Three self-care things you did today!

[ecomama]

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care.

Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps!

Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too.

Best wishes
EM

[Eagle Ray]

Thanks Blue re: the minimalist thread. I will have a read. I think I’m trying to minimise in a few ways. I have plenty of stuff to sort through. I’ve already taken quite a bit to local charities, but more to go. But in a non-materialist sense I’m definitely trying to minimise my life in terms of feelings of obligation, especially in relation to things I’m really not responsible for. Part of this is me learning to say no to others often wanting me to meet their needs/wants when it’s really not my responsibility. So I’m kind of pruning attachments to people, or their unhealthy attachment to me as a kind of substitute parent, if that makes sense. This is self preservation on my part and the removal of codependency from my life (patterns from childhood got me caught up in co-dependent situations which I’m really starting to effectively shift now). I’m content with just a few healthy relationships in my life rather than a lot of unhealthy ones.

My self-cares:

1. Got some of my gardening done. I’m learning to celebrate the small achievements and recognise I can’t do everything I’d like to in a day.

2. Decided to say no to another request from someone, recognising it’s coming from a needy place in them and them using me to get their needs met. I’m getting wiser to this and learning to act based on what I need to protect my own well-being rather automatically responding to their needs when I have finite energy.

3. Decided not to worry about some things I don’t have much control over that came up today.

[quirkywords]

Learn from last year concentrate on the now, and look forward to the future. 

[Eagle Ray]

1. Went for a lovely late afternoon walk. There were lots of families enjoying the outdoors which I really enjoyed seeing.

2. Watered my garden as the sun was going down. I really enjoy this time of day. A young magpie and several honeyeaters came to enjoy the spray from the hose.

3. Helped a neighbour with a computer problem. I was able to resolve it which made us both happy.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

Hey ER,

Great work with minimising. I think a lot of people don't realise that those non-material things you mentioned are absolutely part of minimalism. A huge part. The basic premise is removing things from your life that aren't doing you any good to make room for what does. So ditching toxic relationships and unhealthy obligations are absolutely part of it, it's great you're able to do that. Re that codependency pattern from childhood, are you familiar with schema therapy? I've definitely had a pattern of attracting neglectful people into my life, and that stems from my upbringing - it set in motion a schema/pattern that kept repeating. The therapy revolves around breaking those patterns and maybe has some ideas we don't have from inside them to help along the work we've started by ourselves.

On a side note, I love hearing about your walks and encounters with birds. 🙂

My self cares:

- Decided to start wearing some of my nice clothes even if it's just to a hospital appointment. I'm tired of looking plain and like everyone else just because I'm tired and have nowhere special to go most of the time. I want to express myself with bright colours and fun styles that reflect me, like I used to. I hate how bland my look has become in recent years.

- Bought some new bright clothes, including a pink tartan skirt that I really love wearing.

- After burning out super hard from having to be out of the house too many days in the last week, declined some social plans and made space for myself to do nothing for a couple of days and recharge. That meant lots of sleep, ready meals or take-away instead of cooking, no housework that wasn't absolutely unavoidable, Loops in, lights low, letting myself stim. It's helping.

Blue.

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Blue

Yes I am familiar with schema therapy. A previous psych I went to used it. It didn’t gel with me at the time but I think it was how it was delivered by that psych who had a combative style of interaction that I found stressful. So that no doubt coloured my experience of schema therapy. But I can see how it can be useful and how we can repeat schemas learned in childhood. I’m now working more somatically with my body and letting my intuition guide me in terms of what feels right and I think that then is indirectly shifting schemas.

 I loved reading about you choosing to wear nice, colourful clothes. It is just great to get enjoyment from expressing yourself, and it’s lovely to do that in all kinds of contexts. Given hospitals can feel clinical and kind of dull, I feel like you’re bringing some joy and brightness to that environment by dressing colourfully that will help others to feel brighter too.

It’s great you are giving yourself a couple of days break and doing what you need to do to recharge.

My self-cares:

1. Organised payment for a course I want to do next month.

2. Decided on pumpkin soup from a packet tonight as just too tired to cook.

3. Listened to and watched some music clips by artists I like and whose songs inspire me.

[Not_Batman]

1. Phoned lifeline for some guidance

2. did some work on a project with my son when i got home from work.

3. went on a family walk

[sbella02]

I still love this thread so much.

1. Worked on my 2023 diary/planner
2. Hair-care
3. Night swim!

[Eagle Ray]

Really nice to hear of your self-cares Not Batman and Sbella.

For me:

- lay in bed and cried and rested for much of this morning because I needed to, still releasing a lot of grief.

- went for a nice ocean swim which can have a transformative effect just being immersed in the salt water and the good energy it creates.

- listened to some songs I find healing.

[sbella02]

Eagle Ray, I hope you're doing well, we're always here to support you if you need... sometimes a good cry can be so therapeutic, especially if you're finding ways to express grief. I agree, music is another great way of dealing with grief and sadness.

My self-care activities for today:

1. Currently on a little holiday getaway trip
2. Treated myself to a lovely frozen mango cocktail
3. Skincare

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you so much SB 🙏

I hope you’ve had a lovely holiday. It can be so renewing having a break away. The mango cocktail sounds yummy too.

For me today:

1. Had a lovely walk in nearby parkland. Felt a good energy in the wind, the trees and the lake where the wind made interesting patterns on the surface.

2. Practised not being scared of people. I’ve had a lifelong fear of people and situations stemming from early complex trauma and finding that I’m finally learning to de-escalate fear in myself and reassure myself that everything’s ok.

3. Bought myself a second sushi roll for lunch because the first was so yummy and they weren’t that big and I was still hungry 😋