The skill of worrying or minding less? How is it achieved? What does it mean?

[quirkywords]

Yes you read the title correctly,

How do we mind less ,

How do we learn not to worry over every thing,

How do we stop getting upset over every comment we feel is not positive.

I would like to discuss ways people have learnt to stop worrying about small things,and

how to not mind about what other people think.

Also how can we stop being reactive and turn that into creative response, not sure how to do this but others may have an idea.

Sometimes we can get angry over lots of things and it is hard to learn how to channel that anger.

I know the more I let things get to me, the worse I feel.

I have always tried hard to do mindfulness but I still struggle.

Maybe if I can stop minding about things that don’t matter I can stop overthinking.

I would like this thread to be a place where we can exchange ideas and share personal experiences about what works for them and what does not.

Feel free to post and let’s get the discussion going.

Quirky

[quirkywords]

CMF

Do you mean that you are so busy at the moment that other things that normally worry you don’t have space in your mind. 

[Fiatlux]

5-11-2018, the day you posted, I started writing and keeping a journal.

I had been reading a lot about mindfulness and meditation and practicing what I had learnt.

I also decided that I would start putting myself first.

This has helped me survive the awful events that I have experienced these past 4 years.

It may not work or even be practical for everyone, but I stopped caring about those who have harmed me. This includes people within my own family. 

[CMF]

Hi Dear Quirky,

Yes that's exactly what I mean. I just done have tge capacity to care. My brain is saying NO. No room for anything else right now.

Cmf x

[quirkywords]

Fiatlux

thanks for sharing what works for you.

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Quirky

I like your post and can relate in that I’m sensitive and find myself worrying about things, including things that are often small in the scheme of things but can feel big.

One thing that has helped me is getting curious about my own reactions and why they’re there. This often leads me to explore what’s happening within me, taking me out of at least some of the worry/overthinking zone. Sometimes I can then start to link up the worrying response with particular memories, learned childhood patterns etc. So I might still be thinking but in a constructive, curious way that starts to shift things, rather than overthinking over the same neural pathways again and again.

My psychologist often asks me where I’m feeling something (such as worry/anxiety) in my body. I often then feel where I’m holding tension (could be throat, solar plexus, shoulders, arms etc). I then realise that’s where an emotion has gotten trapped. I’m then able to release some tension from that place and that can help to alleviate the worry, either fully or partially, or it begins a process of release over time from a chronic pattern of worrying about certain things. It’s like my body habitually learns a different pattern over time. Breathing in and then letting go of the tension on the out breath can help.

It’s a work in progress but I find it does seem to help me, especially through awareness and curiosity.

[quirkywords]

Eagle Ray

i like the idea of being curious about one’s reaction rather than accepting.Thanks for you helpful post. 

[CMF]

Hi all 

Eagle Ray, I love the idea of releasing the tension from where it is trapped. It makes sense. 

Thanks

[quirkywords]

Cmf

the more I read eagle rays post the more helpful ideas I find. 
yes releasing the tension from where it is trapped is helpful So e times I need to find where it is trapped.

Eagleray I am still working on awareness and being curious rather than accepting. A work in progress. 

[Eagle Ray]

Hi, thank you CMF and Quirky. I’ve gradually learned there’s a lot I cannot solve by continuously mentally going over it. But by bringing awareness to what the body is doing I can go below the level of thinking to try and solve things and just feel instead, and then be curious about the feeling. Often simply awareness and curiosity are enough to release tension where I’m feeling it, and then the thing I’m worrying about just naturally releases instead of me ruminating in my head to try and solve it. Or once I’m in tune with the feelings in my body I can then use thoughts more constructively, like my mind and body are now working together, rather than just ruminating/worrying.

Whenever I start to go into my thinking/worrying brain my psychologist will say, “Where are you feeling that?”, which reminds me to come back into my body. It’s like a non-verbal, intuitive way to heal and resolve things. 

But it’s still a work in progress for me too. Gradually I get a bit better at it over time and it does make life easier. Less energy goes into worry and then that energy is more available for other things.

 I love the questions you raise Quirky as they lead me to reflect on different aspects of being human and how we can work through those things. 

[quirkywords]

Thanks eagle ray that makes sense. I need to try it.