Night Owls (for those awake late and can't sleep)

[Croix]

Dear All
The purpose of this thread is as a meeting point for those that can’t sleep and it is late (I.E. AFTER midnight.)

It can be a useful space for users to share their issues with insomnia as well as coping strategies. It can also be a general space for users to converse and support one another throughout a difficult night.

Please note – for those that are just bored or lonely we already have a place - the BB Café, which I recommend instead of here

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/the-bb-cafe

Croix

[Guest_1643]

hey lillyane!

just wanted to say thanks for ur fabulous message . enjoying the chai x my thread is here : https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/recovery-themed-books-tv-shows-movies-podcasts#qy4p-nHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

[Matchy69]

I was fast asleep and I was woken up my a text from my ex with the usual drama with her trying to rub something in my face.She must be having a good laugh.

[eight]

today just seemed like a perfect day to fall asleep before midnight and i... didn't. it was a friend's birthday so we had a minecraft party for them and played scavenger hunt. i won but i feel bad for snatching it away from them on their birthday. i had a freakout because i started doing my compulsive lying last night instead of "im tired and feel awkward and don't want to talk " and had a really fulfilling conversation with the one who helped me through it tonight where i ended up dumping to her abt my medication and how last week was the week from hell. i need to start tracking my medication effects this week but all i have is they make me stay up until 2am and make me eat one meal a day. she said they really shouldn't have started me when exams are around the corner. i put on the sleep podcast where i fall asleep before 20 minutes are up and i could hear every word in that hour up to the thanks thanks thanks and goodnight. i think she's right

[Matchy69]

Hi Eight sorry you are having trouble sleeping.

[Guest_1643]

hi eight, i can't tell u how long i've been troubled not knowing what 8 out of 10 cats was... I was like were the panelists "cats" - like "cool cats." I watched the kitten bit it was truly spectacular.
Anything with kittens I adore... they are so watchable in their exceeding cuteness!!

Sorry u didn't get to sleep before midnight. it's so hard sometimes.

[Moonstruck]

Well it's 4.20am so I guess I qualify to join in here. No rain on the roof for quite a while, so heaven knows what kind of day it will be....will the sun be out again or do we have another wet day....finding it hard to sort out my daily chores...simple stuff...like getting an appliance fixed, posting a friend's birthday present, making grocery list, what will the weather be like? I don't know so I can't figure out beforehand what I will be wearing.....

I haven't always been like this...just last months since my partner died.....my head is still muddled, I can't think clearly. Is this part of the grieving thing? How long does it last? I used to be so efficient and organised, reliable, consistent, accomplished. Now I have to make lists or I end up doing nothing.

this is what I am dwelling on at 4.20am.......anxious about what the weather will be like when I wake up. Am I having a breakdown (whatever they are).......

[Unbeliever]

Moonstruck,

When you are in a constant state of "processing" (in your case due to dramatic shift in your day to day circumstances) your mind often feels "muddled".
So while you are trying to "get on with it", your brain is going... "Hey, I've got a lot of stuff to work through here".

Imagine that it is like a computer. Normally as tasks need to be done your brain would shut down most other "applications" temporarily and put the majority of its power towards "the task at hand".

But right now it can't do that. There are numerous applications constantly "running in the background" that are sucking up a lot of juice and leaving less than optimal power left over to run the main system (eg. you and what you are doing in that moment).

Basically this results in being "slowed down", difficultly focusing on single tasks, and confusion between simultaneously running programs (and in extreme cases complete catastophic shut down).

The brain ceases to perform "optimally" or as it is expected to (determined by how well it used to in comparison)).

Now for a computer the solution is often to "turn it off and on again" and reboot. Or to defragment the drive. Or to delete background applications that are causing the issues... Or to just buy a new computer.

But for biological organisms unfortunately it is not so simple. The best option is to dedicate as much power towards those processes and to allow them to finish and complete... freeing up your overall brainpower again to resume normal day to day tasks.

In other words, you are having difficulties because your brain simply can't prioritise "day to day" functions over other essentual processes it currently deems to be more critical.

[Unbeliever]

As for your anxiety regarding seemingly trivial things like the weather... combined with things such as feeling that you NEED to know these things well in advance in order to "prepare properly".

This is often to do with "control"... or more accurately a need to regain the feeling of control that you believe you have lost.

Losing loved ones often results in these kinds of feelings.

When we hit comfortable strides in our lives. We often feel like we are in control. Things are to a large degree predictable on a day to day basis. Most major changes we deal with are by choice and design... rather than out of our hands.

... and then something major happens which is out of our control. Resulting in a desperate need to return to feeling in control but often exagerrated to even the smallest of things... otherwise panic sets in.

It stems from our need for stability which is completely understandable... but is often also unhealthy in its extreme forms.

At the moment you likely don't want any more surprises. You don't want to "roll with the punches". You want to know exactly what is coming ahead of time so you can fully prepare for it in advance.

And likely you want this because you fear that right now if something happens that you are not prepared for you might not be able to cope... and might fall apart.

But we often underestimate how strong we are when vulnerable. Or mistake "strengths" for "weaknesses" and "weaknesses" for "strengths".

How long does it last?
That is impossible to say. For some a single days worth of dedicated processing and acceptance is enough. For others years or even a lifetime is not enough.

It is as unique to individuals as are the circumstances that lead to it...

I would guess that you are not having a "breakdown" though. You can't even write on forums like these when that afflicts you. It is delibitating.

As for inability to sleep. Try to create just 1 thing for tomorrow that you will look forward to or get excited about doing if possible. Preferably something that is relaxed and stress free and that requires an early start.

Might work...

[Guest_4643]

Hi all, is anyone up?

Mark - I'm sorry you dealt with that. I had a "friend" who was constantly like that. No need for people to be like that.

eight - I hope you're ok.

[Lillylane]

Hey mb20lover!! Good to see you again!

Just woken up and a bit surprised to be awake this early (11:30pm). I woke from a bad dream. I dreamt I couldn’t get to my kids to pick them up and as much as I tried to run, physical blocks kept popping up and I got more and more panicked.