Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

[quirkywords]

Do you have an inner critic ? Have you ever tried to talk to your inner critic. This is what happened when I tried. In my Be yourself thread people asked about how I interviewed my inner critic. So here it is.

This is adapted from a writing exercise to interview your inner critic about one's writing. As my inner critic has an opinion all aspects of my life I decided to broaden the scope of the interview.

Me: I welcome (well I don't really) this opportunity to find out why you always need to have an opinion that is always negative about me and my life.

IC: I thought this was going to be a friendly interchange of ideas but there you go with your anger and hostile remarks. I do not see myself as negative but as helping you, because you do need help.

I am here to help you why can't you see that?

Me: So when I am trying to sleep and you tell me about all my mistakes, embarrassing moments, how does that help me?

IC: I thought while you are in bed you would have time to consider some of your past behaviours. This I feel will only help you to improve.

Me: If you are so helpful why do I feel so worthless, so sad, so ignorant when you are around? Do you really know how low I can feel when you are constantly telling me all my faults?

IC: You make yourself feel that way- I am merely pointing out the truth. It is not my problem that you are so weak.

Me: Maybe this was a bad idea you are never going to listen to me or understand me.

IC: Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't listen to me if I upset you so much.

Me How can I ignore you when you are so loud at times.

IC: See this is what I mean you are so weak. You have the power to ignore me, to silence me but all you do is whinge and complain.

Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough.

What would you say to your inner critic and what do you want to hear from your inner critic? Maybe you can have a go at interviewing your inner critic.

Quirky

[sister moon]

hi quirky,

how is the mindfulness going?

Yes my default mode definately prone to self doubt and criticism. I think it is worse when I am unable to stay in the moment. My inner critic was getting so loud earlier I found myself googling "am I a bad person" and taking quizzes to try to give weight to the counter argument. My inner critic getting so loud at the moment.

I'm interested to hear how the mindfulness is going... I have found it helpful in the past but struggling to get back into it.....

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Sister moon,

Thanks for your post.

i am finding the mindfulness a bit of a challenge and wondering when I can stop being distracted, My inner critic says geez you can’t even do something simple like mindfulness well of course not .

I google questions all the time, How do I stop worrying about things that I should have stopped worrying about?

Thanks

Quirky

[sister moon]

Hi Quirky,

Your inner critic and my inner critic sound like palls. That is exactly how I think at the moment about myself when I try to do mindfulness. However I give myself an additional hard time because I had been able to do it a few years back and i do think it helps... but I just can't do it! So I'm all like You've had this tool, but you're too stupid to have kept using it and if you only kept using it you wouldn't have got yourself in such a mess in the first place. And now you can't even stay mindful for 30secounds! and on and on and on....

Maybe we should send our inner critics out to have a cuppa together so they can just gossip about how hopeless we are behind our backs rather than inside our heads. I am sure they will have a great time and maybe leave us in peace. Or maybe they could play table tennis or something... till they get tired.. then we could just pop our feet up without all that negative self talk making us feel like dirt. Because we are not dirt, we ROCK!

[Guest_093]

hi'yall I like ur last post sister moon, send the inner critic and self doubt all on a holiday and leave us in piece for awhile that is so good, I wish we certainty could, actually that is a really good suggestion about talking back to the evil buggers, mine are with me every minute of every day so very tiring, doing a lot of relaxation breathing and 'I've got this' or I am starting to when they are extremely loud and boisterous just doing sums or multiplications or even when stocking the fridges out back that is when they are really full on for me I try to focus on what I need @ the moment for the fridge, say a can of coke and just repeat over and over the drink I need for the time and they do subside for a little while and I just continue on with my relaxation breathing anything to keep my brain occupied with positive things or keep it entertained. Do these suggestions help at all? All the best for today! Luv Spitfire1

[quirkywords]

Hello all,

I welcome your thoughts and your post to this thread.

Your suggestions are very helpful and Imlike the way to take time and you keep trying and are dertermined to stop those voices.

Thanks so much

quirky

[quirkywords]

A question for everyone.

When do you find it the hardest to ignore your inner critic and when is it at its loudest and most demanding?

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

No answers to my last question so I assume critics are quite or readers are overwhelmed or something in between.

I want to know how to stop my critic going overboard when someone says something they view as advice but I see it as negative feedback.

quirky

[Paw Prints]

Hello Quirkywords,

I find my inner critic is turbo charged by comments/observations from other people. The comments don't need to be directed at me, they may be about other people or even the speaker, they can be praise or criticism. My inner critic can still turn them into being a failing of mine. I don't know how to stop it.

Paw Prints

[quirkywords]

Hello all

Hi Paw Prints,

found your comment interesting. I suppose I sometimes feel for another if they are being unfairly picked on and then my inner critic may get mad that I did not speak up for them or indicate I am like that person being picked on and then itemise all my faults!

Generally I am more concerned with my criticism .

I would say to your inner critic what a sensitive kind person you are to care so much for others feelings .

How about others can you relate to what paw Prints wrote?

Quirky

[asdff]

When I'm not doing so well is when my inner critic is loudest. It's pretty demanding right now.

My thoughts are racing, I wish I could make them quiet.