Running

[NicoleP]

Just wanted to share one way I have dealt with my anxiety - running. I had a rotten day at work yesterday with my nemesis being her normal self. Anyhow, rather than letting her ruin my evening, I went and did what I often to - I went for a run. Put on the headphones and got out onto our local cycling paths along the river and ran. 14km later I felt much better.

Running has become a huge part of my life. I decided at 41 to take up running to help manage my anxiety -decided that I would do a marathon (42km). I am now 48 years old and I am signed up to do marathon number 23 in 2 weeks time. Running is one thing that I use to manage myself and it has the added benefit of helping tire me out and helps me to get a good nights sleep. Often I look at what my anxiety has cost me, but it got me running and I have gained a lot from that - physical fitness, friendships, sense of achievement. It has also enabled me to see some pretty beautiful parts of Victoria that I would not have taken the time to see.

Just wanted to share this because it is something that has helped me so much and I would like to inspire people to get out there and give it a go.

[Neil_1]

Firstly, elouise, I'm heaps happy to hear that you're going out for a run.  I hope you did and as that was 4 days ago, I hope you've perhaps done another one in that time as well.

Hey Kezza, oh man, I think it must be an inbuilt gene or something for people who exercise, but do the long kinds of stuff.  You say you have that ability to over-rule or control your mind when out running - and that's the exact same with me either in a gym or when out running again.

But for me, it's kind of a self-punishment - it's something I know I can do and I can get through and yet my mind is telling me to stop or that I can't do it;  but I overpower it on these occasions and it's kind of a beat up process.  I've got things that have happened in my past that I hate myself for, so I beat myself up when I can as punishment - and in form of physical exercise - well, hell, why not.

Doesn't sound so good that you're soon to have an operation on your feet.  Damn, that's gotta be one of the worst places to be operated on - for mobility and just getting around, etc.  I wish you all the best with that.

Hoping you can stay here with us in the meantime anyway though - it's been good to write to you and who knows, I reckon with some of your experience and knowledge, you could quite easily flick over to some of the other forums here/threads and provide some of your own thoughts and suggestions to others.

Kind regards

Neil

[NicoleP]

Hi Neil

Good to hear from your. I smiled about the punishment. I sometimes wonder why I run. My father was always very critical of me. As a kid he always told me how fat and lazy I was and would force me to run (he has done some marathons). When I started running, he thought it was pretty funny and laughed when I told him I was going to do a marathon. I have now done more marathons than him but I now run for me. By the way, just did marathon 23 today so am feeling tired but proud.

As for the feet, it actually works for me. I am having trouble at work (see employment forum) and am pleased to have some time away. I will miss the running but am making sure that I have plenty to do while I am layed up. I have just bought a 24,000 piece jigsaw - yes, another extreme thing. I also have a queen bed quilt that I have just sewn together that needs to be hand quilted.

I was posting earlier about a book that I have been reading called 'The Happiness Trap' by Russ Harris. I don't know if you have read it but I am finding it really interesting and I thought it might be useful as you mentioned that there are things that have happened in your past that you hate yourself for.

[Neil_1]

Hey Kezza

Firstly wanted to mention that 26 minutes off the 3 hour mark is a fair effort - for someone who commenced marathoning in their 40's.  Very impressive indeed.

I have the complete sets of Dexter at home as well as The Soprano's, which I really enjoy - I am a MASSIVE fan of Dexter.  Have all the books as well.

And on the weekend, I bought the first book in Game Of Thrones.  Never been interested in it;  but thought I'll give the book a go and see.  So far it's not too bad.

I am enjoying this thread you've started though - with physical activity;  running, etc.

You know another thing that I would LOVE to try and attempt is the Ultra Ironman Triathlon - something like a 3km swim (tha'ts my stalling point big time);  180km bike ride and then finish with the marathon on foot.   So many things to really challenge the body.

You also mentioned a few days back that you were struggling - are things levelling out any for you at the moment??

Neil

[NicoleP]

Hi Neil,

Good to hear from you - I am enjoying this thread too. Sorry I haven't got back to you earlier.

I do not watch a lot of DVD's mainly because I don't get much time. I am interested in what you have to say about Dexter. My daughter has the complete set of Dexter and I will be looking for something to watch while I am recovering from my operation. What is it about?

