Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, we had thunderstorms Christmas Day and again yesterday but nothing like they got on the Gold Coast! I felt sorry for the holiday makers on Christmas Day who obviously had planned Christmas lunch outdoors at the beach and they all looked extremely sodden!

Today it is already baking hot.  My poor pot plants.  It's reaching high 30s by mid-morning and everyone is having trouble coping with it.  Roll on autumn!

[Paw Prints]

Hello mmMekitty, ER, Hanna & anyone else reading along.

My paint by numbers is a picture of a white tiger's face. I am surprising myself with how little (basically not at all) I am being stressed by not getting it perfectly right & how relaxing I'm finding it. 

ER I like your idea of starting the day with doing something nice. I'm trying (still) to start the day early & go to bed early. I find I do best at getting things done in the early morning. So instead of being up all night & out of wack with the rest of the world by then sleeping through the day, my aim is to go to bed early enough that I get enough sleep to be up early & doing. Like you I'm discovering I'm in a better place all day when I achieve that. 

mmMekitty I think we could all gather beside the BB cafe lake to have our breakfast, that is always a lovely place to sit with nice weather. Or you are all most welcome to come & sit by my lounge window for breakfast with me & watch the fairy wrens & other birds getting their breakfast & squabbling over who gets first use of the bird bath. mmMekitty would have to pwomise not to chase the birdies though 😀😼

I find trying to lift the mattress to tuck in the sheets the most exhausting, I don't have one of those really deep mattresses yet it still seems so heavy. I spare myself the trouble of trying to fold sheets by washing & drying in the one day so the same sheets go back on. 

Hanna I don't envy you the temperatures you are expecting. I hope there are some cool places for you to go to out of the worst of the heat during the day. Being by the coast do you get a cooler breeze off the ocean of an evening? 

Hugs

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Hello Paws, & everyone

Looks like being hot tomorrow & Friday, maybe another storm or two...  I hope not severe.

One of my support workers has suggested going to her place for a swim, tomorrow. I'd very much like to do that. 

Recent storms from Qld to Vic have been awful, so tragic for some families, too.

Tomorrow, while out, I'll try to relax & enjoy the swimming, but if it begins to look like another storm is building, I might just get a bit nervous about it. I certainly wouldn't want my support worker driving me home during any severe storm.

*

Breakfast at the BB Cafe or your place with the irds would be lovely, I & LRC pwomise to let the birdies feed & bathe in peace. We'll only jump in after.

*

Isn't it nice to surprise yourself when you don't feel the stress or anxiety you usually expect.

I am feeling more positive that I won't always feel the anxiety I've come to know so well for the last 28 years since I first felt that way during a thunderstorm. I know now, with sufficient diversion, or redirection of my attention into something else, I don't have to feel the anxiety; it's not inevitable that I will.

That was last Friday.

the storms of Saturday, Sunday, Monday & Tuesday though, were rather uncomfortable. I didn't manage to keep my mind on other things very much. That I kept my mind on anything else, even for a minute at a time, is something, so I feel encouraged that I can work on this, in this way.

*

I like the idea of doing something enjoyable, doing things that are the sort of things we can be happy about, feel good about, something like that early in the day - it's like, no matter what else, we have achieved something even before morning tea. We've done something which gives us a reason to smile.

*

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Hanna3]

Hi all,

Paws mattresses are so heavy to move!  I think there's a lot to be said for a person alone getting a King single -anything larger does get difficult!  The memory foam ones are totally impossible.  

I actually enjoy a good thunderstorm as long as i'm safe inside!  I would hate to be out driving in one, but it you are snug indoors it can be cosy.  Mmekitty I hope you got a swim in.  We haven't had temperatures as hot as Queensland here - we are lucky here we get a sea breeze to move the air around a bit and it's a big help.  The humidity is tough though.

A friend of mine was amused - she is in another state visiting her son and she knew I had the possibilty of a Cocker Spaniel dog - she sent me a pic from her phone and her son was given a cocker spaniel puppy for Christmas!  He looked adorably cute - as did her brand new grandson she is visiting!  I actually love West Highland Terriers, but they cost the earth nowadays!  

Not much news here, we are besieged by holiday makers and it's hard to get a seat in a cafe and no hope of getting anywhere near a beach!  It's nice to see people on holiday enjoying themselves though - they got perfect weather today, bright sunshine and no storms.

Not much other news - I've been trying to get cuttings off a couple of pot plants and get them started, otherwise not much to chat about.  Hope everyone is keeping well here.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, mmMekitty, ER,

mmMekitty I hope you had a nice swim today & the thunderstorms have held off for you

Hanna after you mentioned the cost of getting a Westie, I had a look online & nearly fell off my chair... the prices are ridiculous... I expect something like that for a Great Dane, as giant dog = giant costs to breed them... but the cost of breeding a Westies can't justify prices like that... that is purely profiteering on the breeds popularity. 

