What helps to keep well?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Have been around the forums now for a couple of months. Posted a couple of threads under PTSD, but think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.

Many of you will have read the factual information about my past. Something that is missing from my posts though is - how I really am. That's what I want this post to be. It has to be about things I'm finding out about 'who I am and how I keep well'.

I was so down, having retired last year, losing all sight of what I wanted to do, being physically incapacitated, thyroid medication not right and screaming inside. The psych who I'd just started seeing wanted me to look a my personality..... No you don't. That's not what I wanted. So I moved on to a new psychologist.

The new psychologist is drilling down. I have to take stock of myself, my feelings, my emotions and ultimately - who I am (so I need to look at what has formed by beliefs, behaviours and values).

Interestingly I'm still apprehensive about divulging me. You know why - because I was brought up to show no emotion, to not feel good about myself. And especially NEVER talk to others about yourself. That would be bragging or worse, getting too big for my boots.

ATM feeling very emotive. I want to scream, I want to reach out to you all out there and to hug you all.

Hugs were never something that happened in our household. I only learnt how to hug women in the 1990s when I worked with some wonderful group of women in the disability field. How good was that!! What had I'd been missing all those years - hugs from women. It learnt it was okay. Hugging men - of course that was always okay cos it's normal.

Me - my heart pounds at least an hour or two every day. I spend and hour or two settling those pounds. Why does it happen - every look, every word, every sound and every thought make me feel worthless.

I asked hubby today if he loved himself. He said well, yes a lot more that I did before. You know I did that. I thought him to love himself. But can I do that for me. I'm really trying.

Loving oneself - keeps you well. I'll get there. BB forums is helping me like you'd never believe.

Sending everyone who reads this all the hugs I can.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[quirkywords]

Pamela,

What a great thread.

Just one word for me is hope. Even in my lowest days I always hold onto to hope

Hope has got me through and is part of my journey. When I read posts where people seem to have lost hope, it makes me sad.

Having hope does not mean things will change immediately but i must believe there is always hope,

Grandy, your last post makes me sad. You are human , we all can be weak but I see a strong woman who helps others and one day will hopefully help herself. I know you want believe that , I will not give up hope that you can change how you think about yourself.

I did something in my past that still hurts people today but I live with hope I will forgive myself one day and others will forgive me. This keeps me going.

Quirky

[blondguy]

Hey Pamela

Such a proactive thread and thankyou 🙂

What keeps me Well >>>> Learning not to 'fight' symptoms of anxiety/depression and to use 'calm and true acceptance' instead. Fighting these awful symptoms only adds fuel to the fire thus prolonging recovery

It takes time....determination and strong desire to heal (and a good Doc) but the results are wonderful 🙂

My kindest thoughts

Paul

[PamelaR]

Thank you Quirky

I'm pleased you like the thread. I really like what keeps you well - 'hope'.

Yes, it is such a positive word and it has so much going for it. One meaning that I found for it is:

Hope is a feeling of trust, a security, and a reason to keep going. It is a passionate desire of our heart. It is a feeling of expectation and a longing for a certain thing to happen.

Something to aspire to. Quirky, it must be painful trying to forgive yourself for what you did. My heart goes out to you. I know I've done terrible things in my past and it is so hard to forgive myself. Holding your hand and sending you waves of hope for the future.

PamelaR

[PamelaR]

Thank you Paul for your post on my thread.

Great to have you aboard.

I know what you mean about not 'fighting' the symptoms of anxiety/depression. For me it's about not 'fearing' fear. To look about me and say 'I'm safe' - So for me a little different to your being calm/accepting.

You are so right everything takes time, determination, a good doc and a good therapist!!

Thank you for your wonderful words Paul.

How are you by the way? I'm not sure which is your thread. I know you have the one about 'loving yourself'. Do you have any other?

Hugs to you!!

Pammy

[PamelaR]

Hello all

I've been quite over the past couple of days - Helping me to stay well. I do have a reasonably active life. Last week was incredibly busy with - new volunteer role, experimenting with photography, walking, visiting my brother, going to see a 'crappy movie', seeing my psychologist. All these things help to build my resilience to anxiety and depression.

Almost at the end of my psych visits. Eek, then I'll be going it alone again for awhile. I spoke to him about not having him there. We laughed, he thinks I'm advancing very well. I think I am too. Just getting back to my photography has been so good, so healthy for me.

My cat has just popped in and is asking for attention. Nose on keyboard. Earlier it was - plonk onto whole keyboard which sent the monitor crazy.

Please everyone - keep your stories 'what helps to keep well'! coming into the thread! Loving all your contributions so far. Thank you. Hopefully it helps others out there too.

PamelaR

[PamelaR]

Do you know what really helps me feel and stay well - COOKING. I love to cook good food.

Speaking of which I'm off to bake some lamb shanks, then pop them into an egg plant veggie dish. Which sets me of to think......I might start a thread about 'best meals ever'. Suppose I'd better do a search to find out if there is something along those lines already.

Does any one know if there is a thread of this kind?

[startingnew]

hey Pammy i love baking too! all kinds of things but more so the sweets!

theres a thread here called "whats cooking good looking" that might interest you

[PamelaR]

Thanks Starts. I've posted to the thread so it'll appear on MY Threads.

You're a legend.

Yeah, sweets are not my thing must admit. Much love - savoury, sour, bitter etc.

Ta

[startingnew]

Pammy xoxoxox

[blondguy]

Hey Pamela

Its always really nice when the original poster gets back and thankyou

I understand you about not 'fearing fear' as its the main reason that anxiety exists in the first place

When I mention 'Calm and true Acceptance' it means exactly what you mentioned

My reference is an old book called 'Self Help for Your Nerves' by Dr Claire Weekes. She is the only psychiatrist I know that has put her anxiety/depression in a book

My kind thoughts

Paul