The Ultra Ironman Triathlon sounds like a real challenge but certainly something that is possible and a great thing to aim for. I agree that the swimming would be the challenge but I don't think that it would be impossible. I work on the theory that I get there in the end, even if it is slow. Have you ever thought about doing a half ironman? You could even do it in a team and get someone else to do the swim.

When I was in Sydney the other weekend doing the City to Surf run, I picked up a brochure for the Great Wall of China marathon. It has now been added to the bucket list along with swimming with dolphins and sky diving. I recently went for my motorbike license (and got it) having never even sat on a bike before and then bought myself a motorbike - a Kawasaki 250. All kind of ironic when you consider that I struggle with anxiety but I struggle more with social anxiety and dealing with people.

Work has settled down. I was involved in a mediation process which was very stressful for me. However it worked for me and has got my co-worker off my back. My boss had sided with her but now realises that there are 2 sides of the story. It frustrates me though. My mental health is something that I have had to work at since my teens. It wasn't until my mid 40s that I had a depressive episode that lasted for about 12months. That was 18months ago. However, because I have had that episode, it seems that I am continually judged about and it is thrown back at me. My boss assumed that because I have had a mental health issue, that the problem at work was because of me and he wouldn't listen to my side of the story. Mediation allowed me to tell my story and I am now being treated with respect and fairly. Stigma - still a major issue unfortunately.

Is the profile picture of your dog? What is his/her name. I love kids and animals (they don't judge)

Look forward to hearing from you

KezzaA

[NicoleP]

Hi Neil

I am not sure what it going on - I wrote a lengthy reply yesterday and it has not appeared. Most likely, it is something that I did as my computer skills can be a bit unreliable.

I have been enjoying chatting to you too which is why I was disappointed that my last response did not work.

I am interested in Dexter. I am not a big DVD/TV watcher but am looking for something to watch while I am recovering. My daughter has the Dexter series and it might be  a good one for me. What is it all about?

An Ironman would be a great thing to aim for. Have you ever considered doing a half ironman. to begin with? I think that it is great to have goals like this in mind. It doesn't mater how long it takes, it is about completing them. I have participated in one in a teams event - I just did the 21km run but you can do it where you do 2 sections and one person does the swim.

When I was in Sydney doing the City to Surf, I picked up a brochure for the Great Wall of China Marathon - it is now on my bucket list. Of all the international runs, this is the one that interests me. I have been slowly ticking things off my list for the last 8 years. I recently got my motorbike license (having never even sat on a motorbike) and bought a Kawasaki 250. I always think that it is a bit funny that I have anxiety issues and then go out and do this kind of thing. But then again, most of my issues are about people and the kind of activities that I do are solitary but around people. A good avoidance strategy,

Things have settled down really well at work. Mediation proved to be quite worthwhile and the woman who was giving me such a hard time has agreed to leave me alone.

[Neil_1]

Hi Kezza

Before I get started on Dexter, and other things, just sometimes on this site, it does take a little while for some of the longer posts to get through the vetting process;  or as I like to call it:  The Beyond Blue Posts that are taxi-ing on the runway awaiting notification that they can take off.  It's all good and thanx for posting a 2nd one, just in case - I too have done that a few times in the past.

Yes, that is our beloved puppy, Jack.  My daugther (13yo) is somewhat of a camera buff and snaps off photos like crazy and is always trying to get the animals to 'act up' for her.  He's 9yo and very much a huge member of our household.  Somewhat of a sook though I'm afraid when it comes to us.  🙂

Most important thing now - that IS fantastic news that things have settled down for you at your work.  I could imagine how distracting it would have been for you over the latest time frame - (I did go and read up on the other forum to check it out) - and must have had your mind all over the place and though you still had to put your best foot forward in order to teach the kids.   "Agreed to leave you alone", I guess is ok, but it irks me that someone would have put you through the torment in the first place.  Good on you for taking it up and getting this sorted out.

Ahhh, now Dexter - I could dedicate so many posts to this.  I'm just hooked on it.  Dexter works by day for the Miami Metro Police Force, as a blood spatter analyst - a brilliant one at that.  By night, he seeks out the refuse of society - the murderers, rapists, child molesters/killers, who have escaped the system and got away with "murder" - he vets them to make sure they fit a 'certain code' that his step-father taught him - and then basically he "takes out the trash" in his own special way.

The writers of the show are brilliant with the aspects of the show that they bring up and for the potentially gruesomeness of some of the scenes, they make it up with some clever and funny lines from a lot of the characters.

