Struggling to cope, please help.

[Guest_4643]

Hi, my name's Tayla and I'm 20. Relatively new to these forums, but I've commented on threads and made some of my own so far so if people could check this out and the others and reply it would mean a lot please, although I'm not forcing anyone.

I have a great Psychiatrist that I'm very thankful for and happy and comfortable with. However it can be a while in between sessions because he has other patients and other work to do, and other non Psychiatry work commitments with other work stuff he does.

I see my GP, but I don't find her as helpful as my Psychiatrist. Yes she's nice and sometimes she helps, but I don't know, I just don't feel like she helps me as much as my Psychiatrist does. I'm not trying to be rude or say anything mean about her, that's just how I'm starting to feel lately.

I live in a small town in Regional Victoria, about 4000 or so people. Lived up here for about 2 years, with my parents. I don't have any siblings, no friends online and in person and no family members apart from my Mum and Dad. They struggle some days too with depression etc also.

I can't do anything here. I've looked for jobs even asked in person and I'm always told no although I'm willing to learn. I've tried to join groups here and I'm always told I'm not allowed because it's for older people. I don't know why. I'd be grateful to join and try to be positive and laugh and meet people, and do whatever they do.

I also can't study because that's super expensive. All of the free courses I've looked up you need qualifications and certain things, for example you had to do a course prior to doing a free one, have to be a certain age and have certain skills, etc. So I don't. I don't have any Employment Agencies nearby, I do look things up online.

I'm not really a sporty person and sometimes I regret that. Even the local sports won't accept me though. Believe me I've tried everything I can.

I even called the local triage and the guy on the phone was so rude, refused to speak to me and help me and I was polite and just asked if I could come in for support because my Psychiatrist and I discussed that and he said I could give it a go. That made me feel so hurt and unwanted because I've never spoken to a triage before.

I went to the local Headspace Centre and was made fun of for my mental illnesses by the managers and group members. I complained and she lost her job. eHeadspace has always been rude and unhelpful to me too.

Please, please help. Anybody. I'm struggling so much.

Tayla.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Peppermintbach, apologies for just replying now.

Yeah to say I am really lonely would be an understatement but I'm used to it. Some days it doesn't bother me as much.

Thanks for your kind words. I've been quite Down lately but I guess I'll be OK. How have you been? I hope you're alright.

Yes I agree with you about the age gap, I mean age is just a number but I'd still like to have people my own age to hangout with, or teens atleast. No they're not friendly, I mean you might get the occasional nice person but it's like that everywhere mostly. I guess it's because everyone knows everyone in small places like this and when new people come it's hard, right? So people say anyway.

Yeah that lady I spoke to was nice, talking to her made me feel a bit better and inspired a little. It's nice to talk to random polite strangers regardless of their age and where you see them.

Thanks for checking in on me, I appreciate it and it means a lot. I hope you're OK yourself. I'm thinking of you also.

Love and hugs,

Tayla x

[Paw Prints]

Hello Tayla,

No it's not my dog in the pic, though my boy is a Great Dane. I picked it because it reminded me of when my boy was a pup & we went through a few couches that ended up like the one in the pic.

If you think you will struggle to read the book, then one thing you can do is read it for say 10 min a day or a chapter a day. If you do it in small bites its easier than trying to read it all in one go. Try & set a time to do your reading like "I'll read it for 10 mins & then I can go for my walk".

How are you doing with writing down your questions for your Psych. I see mine next week & I have a few things written down so I don't forget to ask.

I know you have said you like listening to music & that you're really not into reading, but are there any other interests you do have?

hugs

Paws

[Guest_4643]

Hi Paw Prints.

The book arrived today, I'll try to read some when I can.

I haven't written anything down for my Psychiatrist yet but I'll try to do that also.

Your profile pic is cute either way. And good luck with your Psych, I hope things go well for you.

No I don't really have any other interests apart from walking, colouring in, listening to music. That's all I can think of currently anyway.

Hugs back,

Tayla

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Tayla (and a wave to all),

It’s okay...there’s never any pressure or rush to write. Reply/write only when and if you feel up it. Gentle and easy does it 😉

Yes, of course it’s understandable that you would prefer to interact with your peers in your town...what you’re saying makes a lot of sense.

Sigh, I think that’s the tricky thing with loneliness. Professional support is important. Online support is great too. But I think most of us also need offline emotional/personal support & friendship as well.

I feel you know that already though...

I think, given your circumstances and given the way that most of your townsfolk seem to behave, you’re doing really well in terms of your attempts to make connections there 🙂

You’re going on your daily walks. You’re trying to start conversations with locals. You’re trying & you’re not self isolating. I think that’s brave & counts for something...

I read that you enjoy colouring. I think that’s a really soothing activity. Are you working on any particular images/colouring sheets at the moment?

I personally enjoy colouring when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed. It gives my mind something to focus on in a low pressure way...there are so many options with coloured pencils, gel pens, glitter pens, textas, etc 🙂

Thank you so much for caring and thinking of me. It has been a personally difficult time for me, but I’m managing in my own way.

Kindness & care,

Pepper

[Guest_4643]

Hey Pepper, thanks for responding again and for your nice words. I appreciate it all, and it means a lot.

Thanks for seeing things in that way that I'm brave and whatnot, I can't even see myself that way, so thank you. I suppose you're probably right. I've done everything I can. It's not that easy to move though and I'm worried it will happen in a new place too regardless of where and how big it is. But who knows I guess, I've been looking at places where there seems to be more things for teens and people in their 20s like me.

