Three self-care things you did today!

[ecomama]

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care.

Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps!

Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too.

Best wishes
EM

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hi all,

Bidding a fond farewell to EM. I want to keep this thread alive in your spirit, I think it's a really important thing for all of us. Granted I'm not here as often as I could be, I try to keep an offline log of my self care, but sometimes it's good to be accountable to others and encourage others to care for themselves, too.

Here are my self cares:

- Planned a day of errands to finish up with a date with my husband (LM) as a motivator to get out of the house. It was a good date, we had nice food and talked about our hobbies.

- Chose to do the bare minimum of jobs around the house today, as I was feeling very overwhelmed after being out all day and having our online grocery order to put away when we got back (I only put away the cold things - the rest of it is a future me problem).

- Had a lie down after putting away the shopping.

Blue. 

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Blue,

That’s a nice thought to keep EM’s thread going.

 I like the idea of choosing the bare minimum jobs. Sometimes we have to prioritise ourselves. I’m learning that it’s really ok to sometimes leave the dishes overnight when I’m just too tired or overwhelmed to do them.

For me today:

1. Looked at options about getting a rescue dog which I’ve been considering on and off for some time.

2. Had a nap in the afternoon when my body told me I really needed it.

3. The nap gave me the energy to go for a walk. It rained several times which was actually lovely as it helps me feel alive. When it got really heavy I’d shelter under a tree which made me stop and appreciate the tree and the beautiful wildflowers around it. The last tree was low down. A small bird was darting about very close to me. I then heard chirpy noises and realised there must be a nest. Then I saw it was only a metre from me - a well camouflaged nest containing baby birds. I only looked briefly so the parent didn’t worry I was a predator about to eat the babies. It gave me a real feeling of hope and wonder which is just what I needed.

2. 

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey Eagle Ray and everyone,

This thread is one of the best, in my opinion, for the Staying Well section. Self care is so important. 

It's absolutely okay to put your well-being above dishes if you're too tired to deal with them! All your self cares are really good, rest and nature time are among the best things we can have for ourselves.

My self cares:

- Discovered a focus mode on my phone. I can set it to not show me reminders or social media messages when I go to bed, to restrict access to distracting apps, so I don't get sucked down that rabbit hole at bed time when I just want to read my e-books.

- Organised a walk with my mother in law. It ended up raining and she didn't want to walk, but we had coffee and a light meal. I walked by myself afterward because rain doesn't bother me terribly much and had a lovely time watching birds. Even saw a bunny.

- Talked to Lifeline (by web chat, which I am so thankful for, being someone who does not do well with phone calls) when I wasn't feeling so great.

Kind thoughts to everyone, 

Blue. 

[anonymous_username]

1) I relaxed and let myself enjoy the sun

2) I had a nice shower and washed my hair
3)I got ready for tomorrow as well as I could

Hbu

[Juliet_84]

I find other people’s reaction to my self-care the hardest part. My partner’s family act as though I’m this self-indulgent princess because I try and do a few things a week that feed my soul. I have a narcissistic mother who also made me feel guilty for ever taking up space or saying how I felt (so I have a lot of problems with people pleasing and saying no to things or people overstepping my boundaries and taking advantage). This week my self-care activities were:

1. sports game

2. book club

3. lunch with a friend 

[Eagle Ray]

Juliet, I hope by posting here you get to feel support expressing those self-care things you are not getting support for from some others. It’s so important to do those things that feed your soul.

Anonymous_user, those sound like good self cares.

Hey Blue, you are right, this is a really important thread that helps to really see where we are able to support ourselves in our lives. I hope you are doing ok? The web chat option for Lifeline sounds interesting. Having never called help lines until recently I’ve done it a few times now but I sometimes struggle with real time verbal communication, so will consider web chat if I need to contact them again.

I had to struggle to think of self cares today, but realised they were:

- bought ingredients for tomorrow night’s dinner at supermarket

- went for a late afternoon walk

- watched tv for a bit this evening to unwind

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hi all,

Welcome to Anonymous and Juliet, and good work on your self cares. Juliet, I'm sorry to see you have had people actively discouraging you from taking care of your needs. Unfortunately, many of us hear on the forums have experienced that at various times of our lives and it can be hard to work against the voice that lingers, even when the person(s) responsible for that behaviour are gone. You absolutely do have a right to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. I hope you find this space safe and encouraging to help you do just that.

Eagle Ray, thanks for asking how I'm doing. Struggling a bit, but getting by. As for the webchat, if you Google Lifeline it's one of the first things that comes up, very easy to find. Having that option helps me so much, as making calls is in my top five most prohibitively exhausting and painful things to do, so I just wouldn't end up reaching out without it, it would be too much for me. Good work with your self cares, too.

My self cares:

- Admitted defeat on a particular phone call I had to make and couldn't force myself to do (it was kind of "homework" for an upcoming appointment). Told my carer's coach my homework wasn't done and he offered to help me with it tomorrow. Wish me luck!

- Looked into a couple of things online for my mental and physical health, sent an e-mail related to one of those.

- Readied things for my husband to manage for a little while on his own in the morning so I could sleep in a bit. It didn't go perfectly, but bought me an extra hour of rest.

Kind thoughts to everyone,

Blue.

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Blue,

 I hope the homework went well. I’m glad the carer’s coach helped out and that you are getting some support in the carer role which can be so full on. Self-care matters more than ever when in a carer position. Thinking of you and sending you gentle support.

My self-care today was:

- getting a haircut 

- going for a nature walk

- treating myself to banana bread and a hot chocolate 

[quirkywords]

Juliet I have the same reaction from my family as I am seen as selfish and lazy.

1- accepting that things change

2-being kind to myself

3- looking after myself when physically ill

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hi all,

Thanks Eagle Ray, your support means a lot. Homework is a work in progress, but it's less to do than before, so I'll take the win. Definitely hard getting self care in as a carer, but I'm trying. Great stuff on your list, hope you're feeling good about your haircut. 🙂

Mine for today:

- Attended an appointment I've rescheduled a few times.

- Got a label maker and a few other stationery items that have been on my to-do list for ages (I probably shouldn't be trusted to just get one thing in a shop that sells stationery, haha). Energy was quite depleted after that, so decided to do the below instead of the other errands on my list.

- Went for a walk in a big park near home after, and saw lots of birds, including sulfur crested cockies, rainbow lorikeets and rosellas. 🙂

Kind thoughts to all,

Blue.