My sister gets her new furry friend next week... a type of oodle (I think cavoodle but could be wrong)... it does look cute in the pic she sent me.

Staying cool here until New Years Day when summer will start to make itself known. 

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Hi Paws, Hanna & everyone

It was a lovely, hot day yesterday, with just a few small clouds to break up the vivid blue sky.

First the OT came by for a visit & was helpful with a couple things.

Then, my support worker & I did a little of top-up shopping & had lunch before going to her place, where her hubby made us some lime juice flavoured soda water, & she opened a pack of chips, which we enjoyed, in the pool.

I also met the a cat they are looking after until her son is able to again. He's a gorgeous deep grey & very 'smoochy', rubbing my legs, & even standing on hind feet, reaching up the wall, as if to get closer to me, bending down to stroke him, in the bathroom doorway, (I'd changed into my swimwear in the bathroom, both before & after). He was there at the door both times, & lay right in front of my feet, as if to keep me from leaving. Hubby called to him, & he went over to him more readily than do their dogs when they call them.

They were a lovely, few hours in the pool, with a few noodles & a floating rectangular canoe.

Wish I could have been there today, too. I've had one cool shower, & will have another before going to bed.

But tomorrow, we are supposed to be expecting more storms again... My only hope is that they are not so bad, so everyone is safe.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Hanna3]

Hi all,

Mmekitty it sounds like you had an enjoyable day with swimming and kitties!  Good for you.

Paws yes, Westies have become popular again - where I lived previously they were popular with the wealthier clientele who seemed to like showing them off.  They have become something of a status symbol apparently - which is a shame, my parents had a Westie as their first pup and they definitely wouldn't have paid much back then!

There is a young woman in my street who has three adorable Westies - she goes out running each morning and the three little white Westies follow her along all together, looking very happy!  It's a lovely sight.

I think I will be looking at something more affordable!

Cooler here today thank goodness after dreadful hot day yesterday and a storm like a cyclone late in the day.  I'm definitely enjoying the breeze here this afternoon!

[Eagle Ray]

Hello dear Paws, MK, Hanna & Everyone,

MK, I’m so glad you had a lovely swim at your support worker’s place and had that time with their cat too. They sound like lovely people. It can be so nice having shared time with good humans and pets too. It’s really good for the soul.

Paws and Hanna, I wonder sometimes how certain breeds of dogs go from just being a regular doggo to a sought after expensive breed. I think sometimes they get famous from an ad or a movie, then lots of people suddenly want that dog. Like what happened with the beautiful Mareema sheepdog when that movie came out called Oddball featuring one trained to protect a penguin sanctuary. Then lots of people got them not understanding the breed and their specific needs, only to find them to be too challenging to own. With Westies I feel like there was a TV ad with one but I just can’t remember it at the moment.

It’s been windy here a few days now. There’s been the odd rumble of distant thunder but no storms directly here. I am going to walk over to visit my elderly neighbour here today. She was so kind to me when I first moved into this unit complex. It’s a bit like a little village here which I like. I’m going to give her some chocolates, wish her a Happy New Year and invite her in for a cuppa whenever it next suits.

 I hope you all have a lovely day today, the last of 2023, and may 2024 be a good year for all and bring many wonderful things 🌟🐶🐱💖

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello mmMekitty, Hanna & ER,

ER you are right about dogs becoming fashionable because people see them in a movie or ad.  If I remember rightly there was a dog food add with a very cute Westie recently-ish, I know they became very popular for a while when the TV show Hamish Macbeth came out.  Unfortunately it has been that way since forever & there are always people who will breed dogs just for money.  I'm hoping that the new system they have brought in here in Victoria will help reduce or even better stamp out the worst of it & that they will have the resources to enforce it.

mmMekitty I'm glad to hear you had a lovely time in the pool & that you made a new furry friend. 

Thankfully the BOM has changed its forecast & the hot weather won't now start here until next Saturday, not so great is it will be humid here for the next few days.  I really hate humidity, I find it so draining.

It sounds like you will all be facing some hot stormy weather over the coming week, do be extra careful especially if you have to go out anywhere & remember to stay hydrated... says Paws with her mother hen cap on.  😁

Big hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

I had forgotten about that show Paws but now I remember Hamish McBeth (query spelliing) was a good show and he had a Westie of course!  My family had Scottish roots so maybe that was why they always had Westies!