*Trigger warning* Eating for Health and Wellness

[Guest_1055]

I have been struggling eating and eating healthy foods over the last couple of weeks. I really do not want to go back further to how I use to eat, that is eating junk food, takeaways, copious amounts of chocolate, processed junk and comfort eating.

Finding it challenging to stay motivated to actually prepare what I know helps me feel better mentally, emotionally and physically. Plus I have been feeling overwhelmed with other stuff happening in my life, which somehow makes it more challenging. The old unhealthy comfort eating thing is coming back. And I think I am getting concerned and scared about that. I so much do not want to go back to how I use to be. I was so sick. Plus I now have some physical things not right in my body , so I need to be more careful and mindful of what I eat. ( Pre cancer cells , high blood pressure )

I was eating really well since Febuary of this year, it’s just the last couple of weeks I haven’t.

So I would like to use this thread to help me be accountable to Beyond Blue people. So like a diary where I can post and report what I eat. And also any healthy eating tips, motivating strategies to help eat better or anything related to healthy eating for our bodies including our mental health.

[Hanna3]

Hi Shelll!

The diet was just healthy eating and I lost 8 kilos easily, but the trouble was he insisted on me having to stand on the scales in his consulting room every month to check I had lost one kilo at least per month, and I found this demeaning - I was not a bad weight, it was that I had borderline diabetes which went back to normal once I lost some weight. He meant well but it stressed me out having to have him check the scales each monthly visit! I got frantic about checking them myself virtually every morning...

Yep you're pretty right, I drink milk and snack on dark chocolate (now only 2 squares of 78% cocoa), it was cracker biscuits and peanut butter but I am managing to get off those (by not buying them to be in the house). I managed just a glass of milk and two squares of dark chocolate last night... Otherwise I have no trouble, breakfast is rolled oats with berries, a soft boiled egg and a coffee, nothing until lunch which is vegetable soup with maybe a temper tin of tuna and a yoghurt and half an apple, afternoon tea I must 'fess up is often a hot chocolate (it's freezing cold where I live - it snows), dinner is a healthy stew with noodles, no dessert, and a cup of tea later. Eeek, it's something about going to bed with a book and a snack!!!!

[Guest_1055]

Yep I like curling up with an old fashioned book and immense myself in a story whilst eating. Lately it has been with sultanas.

Your doctor was super thorough wasn't he 😊? At least you no longer have borderline diabetes. Did he sort of put fear into you then, like if you don't lose this weight you will possibly get diabetes sort of thing?

You do well to only eat 2 squares of chocolate. If it is a block of chocolate... especially the milk kind well I would not be able at this time in my life to stop at 2 pieces.

[Guest_1055]

Today was an okay day except for the chocolate. I am sorry I keep going on about it. If anyone is sick of hearing about it. Please tell me.

Breakfast...Smoothie with pineapple juice, frozen pineapple, frozen mixed organic berries and coconut yoghurt ( no added sugar)

Lunch... Falafels with lettuce, spinach, green capsicum, tomato, cucumber, carrot. And a dressing that had cashews, lemon juice, garlic powder, nutritional yeast, water, salt (blend until smooth)

Dinner.. 3 mandarines

Snack.. 1 small kitkat, 180gram pineapple chocolate block. 👎👎👎

Plan for tomorrow. I am going to make some chocolate chia puddings early in the morning, so when or if the craving hits me... well I will be ready.

[Guest_1055]

Feels a bit weird contemplating writing this and even strange to read it back aloud to myself. But I want to take on new beliefs about myself. I want to ditch the old harmful ones and replace these with new ones. I heard we can rewire our brains. Like change the neuro pathways.

I am scared though as I don't want to think too highly of myself, because it sort of sounds big headed, boastful, or maybe prideful. And I don't want that either.

I want to take better care of myself in every way. So if I start to believe I am valuable and worth it, then maybe I will. And also too start to believe and know deep down I am loved, then maybe I will not struggle with rejection so very much. Then won't turn to unhealthy food to fill that void.

So my aim is to read these 3 statements below aloud to myself often. Anyway here goes.

I am loved

I am valuable

I am forever free from shame or condemnation.

[Hanna3]

Hi Shelll,

No not really, I knew that borderline diabetes is usually cured by losing weight and more exercise... I think i'm finding that not buying anything that I tend to nibble on at night so that it's not in the house is helping - so I've got it down somewhat, I think maybe it helps to do it a bit at a time - first no peanut butter... after a little while no bikkies either... I'm hoping I can get to zero that way (athough a glass of milk at night helps to get to sleep so I will allow that! (smiley face) I still would like not to want anything at night!!! I can't imagine these rather difficult times are helping anyone manage their eating, it's generally a bit stressful these days isn't it...

[quince]

That's really great Shelll. I love those statements, and think that's such a good way of taking back some power from the disordered eating voice. Hopefully in the difficult times, you can think of these statements and challenge the more critical thoughts that might come up.

