Night Owls (for those awake late and can't sleep)

[Croix]

Dear All
The purpose of this thread is as a meeting point for those that can’t sleep and it is late (I.E. AFTER midnight.)

It can be a useful space for users to share their issues with insomnia as well as coping strategies. It can also be a general space for users to converse and support one another throughout a difficult night.

Please note – for those that are just bored or lonely we already have a place - the BB Café, which I recommend instead of here

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/the-bb-cafe

Croix

[Emo]

Trigger Warning- Domestic Violence

Hi Ecomama,

Thank you for your kind words and the amazing hug, I really needed it after the awful day I had. I know I was going to be taking a break from the forums but I could really do with some advice from anyone who may be able to help me.

I'm trying so hard to get help but I keep getting knock backs every place I contact. I have to email or web chat with them as I don't have a phone to use. I'm just so tired of getting told there is nothing they can do for me.

I'm still trying to get Centrelink to help me to get a payment or at the very least a concession card but they say there is nothing they can do for me as I'm married and it doesn't matter if there is domestic violence involved. As long as I live under the same roof as his I need his permission to get Centrelink payments as I need his wage figures to process any payments.

I then said what if I left him and I was homeless on the street and their reply to that was that they couldn't help me unless I was living in a house with an address.

That doesn't sound right to me but what can I do?? I asked them again if they have a social worker I could speak to or a person who specialises in domestic violence situations and he said that no one like that exists.

I'm not sure what else I can do as there are no beds in any women's refuges around where I live, the closest vacancy is over three hours away and I have no way of getting there with no money.

I even contacted a free legal service for some advice but as they are so busy they said that unless I have children who are being harmed by my husband there is nothing they can do for me until about January of next year.

I am trying so hard to get help but when you get knock backs like these I question why I bother trying to leave, maybe I should just stay with him?? I'm so confused right now!! 

Regards,

Emo.

[goldilocks]

Hi Everyone,

A coping strategy I have in order to sleep is to watch or listen to Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) videos on YouTube.

[quirkywords]

Goldilocks

thanks for your tip. I have no idea what ASMR is but I will look it up.

Has anyone else used this..?

[Guest_1584]

Anxiety or bad thoughts nights or wks sometimes mths, l just accept and ride out the fazes and they pass in time. gf just said this morning actually she was awake all night with anxiety .

Def the yum tomatoes em.

rx

[ecomama]

Hey Sleepy, darling girl

Yes it makes total sense that anxiety is causing insomnia.

That's all part of PTSD / C-PTSD symptoms. Incl all the other yuck stuff.

Absolutely agree all those "gentle" sleep things, that may work for others, mayn't work for someone in the throes of PTSD.
PTSD being extreme anxiety = remediation is deeper too.

Tbh at the root of "cures" I believe is feeling safe.
Reminding yourself that you are SAFE is key.

I know that we need replacement thoughts and behaviours.
Our habits of thinking and doing need to be interrupted.
Ppl can say "don't think this and don't do that" till the cows come home...

Replacing these thoughts and consequent behaviours is another key.

Breaking the Habits of being in PTSD mode is possible.
I know you can do it.

Love EM

[ecomama]

Dear Emo

*** Trigger Warning - DV ***

Is there a Police Social Worker you can contact?
I had one of these...
AND a Centrelink Social Worker...

Yes I had children AND an address...

From what I understand about the legal processes here at least ... is that MORE things happen for you once you report to Police, go ahead with pressing charges and go thru all the Court processes also.

I find what the C/link person said about "having an address" quite disturbing.
(You can call the Centrelink Feedback and Complaints line to find out your rights - I had to do this regarding breaches of accounts that were set up in my name but I didn't open any accounts).

There are a few other channels that could help...
~ The Red Heart Foundation via FB.
~ the Sexual Assault Hotline.
~ 1800RESPECT.

Ask the Hotlines directly where you can get help from.
HOW you can get money to get a rental? (I thought C/link usually helps with this).

Other than that possibly visiting a Church Food Pantry and directly asking them for help, has helped ppl here.

What I was prepping to do was flee with a tent for the kids and I.

Please ask the SA Hotline but IF you call the Police and press charges should another event occur, H may be jailed etc... IDK...

Biggest hugs.
Hope you can get out and stay safe.
Love EM

[Guest_1584]

Yeah l can and do all the time but l know myself too and when it will work and when it won't so l don't waste energy l know l'm gonna need if l know it's not gonna work on the night. Like last night for example l had to stray my thoughts 30 or 40 times but l knew they'd distract easily that night and l slept well in the end.

The feeling safe is very much from your past too em hey, but yeah there's all kinds of safe isn't there . Those financial nights often kept me awake for mths on end during certain periods , or the what of my future nights . My dad was a real thinker actually he was rated in the genius spectrum pretty smart guy whom are usually 24 7hinkers ,so it was nothing for him to not sleep for mths on end. Funny if you asked his advice he'd always have and answer for you in the morning .

rx

[ecomama]

Hey rx

Yes, I agree 100% for sure. The "safe feelings" can be threatened from many angles... but deeper than that... knowing you are SAFE to sleep tonight helps.

Anxiety is a huge "umbrella" with C-PTSD being an extreme form.
I know Sleepy and I have been diagnosed with such... being recent and FOO traumas.

For me it was like being shut in a dome with no windows and no doors for escape... and full on surround sound and real visuals of past trauma events occurred as if they were happening in that moment on repeat.

At one stage it got so bad that I got vertigo with vomiting etc... from NOT avoiding the attacks my mind was visualising.
Like not stepping out of the way, but I knew it was in my mind only so refused to step out of the way of "memories".
That led to an "imbalance" which led to vertigo.
This went on for months and I couldn't drive from the vertigo.

Not much is mentioned about C-PTSD, that it CAN be "cured" ie to live a happy and fulfilling "normal" life whatever THAT is lol.
I mean work and have relationships with friends and or family.

I can go to sleep with a problem on my mind and wake up with a solution.

But during the Courts time at the end of years of it, when everything seemed to be threatened, I had panic attacks in my 40mins sleep. The sweat saturated the bed sheets and I had to strip the bed and use a sleeping bag to sleep in.
THAT was anxiety, the PTSD came LATER hence it's called POST Traumatic Disorder.
Usually develops after the trauma(s).

I fell asleep so early last night, so I'm awake with an aha moment about one "issue" at 3am hahaha.
Already drafted the text... just can't SEND it at 3am lol!

I worked hard yesterday, it's wonderful having the time to do this.

My Chiro asked me what I've been dong bec my back muscles and "traps" are noticeably THERE... I said over 100 buckets of soil and a BRUSH TURKEY I'm shipping to randomx. LOL!

I FINALLY outsmarted the brush turkey! (Better not talk too soon!)

Love EM

[Matchy69]

Had a really tiring night woke up in the middle of it and couldn't get back to sleep from the pain I'm in.Its more annoying pain then major pain but it is constant.I managed to doze off for a little bit and my son at 6am comes in wanting his breakfast so I got that and put the washing on.

[Guest_1584]

Oh yeah for sure , when we know it and can finally truly feel it ,peace, it's a beautiful thing .

lThat soils gonna be great btw , thanks for that and to mr and mrs turkey too. But eh it's funny, l've never seen or been around a rush turkey , they sound like real characters. Hmmm she thinks , bloody characters alright pains in the arse.

rx