*Trigger warning* Eating for Health and Wellness

[Guest_1055]

I have been struggling eating and eating healthy foods over the last couple of weeks. I really do not want to go back further to how I use to eat, that is eating junk food, takeaways, copious amounts of chocolate, processed junk and comfort eating.

Finding it challenging to stay motivated to actually prepare what I know helps me feel better mentally, emotionally and physically. Plus I have been feeling overwhelmed with other stuff happening in my life, which somehow makes it more challenging. The old unhealthy comfort eating thing is coming back. And I think I am getting concerned and scared about that. I so much do not want to go back to how I use to be. I was so sick. Plus I now have some physical things not right in my body , so I need to be more careful and mindful of what I eat. ( Pre cancer cells , high blood pressure )

I was eating really well since Febuary of this year, it’s just the last couple of weeks I haven’t.

So I would like to use this thread to help me be accountable to Beyond Blue people. So like a diary where I can post and report what I eat. And also any healthy eating tips, motivating strategies to help eat better or anything related to healthy eating for our bodies including our mental health.

[Guest_1055]

What a kind post, thankyou Leisa.

That's right it does feel like a comforting hug. It even sounds weird saying that. Like how can food hug us?

I hear what you are saying about when you feel bad about yourself you may eat the pizza. Same here, well the feeling bad about myself bit. I start to feel like a nobody, like I have no worth, maybe even like a piece of dirt. Go to the junk in mis guided hope to somehow feel better. But it so short lived and in the end feel worse then before. So may even turn to junk again. It is just one big circle of mess.

Anyway I do like you strategy about being aware of how many calories are in the pizza. Maybe they call that mindful eating, I am not sure.

And yes I knew that about some meds doing that.. Like the side affects. I am not actually on any. My weight gain is most likely because of the binging I think.

Totally agree it is hard to not worry about what other may think about us. Fear of being rejected is my thing. Think it might be along the lines of what you just said there. Something similar anyway.

Thankyou for wishing me the best, that is beautiful.

And I will keep trying.. Thankyou for the encouraging words. I am really sick of living this way. So I am hoping that will motivate me to not give up, even though I have definitely felt too.

Very nice sort of chatting to you. Much kindness back

Shell

[Guest_1055]

Hey MM,

The escapade... That is what it is to me. A way of escaping what I am feeling, a way of coping. Other people may be able to tolerate this junk in there bodies and be fine. But I am really not. I have thought that it is like an addiction. Just like alcohol may be to some people.

I do not want food to be my escape from learning how to face and deal with difficult times or something like that.

I am really sick of being this way MM. Even think I feel cross at myself. So sorry if that comes across... the crossness I mean.

And you are right tomorrow is a new day.

Thankyou for hearing me, MM. Appreciate. Hope you are getting along akrifht

[Guest_1055]

Hey MM, maybe I am taking myself to seriously. Anyway Thankyou again for listening to me.

[Guest_1643]

Hey lovely Shelll

Sorry you are struggling, just finding your thread.
I'm not eating very nutritiously either. I love the way MM wrote to you - the judgements and regrets around food can be so hard.
Do you find it hard to get to sleep or stay asleep?
I'm struggling very much to get to sleep

[ecomama]

Hey Shelll

I hear you. HUGE hugs.

You could be proud of yourself? I'm proud of you. You're pretty awesome lol.

Maybe working on forgiving yourself would be a freeing experience?

I've had crazy 'relationships' with food lol if you can have a relationship with food IDK. Maybe views about what I'm eating could be better put.

I think I used food to punish myself. Others seem to use food to reward themselves IDK.

Anyway in my 20s - a LONG time ago lol, I joined Overeaters Anonymous. I even had a mentor to phone every day. The 12 steps were the best part IMO.

But in my 30s I met 2 ladies & we all became friends. These 2 were what I'd call skinny... I've seldom been called skinny lol, like once, mostly the opposite but now I don't care. After a while I was shocked to learn that they BOTH had been very overweight and meticulous eaters till their 30s etc etc ….. I was waiting to hear their "Dieting plan" or "Food Regime" or something....

