*Trigger warning* Eating for Health and Wellness

[Guest_1055]

I have been struggling eating and eating healthy foods over the last couple of weeks. I really do not want to go back further to how I use to eat, that is eating junk food, takeaways, copious amounts of chocolate, processed junk and comfort eating.

Finding it challenging to stay motivated to actually prepare what I know helps me feel better mentally, emotionally and physically. Plus I have been feeling overwhelmed with other stuff happening in my life, which somehow makes it more challenging. The old unhealthy comfort eating thing is coming back. And I think I am getting concerned and scared about that. I so much do not want to go back to how I use to be. I was so sick. Plus I now have some physical things not right in my body , so I need to be more careful and mindful of what I eat. ( Pre cancer cells , high blood pressure )

I was eating really well since Febuary of this year, it’s just the last couple of weeks I haven’t.

So I would like to use this thread to help me be accountable to Beyond Blue people. So like a diary where I can post and report what I eat. And also any healthy eating tips, motivating strategies to help eat better or anything related to healthy eating for our bodies including our mental health.

[Guest_1055]

Today I ate some grapes, think that may be the end of the season ones. And a subway with falafels, avocado, spinach, lettuce, tomato, carrot grilled.

Another kombucha

[Guest_1055]

Lunch yeserday..

I made scrambled tofu like the other day. Served it with some 1/4 of a creamy avocado and grilled tomato. And ate 1 mandarine

Dinner...

I made a burrito bowl. It had mexican lentils, cos lettuce, corn topped with cashew sour cream.

I did eat 3 crossiants later on. Not really a wise choice for me that I made.

But hey I have had no sugar laden chocolate. So that is a plus personally for me. I haven't had it for a while. My head does feel clearer, less foggy.

[golden82]

Morning Shell,

I LOVE croissants too - so I think that is a good choice for something as a treat for yourself. You make almost everything from scratch.. did u make your croissants from scratch?

I will have to try the brown lentils; I have seen them in cans at the shops. Haha my soup was just a canned soup. I haven't made a soup maybe 8-9 years. I used to, then fell into not eating, and now have been eating but very tricky still. So just canned soup. But homemade is much better for you but also has a fuller taste or something. I dunno, just tastes more wholesome and nourishing.

I really should try. I avoid the kitchen. I avoid eating. In answer to your Q of ED controlling me Absolutely. It is always racing thru my thoughts. I am writing at least 10 meal plans a day. It is tiresome. It is exhausting. Apparently it is what I do - focus my thoughts on so as to avoid the real painful thoughts and feelings of my family. That makes sense. So I spend my whole life fixated on stupid issues like whether to have a banana or a yoghurt for breakfast. Instead of just having something and moving on with my day. To do that then frees up my mind and allows the reality thoughts to pop in. I think that is part of it anyway.

When I was walking last night - my usual ED brain was spinning around and your caring Q of this popped into my mind. And I cried. Because a 'stranger' in another city cared enough about me and others here. Cared enough to try and help, understand. I was also crying because your Q is so true. And I pretend I am fine with ED. Because better than medically so underweight forced in hospital etc. And better than just coffees. But I am not really better. I am so controlled by it. I write these meal plans. But in actual fact the last time I ate a lunch and a dinner on the same day - was early 2009 - I had a tuna salad at work for lunch and vegies/soup for dinner. That was over 12 years ago!! I won't go into stuff as I don't wanna risk triggering anyone here or reading. But yes, very very controlled by anorexia. I know I am biased, but I truly believe this is the worst disease. It finds its way into everything like depression, anxiety, isolation, stereotypes. There is no medicine to help. And without family and friends. There is not much hope. I am doing better. I am doing enough to keep myself out of hospital. But am left will medical complications and still have it consuming me all the time. I hope that explains it a bit Shell - and thanks for caring xo

[monkey_magic]

Hi everyone,

Golden I hope you are doing ok today. I read your vulnerable post and from my understanding the thoughts are all consuming and exhausting.

It would be amazing if you could find guidance to healing from perhaps books from the library. Maybe even a therapist specialising in it could help you in getting some of the thoughts out and help?

I know for me I needed inspiration to make a change, support and I read a lot too which guides me. It's still tough though.

So, I made the sweet potato brownies and I love them! I use mashed sweet potato, wholemeal flour, butter, manuka honey, coconut sugar, slivered almonds, cacao and choc chips.

[Guest_1055]

Oh Golden, my heart goes out to you from my place to yours. Gentle hug if you will accept it. Oh crying....just let it all out I think. I have done this countless of times. Wish I could give you a tissue.

I think I have clearer picture of what your life is like for you. How I long for you too to be free from this Ed. Others may use other coping mechanisms to stop themselves or crowding out unpleasant thoughts. And this one is yours.

Whatever happened within your family, I am truly sorry. Families are supposed to be a place of nuture and love. But so many are not. It is so very sad.

I needed to work through stuff in regards to my own family. Still working through but it is far better then it was. One of the first things was forgiveness.

Hope you are ok with this Golden. I just wanted to add in something light. Just thinking that you must be excellent at making meal plans. Hope that is not too insensitive. People advertise their services to do that for others. I have seen it whilst researching nutrition and recipes and stuff. People even offer it it apps. You any good at technology type stuff, like making your own apps etc? I know you didn't ask for advice, but all that just popped in my thoughts.

That is great you live near the beach. Do you hear the waves? I live about a 20 minute drive from the ocean. The ocean is within the area of the city.

And no I did not make the croissant. It had been an years since I had eaten one.

Not sure how to end this Golden.. So yeah. Your profile picture is beautiful. I think it says to me beaut, hopeful and a brand new fresh start.

[Guest_1055]

Hey MM, did you make those brownies just recently?

[Guest_1055]

I am sorry Golden, just reread my post to you. The one I just wrote. It sounds so blunt. I didn't mean it to be. Struggling some with mixed up thoughts

[Guest_1055]

I do hope you are ok. And that I haven't hurt you by my questions and other things I wrote. Please forgive me if I did Golden. Please be ok

[Guest_1055]

Yesterday was not a good day. Too embarrassed to write what I ate. But I did not make choices that would help me. Abused my body with the crap foods I ate. As well as the amount of it.

[golden82]

Hi Shell. I can't imagine u ever upsetting anyone. You are such a warm heart. You have not upset or offended me at all. Please don't worry. I hope you are feeling okay 🙂