Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[mmMekitty]

Hello Paws, Hanna, Grandy, EM & all,

Finally get back to here... it does take me so long to get around to all the people I talk to, & all the places on BB. Not enough time in each day when I can sit at my PC, feeling relatively comfortable to focus on my 'work'.

I love the furbaby tales. From little snapshots to stories. They make me smile every time.😹

Great Sam likes the vegies. So long as they don't upset his tummy & give him the nutrition he needs, that's great.

Oddly, I never thought  to find out if Mekitty would enjoy vegies. I know, she did like a little of the vinegary juice from the tinned beetroot I'd have sometimes, & orange juice, but again, only a little. I wasn't at all sure it was good for her.

& I never even tried to dress her in anything. She didn't seem to like fabric directly on her. Up & over like a tent, she liked that very much. 😹& I' liked playing with her from the other side, too. I'm sure she watched for the shadow of my hand & when the tips of my fingers pressed into the tent, then she'd get me! Little claws poking right through, betweens the threads of the fabric.

& Paws, when cats say 'hello' they are equally capable of doing so with a swipe of the paws as Woofa. The only disadvantage I might have is reach. I might have the speed on him, though😼

EM, I like that you & your kids are picking up the cans, getting the money for them, for poodle care. I think this is a good thing your family does. Good for all, including community. A really good idea.😺

Hi Grandy, I will get to yours, one day... keep warm with furbabies,

Everyone, keep warm with furbabies. Getting to know all of these feels like I have one again myself. Feels good.😸

💖💖💖💖💖💖

mmMekitty

[Hanna3]

HI Paws and everyone,

This is my third attempt, I got thrown out again half way through... grrrr!  The gasto is going around and it's nasty, I survived on Hydraltye and anti-diarrhoea meds... I was so sick at one point I thought I would end up in hospital.  

You were fortunate the supermarkets were pretty well stocked, I popped in briefly today and they seemed better than earlier in the week, but hardly any tissues, eggs and loo paper again... Its' very cold here, down to minus 6 or 7 at night which is almost unprecedented, and we are meant to be tryng to save on heating bills, it's very hard!  Overcast today and I don't seem to have got much done... Sam gets tired so we are a bit more limited than we used to be - some sunshine would help!

On the other forum I am on there are mostly Americans but some British - one of the English women was asking for advice last night, at midnight she said it was 92 degrees inside her home and she was frantic with the heat - they are having a terrible heatwave over there, due to hit 40 degrees... in Engand!

I have a drawer stuck and the front has broken off, so I will have to get a repairman in from Housing next week...I can't remember now what else I was going to talk about, and I'm worried this will get thrown off again, so I will stop here!!!  oxoxoxo

[Hanna3]

My apologies Paws and everyone 

I went to a concert tonight and got home late, sorry I haven't been able to post any more tonight. 

The concert was jazz music, lovely! 🙂🎉

[Hanna3]

Well the concert was great but only a small audience, I think the night was so cold people stayed home - a kind of modern jazz, I enjoyed it very much!  Sunny here today but only reaching a top of 7 degrees tomorrow!

Hi to Paws, mmMekitty, Grandy, Deebi, everyone.  I was watching the news about the heatwaves and fires in Europe and the UK and it looks terrible  - in the UK they don't have air conditioned shopping centres or homes and not all hospital wards.. if it reaches 40 degrees I wonder what they will do - and their pets and the animals.   

I hope everyone is keeping OK and managing to find their way around the forums... it's not very straightforward!

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws, Hanna, mmMeKitty and everyone...🤗..

I do hope your feeling better...and the gastro has left you...,There’s a lot of that going around right now...as well as the flu....Sending you lots of get well wishes...please try hard to drink plenty of fresh water...even after the gastro goes....

My eldest dog...is turning 9 next week....she still runs around like she did when she was a puppy....although I have noticed she does like to lounge around a lot more then usual...I often wonder if animals know about their age....

How are you managing mentally Dear Paws?....We are here for you if you need to talk at any time....or if you just want a chat....

Hugs, with my love and care dear friend..🤗💜🦄.

Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy, I just said hi on your thread.  Keep warm tonight, it's going to be chilly! oxoxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, mmMekitty, Deebi, Em, 

The gastro has cleared...yay!!  

Sorry I've not been here this week, I've been struggling mh wise.  Woofa was unusually supportive yesterday & again today. Apart from getting up to feed him I spent from Tuesday evening until this morning in bed as I couldn't stop listening to beasty who was dragging me down. Nurse Woofa stayed beside me the whole time, with regular sniffing my face to check on me. Since I've been up today apart from a brief lapse where he went to lay in the sun for half an hour, he is still staying close. My down mood isn't helping my stress levels about attending a family do on the weekend & more importantly beasty is stoking my fears about calling the plumber for my water leak & letting him in my house. I know it is silly but I'm really struggling to control my fear. I've got to do it soon or the water will do serious damage.

