Seeking environmental silence when mentally ill

[white knight]

In my 20's (I'm 66yo), I sought to be a hermit. It didnt work out, but it was a reflection of my desperation to leave society. I needed peace. Once I went from Melbourne to the Otway ranges, pitched a tent in the dark and woke up the next morning and my view was of a pine forest with timber workers along with the noise. I lost all hope of silence and tears fell.

Since then I've lived in the country mainly in small towns with the hope of a quiet lifestyle. I've learned however that where ever people are there is noise and holidays bring the dirt motorcycles and that rat-a-tat-tat all day. Most are on towns outskirts but some in the town itself on small blocks. These (often) city people if asked if they would like that noise next to them where they live they dont associate their city block with the same sized country block - odd.

Three years ago we found the balance. A town of about 4000 people. That size town usually has a hospital with after hours treatment, at least one large supermarket, medical services, vet and other services. It also has bylaws prohibiting such recreational vehicles within the town boundary. While building our kit house ourselves we resided in a caravan on the land and realised it was a quiet street not used as a through road for traffic and luckily quiet neighbours. We installed double glazed windows. We stumbled on the best mix. 

Quietness is among the major needs of the mentally unwell and if loud and consistent enough will hinder recovery. It also can interrupt meditation periods. So my philosophy is "if you can't beat them... get away from them. 

Any ideas on seeking a quiet life?

TonyWK 

[white knight]

I'm enjoying this chat RX and ER.

ER, It took me decades to realise the fact that I have the right and the ability to "go with my own flow". eg

• When worrying about other people making decisions like distancing themselves, cutting contact etc- I can make my own decisions on that and also- when I am comfortable doing so
• Eliminate obligation to others. Obligation mean responsibility and possibility of missing that obligation leading to guilty and/or conflict.   https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/guilt-the-tormentor/td-p/321604  
• Beware those that have expectations based on their own standards which isnt a flexible attitude. We need flexibility in our lives because our mental health is not stable.
• Develop strength to counter forceful attitudes. Eg if Ukraine rolled out the red carpet to Russia that doesnt mean their lives would remain safe. So if we are appeasing all that does is send a signal to the stronger one that you can be dominated. 

With your guests you might feel better about their presence once they settle into conversation.

This thread might help you with motivation-

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/motivation-search-and-rescue-it/td-p/38279

"magical"... thats the key words with sunsets etc

TonyWK

[Guest_1584]

Same here Tony and ER

Does anyone love their trees , trees are just so human , and the birds that play in them such characters too.

Another peace of mine are trees, so special, l'm tree hunger from before the term was even invented l think , my whole life.

l've only got 3 or 4 here 2 new ones but the other two l saved and rescued. Poor things were just clumps of nothing untidy ugly no shape. l cut them back and started shaping them and now one of them has long 3mtr limb and winds and curls all over the place and the other is now a beautiful weeping bottle brush 6mtr wide right in front of my porch. The yard and front went from the ugliest duckling in the street to this almost havenish feel now with the porch l built and these two now gorgeous trees.

love feeling tree branches and leaves and watching them , sitting under them , brushing past them, watching all the birds and their antics.

The calm that comes from trees , even in a park or anywhere , sometimes l think they watch over us.

rx

[white knight]

Hi RX

Yes, I like trees. I owned a property in central Victoria which backed onto a river where 4 huge redgums were. I reckon they were at least 300 years old. On one there was scrapings and a local told me likely indigenous peoples made them before white man arrived- how cool.

Now with a town block and a house we built ourselves 3 years ago, we planted my favourite tree- 3x crepe myrtle. Love the smooth tan and cream bark and the flowers.

Birds? well have been feeding them for years with our wooden bird feeder. Here in Western Victoria we get sparrows of course and waiting for parrots to come. Black cockatoos fly overhead

TonyWK

[Doolhof]

Hi Tony and all reading,

This is a very calming discussion, I am pleased I have found it.

We live in a small town which unfortunately has a very busy highway running through the middle of it, so it is not at all quiet. I have been known to put ear muffs on to sit in the garden and enjoy the view.

I enjoy a walk at sunrise and there is one dirt road and farmers track I can wander along, when I have proceeded far enough, the traffic noise is faint, I then concentrate on the birds and appreciate their song.

Some days when I am craving quiet, I will drive my car to a dirt road somewhere, or to a pine forest, anywhere I can have a couple of hours of non human noise.

[white knight]

Hi Dools

Yes, and you also mention your trips on the beach. 

