Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?

[quirkywords]

Do you have an inner critic ? Have you ever tried to talk to your inner critic. This is what happened when I tried. In my Be yourself thread people asked about how I interviewed my inner critic. So here it is.

This is adapted from a writing exercise to interview your inner critic about one's writing. As my inner critic has an opinion all aspects of my life I decided to broaden the scope of the interview.

Me: I welcome (well I don't really) this opportunity to find out why you always need to have an opinion that is always negative about me and my life.

IC: I thought this was going to be a friendly interchange of ideas but there you go with your anger and hostile remarks. I do not see myself as negative but as helping you, because you do need help.

I am here to help you why can't you see that?

Me: So when I am trying to sleep and you tell me about all my mistakes, embarrassing moments, how does that help me?

IC: I thought while you are in bed you would have time to consider some of your past behaviours. This I feel will only help you to improve.

Me: If you are so helpful why do I feel so worthless, so sad, so ignorant when you are around? Do you really know how low I can feel when you are constantly telling me all my faults?

IC: You make yourself feel that way- I am merely pointing out the truth. It is not my problem that you are so weak.

Me: Maybe this was a bad idea you are never going to listen to me or understand me.

IC: Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't listen to me if I upset you so much.

Me How can I ignore you when you are so loud at times.

IC: See this is what I mean you are so weak. You have the power to ignore me, to silence me but all you do is whinge and complain.

Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough.

What would you say to your inner critic and what do you want to hear from your inner critic? Maybe you can have a go at interviewing your inner critic.

Quirky

[CMF]

Hi Quirky,

Sorry to hear you are not feeling well but glad it s nothing too serious.

Take care

cmf x

[PamelaR]

Do hope your cough gets better. Have you been to the GP yet? Important, re cough. Unless it's a smokers cough.

Yeh, talk to me about procrastination, that's me with a capital P. Need to get the garden's ready to start some autumn planting. Tomatoes, avocados and pumpkins already popping up in the compost. Garden beds not ready. Need to transfer compost to veggie beds. Baaaaa. Have talked about it for weeks.

Hope your cough gets better soon. xxx

PamelaR

[Ggrand]

Hello Quirky,

Awe so sorry your not well.

When im sick, and just want to stay in bed, my inner critic tell me I'm not sick, to get up out of bed, get dressed, stop making excuses to be lazy, Keep going, of course I listen to it, when all I want to do is hibernate. My inner critic always seems to win..

I hope you get well soon, sending you some healing energy to hopefully make your recovery quicker..

Karen.

[startingnew]

hope you feel better soon Quirky xox

[quirkywords]

I am fine, thanks everyone for your kind words. I am fine just frustrated.

Do you think it is harder or easier when we are unwell to ignore our inner critic?

quirky

[startingnew]

thats an interesting question Quirky. i can see both sides to this. i find my IC becomes louder because i just cant be bothered arguing with it and find it rather draining however when im physically unwell i can accept a littl easier that fact im being abit more lazy than usual and acknowledge that i need to rest and rejuvenate so i can have the energy to do all the things that need to be done.

what about you?

[Quercus]

Definately harder. No doubt.

How are you holding up Quirky? Tell your inner critic from me if she is quiet and leaves you be I'll bribe her with chocolate. I am a firm believer in drowning the critic with tea and chocolate unfortunately. That's why I need to diet.

[quirkywords]

Hello all

Thanks Sn, I can see both sides like you. I dont get sick much so when I do can mad at myself and frustrated I feel so tired, Thanks for your reply.

My inner critic is not fooled by food bribes and it is off food at the moment anyway! Nat you answer made me smile. How are you?

No more self indulgent posts from me- so many really ill people not he forums yet here am I moaning- get so mad at myself!!

Quirky

[startingnew]

Abit of your IC coming out there Quirky....

[Quercus]

I was thinking the same thing SN.

Quirky I was wondering... what's wrong with being self indulgent? It doesn't mean you don't care for others just that you're recognising your own needs too.

My inner critic isn't alone today. She's brought the moral compass along to help break me down.

It is harder than usual because the moral compass wants me to be better than I am and the inner critic is using those arguments as evidence that I am a worthless human being.

Not sure if anyone has experienced this too so I'll share my thoughts and hope someone has ideas.

Critic: you're not smart enough.

Compass: you don't lack brains... You are just not trying hard enough to improve your knowledge.

Critic: because you're a poor excuse for a human.

Compass: not exactly just not meeting the expectations of others. Society is changing you need to be more caring of others.

Critic: you're too lazy to change and too selfish to care. Come on admit it. You don't care if you hurt others you just like the sound of your own voice.

Me: what's wrong with having a voice? It's better than being dead.

Critic: you know the answer to that. Nothing useful to say. Nothing genuine to give. The world wouldn't be any worse off without you. One less white trash sponge on humanity.

Compass: you do help others. You just need to try harder. You need to change for the better.

Critic: yep. Change. Erase yourself and do as you're told. If you're sticking around at least try and be useful.

Bleh. So sick of this internal discussion. Wish the dialogue in my head would just shut up.

To answer your question Quirky. I think many of us are struggling at the moment.

Thanks for letting me be self indulgent and get the crap in my head out. I hope it doesn't bring you down too.

Time to work. Physical work means the voices are too stuffed to harrass me.