Breaking the mental tension

[highlysensitivepersonhsp]

I felt so much tension in my head. The metaphorical black cloud darkened my skies. Nothing I did would change the weather up there. I did the washing, but I wasn't really present. I kept having these thoughts, thoughts about not being who I wanted to be. About what role I would like for myself. Telling myself that if only I was somebody then I would be happy.

In truth, I came to this forum seeking to be someone. To teach. To share. To gain something for myself. Perhaps a reputation. But as I read through the posts I was humbled. The bubble of ego I lived in burst. I couldn't believe how bad so many of you are feeling. How much suffering there is right here, let alone in the world. And how grateful I am for my tale of survival.

Suddenly, the tension broke and the black clouds were lifted. Gratitude and humility cleared the air. I am just so grateful for surviving the horrors of mental illness. I don't want to feed my ego anymore. I want to remain humble. I hope to maintain this new mindset. To live with blue skies and a lightness of being.

[MarkJT]

hsp, what a brilliant post yours is. Gratitude is just such a powerful emotion to have and to recognise.

Now you are 15 posts into your beyondblue forum journey and as you point out there is so much suffering in here but there is also so much happiness and I point to your post as being one.

You start off being a lost soul but you end walking in sunshine and there will be so many people who will read your post and get so much out of it. You are changing other peoples lives and that, is one seriously powerful thing to do.

I highly encourage you to post away in here or other threads or start your own thread as i sense you have something special lying right in front you, the ability to truly help others.

Mark.

[Wheremengo]

It's great your looking from the other side now , but now you can use your knowledge to assist others this is what has happened to me. I found that I was also humbled when reading the posts and being a part of the mental health system never let go of what you were just embrace who you are.