*Trigger warning* Eating for Health and Wellness

[Guest_1055]

I have been struggling eating and eating healthy foods over the last couple of weeks. I really do not want to go back further to how I use to eat, that is eating junk food, takeaways, copious amounts of chocolate, processed junk and comfort eating.

Finding it challenging to stay motivated to actually prepare what I know helps me feel better mentally, emotionally and physically. Plus I have been feeling overwhelmed with other stuff happening in my life, which somehow makes it more challenging. The old unhealthy comfort eating thing is coming back. And I think I am getting concerned and scared about that. I so much do not want to go back to how I use to be. I was so sick. Plus I now have some physical things not right in my body , so I need to be more careful and mindful of what I eat. ( Pre cancer cells , high blood pressure )

I was eating really well since Febuary of this year, it’s just the last couple of weeks I haven’t.

So I would like to use this thread to help me be accountable to Beyond Blue people. So like a diary where I can post and report what I eat. And also any healthy eating tips, motivating strategies to help eat better or anything related to healthy eating for our bodies including our mental health.

[Guest_1643]

HI shelll - don't like seeing that you feel upset. Sorry I don't know how to make it feel a little better. I'm grateful to read your food diaries and be here - i hope you can feel better and not feel too badly

[Guest_1643]

today - didn't eat most of the day - first food in the afternoon

ate a croissant with a coffee

then had a lasagna with salad and edmame beans as a snack

snacked on carrots, nuts, feta cheese + crackers

[Guest_1055]

Some of my thoughts today..

Been thinking about rejection and taking care of myself especially in regards to what I eeat.

When I start to feel rejected by a certain person. And it appears to be mostly this same person. It could be their behaviour towards me or their tone of voice they use when speaking to me. It could be a certain look they send my way. Or not even looking at me at all. It could be they spend all their day attending to and focusing on other things in their life. It could be they chose to sit with someone else instead of chosing to sit with me. It could be they don't respond to something I may have said. It could be they are talking in a room with a few people and have eye contact with them but not with me. If could be they are texting a women from their work. It could be they don't do or say anything when I am crying. It could be they are making themselves a hot drink and don't offer me one.

All these are coming to my thoughts at the moment. I want to bring them out into the light and no longer want to keep them hidden inside my heart.

If I believe I am being rejected by this person's behaviour towards me.... I then feel sad. I then feel like I am not worth loving. I then feel not beautiful. I then feel like a nobody a nothing. And sometimes even like a piece of dirt.

Then maybe I think well... okay I am not worth loving. Not worth taking care of myself. Not precious enough to love myself. I mean what is the point of taking care of yourself if I believe I am not worth anything or have no value. What does it matter if I abuse myself by not eating the foods that I know will nourish my body. Dirt does not have a lot of value. Dirt as in the rubbish kind. Not some that you plant flowers in.

Anyway as the sadness from the belief that I am just not loved by this person overtakes me, I turn to the junk food. Junkfood is stuffed down into that empty place in me where love should be.

So yeah these are my thoughts at the moment.

More thoughts are popping in my head.

Also I know the type of junk food I crave is the physically and biologically addictive kind.

[Guest_1055]

Ah thankyou Sleepy. I will be okay.

You snack on carrots and edamane beans. They are good choices you chose.

[Guest_1055]

Telling myself the truth..

Quote:

"The belief about yourself determines your behaviour"

Sleepy or anyone else reading have any thoughts on that quote? I am interested to know

[Guest_1055]

Today

Breakfast... none

Snack... 280gram chocolate that I bought last night.

Lunch... Leftover Brussel sprout and red cabbage slaw.

Smoothie ( carrot, beetroot, celery, apple juiced. Then blended with banana and pineapple, flax seeds)

Dinner... Curried vegetables and brown basmati rice.( potato, carrot, cauliflower, peas, tomato, onion, garlic and spices and cashews)

Juice.. Celery, pear, apple, spinach, lemon

Junk.. 165 gram bag Tyrrells chips. 50 gram toblerone

[broken568]

Hello,

Two weeks ago started trying to lose weight. I write down everything I eat or drink in a diary and I weigh in every Friday. Last Friday I only lost 100g. Today I was 1.2 kilos lighter.
I hope next week the numbers keep going down.
Is it okay if I start writing my food diary here?

[Guest_1055]

Hey

Yes of course you may. Write away. Write anything that you believe will help yourself.

I am quite happy to cheer you on if it helps

[broken568]

Thanx Shelll, I’d appreciate the encouragement plus any advice you can offer.

Breakfast1 meal replacement shake

Lunch chicken sandwich

Tea chicken sandwich

Snacks banana & mandarins

Drinks water, soda water, 2 white wines

Cigs 7 - so far!

[quince]

Hey Shelll,

I've been reading a little of this thread, and just had some thoughts on your recent post about rejection. I also have an eating disorder of a different kind, but I can really relate to a lot of what you write. I'm really sorry that you're struggling with food, and feelings of worthiness. I think one of the most difficult things is to acknowledge and understand that we are worthy and valuable, regardless of the actions, thoughts or opinions of others. We're also worthy and valuable despite our own thoughts, actions and beliefs about ourselves. I often base my worth on my objective 'success' or being perfect, good enough etc, but it's important for me to remember that those things don't define my worth.

Also (as a soil science major), all dirt is soil, and all soil can be improved with nurturing. 🙂

Shelll said:

Quote:

"The belief about yourself determines your behaviour"

Sleepy or anyone else reading have any thoughts on that quote? I am interested to know

I think this is probably true to a point. If I feel terrible about myself, I am not going to look after myself. If I am able to be realistic about my beliefs, or see myself as a good person, I am more likely to be self-compassionate and take care of myself as I would a friend.

I do think we can change our beliefs about ourselves though. I have been through a significant episode of depression and come out the other side believing myself to be a very capable and valuable person. So I know that's possible. Even though I mightn't hold the same beliefs currently, I can see that it will be possible for me to change my beliefs once again. And hopefully my behaviour will reflect that.

All the best,

quince. x