Yeah colouring is nice. I have a few colouring books and I haven't coloured in for a while but I've been colouring in my Johanna Basford Colouring Books, the last one I coloured in was her Johanna's Christmas Colouring Book. Her drawings are amazing and she has Youtube videos too, they're detailed but not too over the top, you know? There's also pretty simple things in her books to colour. I also like playing Happy Colour which is a free colour by numbers app on my iPad, you get achievements on there also such as colouring 5 pictures. It's fun and addictive.

I hope you're alright yourself, I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time. I'm here if you'd like to talk or just someone to listen, on this thread or anything you've commented on, or one of your own. Either way I'm here and I care, and I'm thinking of you. I'll do my best.

Love and hugs to you, and kindness and care back.

Tayla x

[Paw Prints]

Hi Tayla,

Just saw your post in the cafe. You do know your birds don't you, did you learn about them through school or have you taught yourself to recognise them. Back in my younger years there was something called the Gould League which used to go around to schools & teach the kids about birds, don't know if they still do. Lucky you seeing tawny frogmouths, they blend so well I find them next to impossible to spot. Do you have an interest in bird conservation / monitoring?

I get a variety of birds here because there is a dam near my house I get ducks, kookaburras, willy wagtails, fairy wrens, crows, rosellas, galahs, occasionally ibis & recently a young kestrel. I find sitting outside watching them very relaxing. Though I do have to keep my birdbath out the front so Woofa doesn't use it as his water bowl.

Hugs

Paws

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Tayla (and a wave to all),

You’re welcome 🙂 I truly believe, all things considered, you’re managing your loneliness with dignity, resilience & courage.

After all, it’s not your fault that there’s not much for your own age group there & that your townsfolk are sadly not very welcoming...it must be really hard on you though...the loneliness...

Yes, you’re right, I agree moving isn’t usually easy. It can be very stressful and overwhelming financially, physically and emotionally...the whole trifecta....

I think moving is always a gamble to a degree. Sometimes moving works out, & sometimes it doesn’t. But I think maybe some research and planning beforehand can help to reduce at least some of the risks associated with a big move?

That Christmas colouring book sounds really good! Basford’s colouring books are so popular! I’ve seen them in so many shops. I think it’s a very tranquil feeling when my marker, pencil or pen fills in a page with colour...

Thank you for being here and for offering your care, encouragement & support. I’m moved & appreciative 🙂 My heart is very broken, for a whole range of reasons, so it has been hard. Really hard.

Sigh, there’s a a simple quote that I really like, which says it all:

Just because I carry it all so well doesn’t mean it’s not heavy.

- unknown

I hope you’re being extra kind to yourself today, and that maybe you’ll get to go on some walks this upcoming weekend 🙂

Thank you for the hugs and some from me to you as well. Thinking of you...

Kindness & care,

Pepper

[Guest_4643]

Hey Paw Prints.

Yeah I love all animals (besides poisonous ones of course haha). Yeah I think I learnt about them in primary school, I can't remember. But I have this poster somewhere that my Mum got years ago aswell as a Bird Book (not sure where they are currently, probably in the Garage somewhere haha) that says the name of birds etc. Plus there's also a thing called "Aussie Backyard Bird Count" and you can find out the names of birds there. Yeah monitoring birds is nice, there's some wetlands around here. I see some Hawks flying around (well quite high up in the sky but I can tell that they're Hawks haha).

I see some other birds too that I'm not sure what they are, stuff like Egrets etc too.

That's awesome that you see heaps of birds too!

Love and hugs,

Tayla x

[Guest_4643]

Hey Peppermintbach.

Thank you for saying those kind words, it means a lot. I think the same about you and others I've spoken to.

Yeah Johanna Basford books are great, I don't have all of them yet but I have most of them. I haven't coloured in for a while. I have some other colouring books too such as Kaisercraft, etc. (got them for my birthday in November and Christmas).

I've been doing research about places to move - looking up what's around (shops, etc), looking at houses, all that stuff. I suppose also driving there and looking around helps even if it's a fair distance.

I'm sorry that your heart is broken, mine is too. I hope you feel better soon, I'm here if you'd like to chat about anything on any of the forum posts, including this.

Thinking of you also. Love and hugs, here if you need.

Tayla x

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Tayla (& a wave to all the lovely people here).

I hope you’re all taking good care of yourselves today 🙂

Tayla, thank you for your caring words of support and comfort. Also, I love hugs, so thank you for those as well. Hugs from me to you too 🙂

I love how proactive you’re being when it comes to researching a potential move. I think it’s a really good idea that you’re trying to get a feel for different areas.

I would also gently suggest maybe looking up the age distribution in different towns as well. Just to make sure that there they have a reasonable number of people in your age group...

I think driving around & visiting the places you’re interested in is a really good idea. I think sometimes it helps to be physically there to get a “feel” for the place.

Also, by being there, I feel you can possibly get a general idea about the level of friendliness/unfriendliness and openness of the area to newcomers 🙂

Basford’s books are world renowned! A friend gave me the secret garden colouring book as a present one year, which was thoughtful of her. I really appreciated it, as colouring helps me destress.

It sounds as through you’re having a tough time too. I can relate to the broken heart. I’m just taking it day by day, trying to get through each moment. Sometimes that’s the best we can do.

Hugs, kindness and care,

Pepper