Their secret was to basically forget about food. It took me YEARS to get what they meant, I had been sooooo programmed by my mother who was a Diet Coach lol. Counting calories, constantly weighing food, so many strict rules about every morsel of food. They went through the whole dieting merry - go - round too. Then got off.

Anyway I think I've just about got what these friends meant. I've never tried to explain it before but I guess the philosophy is kind of to sort your fun and work activities out for the day first. Eat when you're hungry. Stop.
Move to the next activity.

I try to listen to my body now. I'm not a completely 'clean eater' at all, I don't try to be. But I'm also extremely physically healthy and work physically hard doing things I LOVE like gardening! I eat good foods I love and if I want to eat take away (the need has diminished to almost zero now) well then I do. But I don't have eating remorse anymore. Never.

It took a long time to change my focus but the results are that I now weigh 30kg less than during my dieting nightmares. In fact I haven't weighed myself (nor food I want to eat) in about 5y I think.

In difficult times, my uncertainty about food resurfaces but then I refocus...

I know, I can hear you, I felt the same. 30y later these ladies are still doing the things they love and eating what they want to - albeit, they want to eat in a way that fulfils them.

Love EM

[Guest_1055]

Hey Sleepy snowwhite (you too are lovely)

Thankyou for your compassion there. Do you normally not eat nutritious food, or is it just lately? Feel free not to answer that, if you don't want too.

And yes MM is really nice.

Sorry you are not sleeping well. It can make a huge difference when we don't. Some people have trouble I know because of anxiety, over thinking or trauma. Which just breaks my heart. So I won't talk about it much. I don't have trouble like that though. Except at times the over thinking bit.

There is a sleep thread on here. Don't think it has been posted on for a while though.

If I have caffeine as in coffee sleep is almost impossible. My body is very sensitive to it. I hardly have coffee so really notice it. I am thinking the smaller amount of caffeine in chocolate properly does not help with sleep either. For me anyway. Eating late into the night does affect my sleep as well. The body is too busy digesting food, so it does not rest and repair itself sort of thing. Wake up feeling not good at all. I do try not to eat late.

Hey you may find using lavender essential oil may help you fall asleep and stay asleep. I have just been learning all about that. My sister has been using it in a diffuser and told me it is helping her. It's very relaxing. I am hoping to try it soon, when I am able.

I hope you get some distant sleep soon.

Shell

[Guest_1055]

Hey Em,

Thankyou for listening to me. So glad food does not have a hold on you like perhaps before it did. That is what I desire to be like. I want to not live to eat. Sometimes it seems like it is the only thing that brings a sense of happiness. Though only for short while.

With your mother doing that job, guessing it was properly in your face all the time.

I do like what you learnt through your friends and your own experiences. Food is not the focus. There is more to life then food. Happiness and fullfillment can be found in other things. Like you getting out in your garden.

I eat out of boredom as well. I have worked that out.

I am trying to do or find other things in life that I either use to enjoy before or new activities.

Anyway thankyou Em

Thankyou for the hug too.

[Guest_1055]

Its just after 2pm...

I had intense cravings for another cream bun. So so glad I did not go out to buy it.

I rang up someone straight away. Which is also not easy for me to do. I do struggle verbally speaking to others. And I am not fond of doing it. The call ended up with her taking a photo of a recipe she had and sending it to me. It was for a Moroccan Chickpea soup. So I had most of the ingredients... all healthy ingredients too. So pretty much straight away I got to making it. Measuring out the beautiful smelling spices etc.

I know I am still thinking about food. But I thought at least it will nourish me and not harm me by eating it. And I did speak to another human.. to help with the lonely feeling I had.

Anyway I ate some warm soup. Then I made a frozen nice cream with frozen pineapple, frozen mango and soy milk. No refined sugars or anything. I just felt like I needed something sweet. The nice cream helped with that. Plus it was fun to make. As was measuring out all the spices for the soup.

So that is all I have consumed today so far.

[monkey_magic]

Way to go Shell,

I'm proud of your discipline and your healthy eating!

You are back on track!

[Guest_1055]

Hi MM,

Thankyou and clap clap clap