Hanna3 - I have to be weighed by my GP too, and I get how uncomfortable it is. This morning he weighed me and I didn't want to look, but also really wanted to know. So tough. In the end, he didn't give me numbers but summarised how I'm going. Still hard to hear, but I'm wondering if that's something you could negotiate with your doctor so there's not so much emphasis for you on numbers, and obsessing about checking your weight everyday? I'm a strong believer in emphasising health over numbers. Just a thought.

[Guest_1055]

Ah I think I understand, he was stating the obvious to you.? Have I understood now

[Guest_1055]

Hi Quince!

[golden82]

Hi Shelll,

I have been following this thread for several weeks now and appreciate how open and supportive you and Sleepy are with each other and everyone. I have been too scared to post because I have severe longstanding anorexia and although I am not in denial about it, it warps my mind to think I am doing okay (just because I am doing better than I have done in the past). But then I read all the meals ppl have and I recognize how messed up mine really is, and no wonder I have no energy etc.

I hope this doesn't trigger anyone, but today being a Monday I had:

10.30am 100ml juice with my vitamins

b/w then and next meal - had 2 herbal teas and 1 black coffee

4.15pm 2 coffees with added milk

9.30-10pm 2 decaf coffees with added milk; 1 big Pink Lady apple; 40g trail mix

I did drink some water through day also. And choose a Pink Lady thanks to your comments - mine was a bit yuk though - I don't know if because in SA?

This is an improvement on my previous 7 years where I have survived on just the liquids - milk coffees - and been hospitalized so many many times. So this is where my mind tricks me that I am eating so much now. It is a horrid illness. Lots of permanent damage I have done to body - and mind. I know I will never be free of it - but do hope to bit by bit not be so stuck and scared to add more food. I know it will kill me otherwise - and how lucky I am it hasn't done so already. (Nearly has 7x in these 7 yrs)..

My brain knows food is medicine and nutrition to fuel your body etc - I have been/still am just so stuck. But I pray that with checking in here occasionally and trying to make some of those beautiful sounding drinks of yours and other ideas from each of you - that I can start to make some changes - scary, but with this support thread I feel more likely than without.

Kudos to you for your insight of how you feel about yourself and the connection to eating. That is something the eating clinics/hospitals ignore and they make it all about rapid weight gain and following the rules - which have punishments if you do not get through a meal on time etc. But I totally agree with you and can see that if you (we) all value ourselves and treat ourselves with compassion regardless of anything - then we nourish our bodies and minds and that positive reinforcement cycle continues. Also allow for those chocolate days of yours - eventually it will settle - just be kind and accept it as your way of coping for now - don't put too much pressure on yourself 🙂

[broken568]

Hi Shelll, and everyone else 👋🏻,

’Bee’ sounds nice... with happy, helpful, harmonious associations 🐝

So glad to hear that your headache has eased.

Love the sound of that delicious salad dressing you made... I’ve copied it down and intend to give it a go... can just imagine how well it would pair with falafels... do you have a good recipe to share? I’ve never made falafels but I love them in a kebab or in a salad sandwich.

Yes, Miss 14 is still raving about her first shift at the patisserie and she’s counting the hours until next Sunday morning rolls around. She got to fold cardboard food containers, make salad sandwiches, serve customers, work the till, froth milk, wash dishes and carry trays of pastries... and loved every minute of it.

She only had one mishap where she dropped a tray with three choc-filled pastries. Wasn’t such a bad thing as the tray fell on the floor and the pastries landed on the tray. The boss whisked the pastries away into the back office and then Miss 14 was allowed to eat one for free - how’s that for turning bad luck into good luck!

I started at 98.6kg... the heaviest I’ve ever been in my whole life, including pregnancies. I’m aiming to get under 70kg so that’s lose 30 kilos and I’d like to lose at least 12 by the end of the year. So far I’ve lost 1.3 kg

Weighing in with my GP once a week suits me because otherwise I’d be obsessing over my scales at home every day and the inner critic would have me despondent very quickly. My GP is the loveliest lady and very empathetic. She’s strong and encouraging whilst really understanding the struggle.

last week when I had a good loss she squealed with delight and threw her arms around me! She even sent me a text of encouragement the next day

I think I’ll post my weigh-ins every Friday if people don’t mind... and I hope the accountability factor will be helpful. I’d love to have you join me.

cinnamon is indeed a magnificent aroma... and you’re right about making a healthier version of the apple muffins... perhaps with Greek yoghurt and ground oats... sweetened with apple purée... maybe a few tiny dark choc chips too.

Today’s Food Diary:

Brekky meal replacement shake

Lunch mandarin and a travel coffee as I had a 4 hour drive

Dinner Miss 14 cooked sausages, cheesy mashed sweet potato, steamed greens (beans, broccoli, snow peas) & garlic bread

No snacks and only drinks of water.

...bee 🐝