Hanna I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the concert despite the cold. Brave of them to organise an outdoor concert at this time of year. It's been freezing here at night, but today is a lovely sunny winters day. 

Grandy 9 years old is middle age for little dogs...  you must be doing good for her to be still running around like a puppy, I wonder if having her daughter about to play with is keeping her young in outlook. Will she be getting something special for her special day?

I saw the news this morning about the heatwave in the UK & the fires they & Europe are battling. It's unbelievable that temperatures like that are happening, especially given the UK met office had just 2 years ago forecast such temperatures wouldn't happen until the 2050s. Given their homes & infrastructure are designed to survive the cold & retain heat, it's a worry about how the vulnerable will cope.

Hugs for you all & pats for the furs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Paws,

Im happy to hear that the gastro bug has left you....Theirs a lot of that going around in my area....

Please sweet lady, don’t be sorry about not posting, we all understand how hard it can be to post through a depressive episode....before anything else...you come first....

Beasty can be so loud at times...that sometimes even sleep doesn’t quieted it....You know Dear Paws...Thats it’s okay to stay in bed if you need to do so....Woofa is such a caring dog...strange how our pets can know how unwell we can get mentally....and how much they do help us feel not so alone in times of sadness or/and depression....

I don’t feel comfortable with strange people in my house...I can understand your fear, so no Paws,  it’s not silly at all....I wish I could be with you, when you get it fixed....I know this will probably not help your fear at all.....I think most tradies are okay, if they are working for a reputable company....or if the plumber is from town....Idk..hard for me to help you with that as I have also that same fear...

I am sorry, that your feeling down with the family do, you going to....is it something that you can get out of if your not up to going....again Dear Paws..your mental health is most important for you to care for....first before anything else...

Sending you all hugs and pats...with my kind thoughts and care..

Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws & everyone,

I'm sorry to hear you have been feeling down.  I thought the family gathering would be something to look forward to - I'm sorry to hear it is causing you anxiety.  How good is Woofa to stay by your side like he has, dogs are wonderful!  

Paws, most tradies are nice blokes.  He will just come in and fix your plumbing for you.  I do understand how uncomfortable it can be on your own to have someone strange in your home, and as Grandy says, it would be much easier if you had someone with you - but you will feel so much better once the plumbing problem is fixed, at the moment it's another thing to worry about and cause you anxiety - can you make yourself call the plumber and oragnize to get it fixed before it gets any worse?  Then that is one worry off your plate!

The heatwave in the UK and Europe is dreadful, I worry about our summers, I dread them now, I am definitely an autumn and winter person.  I especially hate daylight saving, the days seem so long!  I was in London in 1976 during a heatwave and I remember how hot it was and how dry and brown all the grass was.  It's a real worry that we are reaching these temperatures in such normally cold countries.

I was chatting to a nice young woman here the other day, she and her husband have a couple of young children and are looking for a rental property - she said they advertise four bedroom family houses and when they apply they are told children are not welcome - but it's a four bedroom family house!  It's a bad situation for renters.

The concert I went to was indoors, not outside, but not much heating, the musicans had to wear jumpers and we in the audience all sat in our overcoats!  It's often like that here, they don't heat indoor places much even though it's freezing in winter.

Little Sam is still very tired and taking a long time to recover from all his injuries and illnesses, so I am keeping him warm and resting him with one or two nice little walks in between... poor guy has had a bad time.  He got an athritis injection yesterday but he hit under a chair in the waiting room and we had to drag him out from underneath it!

I wonder if you could see a GP about something to settle your nerves Paws?  Is it worth a try?  I do hope you feel better soon.  I'm glad you are out of bed at least.  Please take care of yourself.  Hugs from us here oxoxoxoxo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, Hanna, 

Oh poor little Sam...  after what he had done the last time he was at the vet I can understand him hiding under the chair... it's times like these I wish we could explain things to our furs. 

I'm fairly certain that landlords aren't allowed to discriminate against children Australia wide... I know that in Vic they now can't discriminate against pets either... it's a pity the young lass you spoke with didn't know her rights or where she could turn to report such behaviour.

I will be glad when tomorrow is over... it will be nice catching up... I just wish it didn't drive home what my brother is missing... I honestly wish I could swap places with him & that it was me that died so he could be here & see his family... 

I have meds to help calm me... I will be taking them tomorrow to help me get through the day

Hugs

Paws