Think sometimes a boat in the middle of the ocean would be peaceful but so scary I wouldn't enjoy it!

Man made noise, buildings, roads etc can turn us against civilisation..

TonyWK

[Doolhof]

Hi TonyWK and all,

My sister has a kayak she takes on reservoirs and into little creeks and waterways. The peace and tranquillity she has in those places would be amazing.

I was out walking recently and came across a slow flow of water in a narrow creek. It was lovely to just sit there for a while and watch the calmness of the water.

The beach is also a calming place for me.

I have found some dirt roads on my way home from work which seem to have very little traffic . A walk there is quite calming after a busy day at work.

Even Googling places of nature on a stormy day when I don't feel like venturing out is calming. 

Wishing everyone some peace and calmness. Regards form Dools

[Eagle Ray]

Hi All

Dools I really liked your description of the calm body of water. I too love to stop on a walk at a place like that and just feel the peace. It can be quite transformative. I relate too to googling nature places. I’ve enjoyed doing this for places from all over the world that I may not get to visit but it’s like still getting a feeling of peace and renewal from seeing amazing natural environments, and wildlife from across the world too.

RX I couldn’t agree more that trees are like people. Each one is its own unique character. And what you say about them watching over us really resonates too. I walk in bushland near me where it feels exactly like that. There is like a feeling of ancient wisdom in the trees and a protective, comforting energy.

And thank you again Tony for your helpful insights. I’ve definitely done too much appeasing of others in the past. It’s not good. I’m gradually learning to set my boundaries. I’m finding this disappoints some others who have been used to getting their needs met through me, but I’m learning that taking care of my own well being first is necessary. I think one reason nature and peaceful places mean so much to me is that that they provide a sanctuary from the human world that has often felt intrusive to me. Nature just holds you with an unconditional presence - and that’s in all its moods and seasons. It’s safe and reassuring for me.

[Doolhof]

Hi Eagle Ray and All reading,

While out in nature I like to take photos on my phone of the amazing nature around me. I try to find something different and unique. It helps me to "Really see" what is before me.

I also like to look back at those photos during my lunch break at work, especially so on a stressful day. I have a reminder right there of how beautiful and amazing our world can be.

In the past I have borrowed books form the library that contain large photos of nature. Some people have captured amazing images. 

Even in a busy city, you can capture glimpses of nature, street trees, plants in people's gardens, looking up at the sky and seeing the clouds, watching birds flittering about the place, visiting a park when possible, even most weeds have flowers, some of those are very pretty.

[white knight]

Hi all

Coincidentally we are all describing observations and feelings not involving modern civilisation, the nature world.

Some of you might already know but as a boy raised in the western Subs of Melbourne every xmas we flew to Tassy where I loved milking cows with pop and hay carting. Then return to the concrete jungle and school full of city attitudes. At 23yo working as a warder in a major jail my brother took his own life and I set off on my motorbike in the first of 5 trips over 7 years - to the mountains. On each occasion I believed I would ditch the bike and live in the bush- like a hermit with no intention of connecting with people or shops or anything manmade. If that meant stealing for food or shelter etc so be it. 

Obviously I was in severe depression and had no clue I carried mental illness which was diagnosed some 30 years later! After 4-6 days I realised I'd never survive in the bush, I'd likely end up doing what me brother did. So I'd return to the city eventually with a plan, to meet myself half way- a little cabin in the country. By then as a PI, I worked alone in my own business with little human contact. 

So I found my compromise. Perhaps thats the answer for many people that have anti civilisation feelings and need some connection to the wonder of nature.

TonyWK

[Guest_1584]

Hi to all and just a quick one here l'll have to come back later.

But yeah the nature thing is a huge one alone isn't it and worthy of a book for sure and it looks like we're all nature adorers here .

l mean it's not my only thing but affection , infancy, sitting in silence, peace and escape within my castle haha, music or movies at the right time , the water l canoe also.

But l do believe nature is the cure for the world and the human condition as we've all become in it, even power.

Nature, is the complete opposite, opposite, to everything the worlds and people, the way most live, the directions the world is pushing people into and it's own directions   has all become  and are becoming , and all that is only just beginning.

Sadly everything in what the world is doing goes against nature , for people and living and the planet

lt's such a shame and is all so wrong but l suppose all we can do is give ourselves and loved ones what we know we need and at least try to point our own personal worlds in the right direction for us,

Think if l was 15 again l'd be doing a Greta traveling the world attempting to convert and turn it all around.