The loneliness of hidden disabilities

[white knight]

We refer regularly to our internal battles of the recognition from others that our mental illnesses are indeed serious, just as much if not more do than physical restrictions.

Ok, I have bipolar2, dysthymia and depression. They all amount to serious social problems. But I can say that two other invisible problems cause me more social issues than those. Memory and hearing loss.

Long term memory is OK in me. Short term almost doesn't exist. Most people would have little idea the magnitude of memory loss. Those close to you, like all humans, automatically presume you remember what they told you an hour earlier. Eventually your cry for understanding becomes a scream..."I don't remember".!. Just like "I'm depressed"!.

Another one is partial deafness. Not suggesting full deafness is preferred at all but if fully deaf- sign language is essential. Partial deafness there are hearing aids. With my particular hearing problem, hearing aids do not assist me. The best example to highlight it is secondary noise. Someone is talking to me and the TV might be 7 metres away I can't hear the person speak or Visa versa which is more difficult to tolerate for my wife.

With both issues people can't adapt fully to the new requirements needed for normal family interaction. Can we blame them?. No we can't. They can't see our deficiency to remind them as a person with physical loss would eg wheelchair, arm in plaster...

This leaves us carrying more burden than our mental disabilities themselves, leading to a feeling of loneliness. It could also be the reason some of us talk excessively about our challenges. It seems our problems are more excessive than they ought to be. This could be why...

It wasn't that long ago we might have been institutionalised or kept in a cupboard. Things have improved but I'm at a loss how our invisible restrictions could be visible to family and friends.

A sign on my chest "hearing impaired, short term memory loss" or signs on others..."right eye blindness, dyslexic, OCD, PTSD, anxiety, would not be appropriate.

Do you have ideas on this?

Tony WK

[white knight]

Hi 9 names,

Thankyou so much. Your post made my day.

Tony WK

[Lytaz]

Your comments really resonated with me white knight, especially about why we focus on our invisible illnesses in conversations with others.

When I was younger I am ashamed to admit being impatient with people with multiple, invisible illnesses and quite dismissive when they'd explain their issues, as though they were weak or just embellishing the severity of things for attention.

Now the shoe is on the other foot and I feel the weight of irony when I am likewise dismissed or go unheard by friends, co-workers and employers and even family... 😕

Being misunderstood or put in a social box we don't belong in can be really harmful to our ego, our personal identity, which is why I think we do try and explain ourselves despite the constant negative results.

Alongside my severe refractory depression and GAD/phobias I have a non-fatal but physically and mentally debilitating illness, caused by my antidepressant, which I control with more drugs with their own, invisible side effects.

Like you, I have problems with short term memory and no matter what I say to people they never appear to understand.

"Write it Down" has gone from advice to a hated phrase. I forget to check lists even when they're in my vision, or I forget what I meant and my anxiety over forgetting makes a self-perpetuating cycle

My list of side effects includes immune-suppression (I can't be vaccinated, get sick very easily and chicken pox equals hospitalisation), syncope (aka fainting), dizzy spells, digestive issues, loss of higher cognitive function, a lowered pain threshold, poor temperature control, peripheral muscle weakness, episodes of partial deafness and sight loss, dysphoria, and other problems associated with very low blood pressure.

My depression and anxiety will always have the greatest impact but I've had more problems with employers and friends from the other invisible illnesses.

Do you ever find people's eyes glaze over when you're talking through these issues?

I wear an emergency assist bracelet, it's as close as it comes to physically writing on myself that I suffer from something unseen, even if people wrongly assume it's allergies. 😋

[white knight]

Hi lytaz,

Gee, here I was a while ago writing my first post of this thread based mainly around the invisible disability of poor short term memory...and you've listed so many more.

Thankyou for enhancing this thread to make us, the readers aware if so many more.

We cant provide clues to our invisible illnesses. We dont like broadcasting them either. We dont have a seeing eye dog (apologies to those with such visual impairment) or other means to display our restrictions.

It is a serious issue.

Ps. Recommend reading this thread regarding impatience.. Google. Topic: supermarket shelves- beyondblue

Tony WK

[Guest_128]

Hi all,

I have been trying to find a thread on

mental illness with learning disabilities?

I thought everything that is wrong with me was mental health. Apparently not.

i would like to work out what's what and try to help myself.

this is so selfish of me.

names

[white knight]

Hi names

Not selfish at all. I cant recall a thread on learning difficulties.

Sorry

Tony WK

[quirkywords]

Tony

Thanks for this interesting thread.

In last year or so I have been having trouble with thinking of very easy words and it is so frustrating. Of course I worry it may be early dementia but maybe could be medication. Not sure if that is similar to what you Kazzl have?

Short term memory mine is getting worse.

I think what I have learnt is to be patient with myself and others and never to judge a book by its cover.

I also can't tell my right from my left which is one reason I never learnt to drive.

9 names later

that sounds like it would be an interesting thread.

quirky

[Guest_128]

Hey White Knight, Tony,

I don't know how to contact you other than this,

I would like to start a thread called something like;

Learning Disability ,Mental Health and memory loss?

Then post my story?

not it sure where to put it or if name is correct ?

Or if you would rather it say here?

Would like your imput please.

regards

Later

[white knight]

Hi later,

Most of my threads are in the section called "staying well"

At the top of the page of forums it says :all threads or topics" go to that then find staying well, click on that then click on "new thread"

Give it a go. You post could help others and remember, for one reply there could be dozens of people that read it but dont reply.

Tony WK

[Guest_128]

Hi Tony WK and all,

I started a thread, Learning Disabilities, Memory and mental health.

Just thought I would let you know.

Hope you are well and keeping warm.

Later

[white knight]

Thanks later