to show no emotion, to not feel good about myself. And especially NEVER talk to others about yourself. That would be bragging or worse, getting too big for my boots.

ATM feeling very emotive. I want to scream, I want to reach out to you all out there and to hug you all.

Hugs were never something that happened in our household. I only learnt how to hug women in the 1990s when I worked with some wonderful group of women in the disability field. How good was that!! What had I'd been missing all those years - hugs from women. It learnt it was okay. Hugging men - of course that was always okay cos it's normal.

Me - my heart pounds at least an hour or two every day. I spend and hour or two settling those pounds. Why does it happen - every look, every word, every sound and every thought make me feel worthless.

I asked hubby today if he loved himself. He said well, yes a lot more that I did before. You know I did that. I thought him to love himself. But can I do that for me. I'm really trying.

Loving oneself - keeps you well. I'll get there. BB forums is helping me like you'd never believe.

Sending everyone who reads this all the hugs I can.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Thank you Paul and Chloe for posting. Always love to hear what it is that keeps you well.

Paul - I too love music. Any sort - jazz, classical, folk, blues, pop, rap.... Love it all. Though must confess these days I listen mostly to the FM classical station. It helps to reduce anxiety.

Chloe -Nah, badge has not turned up - anywhere. Really excited about the pond. Thank you. We love it - The fishies are doing well as is the lily. The fish are Blue Eyes, good to eat mosquito larvae. Pond is for frogs.Here's hoping!!

Put up the trellis behind one veggie garden bed today, while hubby cleared the other garden bed of pumpkin vine (that never did much. Baby pumpkins for a little while then would die). So now I have a plan about rejuvenating these plots for planting other veggies. Stay tuned!

Hey everyone would love to hear about what keeps you well!! Everyone welcome to share their stories.

BTW - I like seafood too - all sorts (including fish).

Pammy ❤️🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Pammy, and everyone,

Your pond sound like it could be a very calming place to spend time sitting there with a cuppa tea and get some mindfulness practice in..

i have just started a compost heap...I will try and see how I go trying to grow veggies.. hopefully getting outside more will keep me well..

Grandy..

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Awesome Grandy. Thank you for popping in!!

I've been doing composting for over 30 years. That is one of the positives from my childhood. I used to take the evening veggies scrapes to the yard to dig in. Never had a compost heap, just used to dig them in under each shrub or tree. Worked beautifully.

Well done you for starting one. Some of the lessons I've learnt over the years - never put any protein in the heap, i.e. meat, fish, seafood scraps. Stops pesky flies and neighbourhood dogs and cats.

Yes, the pond. Thank you. Must confess it is rather lovely and peaceful. I do tend to have a 5pm glass of wine with the cats (cats afternoon walkies outside) down along side the house where the pond is. Coolest place to be, with the birds in the trees. Heard frogs tonight!! Haven't heard them for a little while. So the pond is working already.

Pammy❤️

[CMF]

Hi all

great people thread Pammy. What keeps me well.....

i enjoy my arts and crafts, laughing with friends lol fits my spirits, acceptance, knowing I am cared for and hopefully my new job. Being proactive, productive and finding new things to do helps also.

cmf x

[Chloe_M]

I swear everyone has a vegetable garden! I would but I don't have the time 😞

your pond sounds awesome Pammy! It would be a lovely place to sit and relax.

Story time:

this might sound kind of strange but when I had pet fish and my anxiety or depression was really bad, I'd go upstairs to their tank and sit and watch them. They would swim up in front of my face and then lose interest and swim away, then they'd come back again and do the same thing. It was very calming.

Once I had two shubunkin goldfish for so long that I'd walk across the room to get the food at 'feeding time' and the two fish would follow me across the room in their tank and watch me get the food from the cupboard!

I hand fed those fish- took a while for them to 'trust' me haha. I could put my empty hand into the water also and one of them would come and sort of 'sit' in the palm of my hand! It was kind of endearing but tbh he probably just wanted food.

maybe watching your fish swim around your pond will be calming. I hope those frogs take up residence in your pond 🐸

xx Chloe

[Chloe_M]

What also keeps me well is posting on these forums! Helping others, getting help, and just talking to others on here is refreshing!

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Pammy (and all),

No, really, the honour is mine to contribute on this thread 🙂

Your garden sounds really lush and idyllic. So peaceful and beautiful. You have nature calling in all around you. Speaking of helping to keep you well, I bet this garden of yours is playing an every growing role 😉

Pepper xoxo

[Chloe_M]

Hi guys

I thought I'd pop in here to see what you guys thought. I mentioned in my other thread that I am quite anxious and depressed this morning. I am supposed to be going to the local library to meet up with some friends for a project but I don't want to go. Any advice? Should I suck it up and go or should I cancel?

Thanks guys

chloe

[startingnew]

Hi Chloe

Iwouldnt say suck it up and go however i would suggest going. Dont let your anxiety and depression stop you from doing the things you love. You seem to me your rather social ( i could be wrong though...) so even though you dont feel like going theres a chance while your there youll find yourself enjoying being with your friends.

Let us know how you get on..xo

[startingnew]

Hi Pammy

How did photography go? I read your avatar is one of yours. Im a fan. I love the simple pics that show the beauty of a single thing/s.

your pond sounds really lovely. So peaceful. You often see in movies cats trying to catch the fish.. do yours do that or watch them intriguingly?

CMF i love arts and crafts. They help me alot too. What sorts are your favourite ie drawing..painting... quilling.. cars making plus so many other things