Way to go also for the Kawasaki 250 license.  Awesome stuff.

Neil

[NicoleP]

I know that the vetting process can be slow and I understand why but I was very surprised when my post hadn't appeared the next day. It is great to have this kind of forum to air things but I didn't want you to think that I didn't value this chat.

I will give Dexter a go - hope it is not too gruesome though as I am not good with that kind of thing. It is always good to hear about.

You mention that you do physical exercise (even if it is a form of punishment). What do you do?

[Neil_1]

Hi Kezza

I've always kept fit - I played Aussie Rules for years, way back when and I also played cricket for 30 years.

I do enjoy getting out and running and running and running and ... yeah, you get my drift.

But the main thing I LOVE is the gym.  I guess I'm probably an amateur natural bodybuilder.  "Natural" meaning never taken 'roids.  So all that I am is due to the hard work in the gym and trying to eat right, etc.

However, I'm in a massive hiatus at the moment, as I've been injured since April.  Can't believe it really - haven't had a workout since April - nigh on four months.  It's screwing with me massively.  As before that, I'd be at the gym 5 days a week, rain hail or shine.

I haven't opened up about this to anyone, so Kezza, you're the first person that I'm telling this too and it's this:   going to the gym, you get to meet people and people become mates;  phone numbers are swapped, the odd text message here or there;  well, I've been away four months and not one text to say "hey, is everything alright', or when are you gonna be at the gym again?  Nothing.  Oh well, fair weathered mates I guess.   I shouldn't be sensitive to that, but oh well.  Can't do anything about it.

But I'm actually soon to go back - my aches are almost all quiet again;   but you know, it's becoming a bit daunting.  To go back.  The gym and my home were my two sanctuary's;  but now it's just home;  kind of.   And to think to go back to the gym;   it's becoming a bit of a worry.  I guess I'll be fine when I'm there;  but still, the nerves get to you.

Thanx for that - the unload was good.

Neil

🙂

[NicoleP]

Hi Neil

Thank you for your message - I am really pleased that you were comfortable enough to open up about the gym. Injuries really suck. It was obviously something pretty major to stop you for such a long time. I can understand how hard it must be for you to lose such a big part of your life. It becomes such a big part of your weekly routine and when it is no longer there, it leaves a real hole. I started at the gym when my son was 3 months old - I joined for 8 weeks with the intention of losing 8 kg. I lost the 8 kg and have been a member ever since. My son just turned 20. I loved the social contact (but no strings - I hate having people to my house as it is my sanctuary).

I hear what you are saying about returning to the gym. I am sorry that people have not contacted you while you have been away but I am sure they will be pleased to see you back there. The first step is always the hardest. I often tell myself that I know I will enjoy myself when I get there, it's just the getting there that I find hard (says me who avoided going to yoga tonight).

Do you ever enter in running events? If so, what ones? Have you done a triathlon?  I love hearing about what other people do.

Look forward to hearing from you

K

[Neil_1]

Hi Kezza

Ain't it grand to talk to people who are 'like-minded'.   And pretty much EVERYONE who comes on this site is already in that category as we all suffer our own demons and our mental health issues.  But then to find another category is great.  In fitness.

Cause then you can understand just what it means when you love to exercise and then for some reason, you're unable and just what a hole it leaves in your being.

Wowee, so you've been a gym goer for nigh on 20 years yeah??  Super impressive Kezza!  🙂   And like you, the gym is a sanctuary and when I am going all the time, you do have your friends/mates there and can say "gday" to them;  but for the most part, I really just like to get in and do my workout and if afterwards there's an opportunity, I'll perhaps have a little chat sometimes.  Other days I'll just get in and out as quickly as possible.

I used to enter a lot of cross country events and do those, like every 2nd weekend or so which was good fun.  I haven't entered an event now, since the 6 hour event which was oh, back in 2010, I think.  But I love the event syndrome you get, as it pumps you up and the endorphins or adrenaline scream through your body and you get such a high. The competition state.

No, no triathlons for me - I've got a bike that I picked up from a garage sale a while back - it looks an absolute ripper, but the back wheel doesn't go around.  Kind of important for a bike, don't you think?  And so Neil is just too unmotivated or lazy to take it to a bike shop to get it fixed.  But that's going to happen soon, so I can take the "Black Beast" (obviously the bike is coloured black) 🙂  out for rides.

Cheers again,

Neil