*Trigger warning* Eating for Health and Wellness

[Guest_1055]

I have been struggling eating and eating healthy foods over the last couple of weeks. I really do not want to go back further to how I use to eat, that is eating junk food, takeaways, copious amounts of chocolate, processed junk and comfort eating.

Finding it challenging to stay motivated to actually prepare what I know helps me feel better mentally, emotionally and physically. Plus I have been feeling overwhelmed with other stuff happening in my life, which somehow makes it more challenging. The old unhealthy comfort eating thing is coming back. And I think I am getting concerned and scared about that. I so much do not want to go back to how I use to be. I was so sick. Plus I now have some physical things not right in my body , so I need to be more careful and mindful of what I eat. ( Pre cancer cells , high blood pressure )

I was eating really well since Febuary of this year, it’s just the last couple of weeks I haven’t.

So I would like to use this thread to help me be accountable to Beyond Blue people. So like a diary where I can post and report what I eat. And also any healthy eating tips, motivating strategies to help eat better or anything related to healthy eating for our bodies including our mental health.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Shelll, thanks I did love the package and check in.
How did you go with the chocolate chia? Do you enjoy them?

Your soup also sounded really beautiful with all those hearty veg. Great and colourful plant-based foods!

Today i had a smoothie with oats, macademia millk, cashews, banana and coconut... I really enjoyed it.

[Guest_1055]

Well I had an unusual eating pattern today. I was not hungry all day. So ate nothing at all. Just drunk some water. Then

Dinner.... A 700ml juice of cucumber, carrot, beetroot, lemon, ginger, apple and spinach.

A huge plate of and variety of vegetables and some left over falafels. Roast potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, peas, corn,broccoli and cauliflower. All super yummy. And a hot chocolate.

No junk today 👏

[Guest_1055]

Oh wow that smoothie sounds so creamy Sleepy. And filling. Was it?

And yeah.. are you referring to the vegetable and split pea soup? That one is super delicious and the aroma of the smoked paprika is heavenly.

Chocolate chia pudding was super yum also. Except I did not make enough of it. As soon as the shopping gets delivered I will make some more and spoon them into little glass jars. They look so pretty all lined up in my fridge and topped with berries.

Have you made them before Sleepy?

[Guest_1055]

Oh sorry about your dodgy knees Airies. Are they painful? And are your hips okay? Do you take curcumin or anything?

Yeah chocolate... I also find it hard to only eat 1 piece. Impossible unless it belongs to someone else and they offer me some. Or if they leave it in the fridge, well I cannot steal there chocolate.

Some people like dark chocolate and some of that may be quality. I don't care for the taste at all for that one.

Have you tried hot chocolates using raw cacao powder? Like raw cocoa powder. Cacao still has nutrients left in it.

[Guest_1055]

Thankyou for the hug Hanna. I hope you are well and happy today.

It sounds like a good system you have going there. Like just not keep the food in the house. The ones you tend to snack on. I generally don't keep unhealthy snack food either in the house. The ones I mostly crave. But it is all so easy for me to just drive 2 mins up the road to woollies. And if that is closed there is the 24hour service station a short walk from our place.

And also decreasing the amount little by little that you are doing sounds good too. Whatever best works for you I guess. May work for others as well.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Shelll -
I ordered that smoothie from my new favourite place - as soon as I ordered it the man said , "Oh, that one's really creamy!"
It was very creamy and honestly tasted like ice cream!

I'm in awe of that soup - such a beautiful assortment of veg (love the cauli addition!)

You must make those puddings so pretty - lined up. I've not made them before - the chia is meant to be super filling. Hope you can make more and enjoy them!

[Guest_1055]

Hey Quince,

Hope it's okay to ask you. Are you living with anorexia? Feel free not to answer, it's all cool if you don't want to. No pressure.

Yeah about those statements... they are quite good aren't they. My sister sent me a list of all different ones. Those three stood out to me first and it is sort of where I am at, at the moment.

Everything seems sort of tied in and connected to food, how I look, feeling shame about my body, rejection, needing approval. Not feeling and knowing I am worth anything. I think it has to come from deep inside and not from any circumstances sort of thing. Like not based on what type of job, how I look, how others treat me and even how clean my house is.

I hope you are doing okay Quince. Please share more about yourself if you would like, but there is no pressure to do so at all.

And about the dirt... You mentioned something about that. Have you studied like soils and stuff? And I guess you can nurture soil or dirt, like add nutrients to it, compost to it and whatever to help it along and make it more healthy.

[Guest_1055]

Yes chia seeds can be filling, I think they swell up more when inside you. Plus they are a healthy fat, have omega 3 and think they may have protein as well.

Now you mentioned it that smoothie you drank does sound like an ice cream. Do you know what sort of coconut? Like flaked coconut, coconut oil or something?

[quince]

Hey Shelll,

I enjoyed reading your reflection on your relationship with food and worth etc. That sounds like the two are quite entangled, and I hope that in time you can see your inherent value regardless of your relationship with food. Are you working with a psychologist or similar on the difficulties you are having with food?

Thanks for checking in and no problem asking. I periodically read along, but I'm conscious that sometimes I might need to keep a bit of distance from weights, calories, and diets etc. According to my doctor, I have bulimia. My psychologist doesn't totally agree, and I think it's probably a bit of an "other" eating disorder.

For me, it is sometimes difficult to know what an appropriate amount of food is, so will second guess whether what I am eating is 'okay' or not. This is of course tricky because one voice says "it's too much" and the other says "to be healthy, you know that's not too much". Sometimes, it really is too much, and I eat compulsively.

I have been avoiding weighing myself lately because I don't like facing the fact that I am putting on weight. But my GP is emphasising health to me, and that it's important that's the direction my weight is going.

I am essentially aiming to eat according to the healthy eating guidelines, with three meals and two snacks per day.

Something that you and others might be interested to check out is The Moderation Movement - they have a facebook page. I love their philosophy on food and body image. They advocate for eating intuitively, and promoting healthy relationships with food (eg not condemning foods as bad etc). Worth checking out if anyone needs some inspiration.

Oh, and yes, I studied soil science at uni. Then got qualified as a chef. Sometimes I feel like it's the most ridiculous thing to be a chef with an eating disorder, but a counsellor I spoke to at the butterfly foundation told me it's not uncommon!

Hope you're all doing well.

x quince

[golden82]

Hi Shelll,

I think i was half asleep?? Sorry to read that you had a bad night. I don't sleep much; I want to and am tired but my mind just never seems to switch off these days.

I know a lot of you are posting your meals but do you also record your feelings at the time? You don't have to on forum but in a diary for yourself..

Just about the only good to come from so many inpatient and outpatient things is that they got me keeping what i call a food/mood. I have used it off and on and it helps me. Maybe you and others could try?

Also re your feeling bad for having chocolate days what about if you tried to flip it round. ie gave yourself permission - planned it into your day/night whenever you normally get it. And so you know it is coming, you can aim to buy a smaller amount, and what you really feel like at the time - just slow it down and take it all in and really try to tune into what you feel like that time. And most importantly when you do eat it actually allow yourself to enjoy and deserve it and try shut off the neg self talk and guilt or whatever comes up for you. Just an idea... not that what you are doing is wrong but you deserve to enjoy it and not beat up on yourself- you are worth it.

Everyone on here is worth it 🙂