Newbie - Coping with chronic pain ,depression and grief

[Lumlo]

Hi I am new to the forum. I suffer with chronic pain ,depression and grief and currently have worring problems with my adult children.

One has had major surgery and the other has been on drugs and has ongoing legal issues and mental health problems.

With xmas close I am not coping well and need some support. I am hoping talking on the forum will help me.

[Rabbit33]

Hi Lumlo,
So sorry for the silence on my end, i've had a huge couple of weeks.
How's everything going?

Regarding your tiredness, could it be the medication that you're taking? Sometimes medication can take some time to have proper affect and also hit us with some on wanted side effects. Hopefully things have settled now and you're feeling better.

[Lumlo]

Hi Rabbit33

I am less tired now it just all got too much. I slept so much and finally started to feel better again, so now I am making sure to take better care of myself .

My son has recently found a room in a share flat. I met the flat mate today and he seems ok, and think it could work out. Just hoping it be a help for him, I feel a home is important to feel well.

Lots of other really stressful stuff going on but I try to help when Im asked but not to my own detriment. I have spoken to my physcologist about the boundries book and its a work in progress.

Lumlo

[Rabbit33]

Hi Lumlo,

So glad to hear your update. That must be such a relief with your son finding a shared place and with someone you feel comfortable with.

How are you coping with these other stresses?

[Lumlo]

Hi, I am less tired now ,but still only manage 4/5 hrs sleep a night, its really just not enough.

Im seeing a physcologist at the moment weekly which is helpful, and have ruled out any physical problems with my Gp .

Im glad my son has a place to stay, although with his poor mental health he messed up how much it costs a week. I have helped him move stuff and helped financially and encouraged him to get rent assistance as well, but it is very hard to find anything cheaper I have looked.

I plan to take up some groceries I managed to get at a half price place in a few days and drive him to essential appointments. I was also pleased to find today a store with a govt program of free weekly fruit/veg boxes, only $30 a year so that will be a great help for me.

Im not sure if hes doing ok now, as he keeps rejecting my calls which is upsetting. I am trying to remember my boundaries and just call or text occasionally to see if he answers me rather than panic or drive 2hr to see if hes alright. My physcologist told me I have to have some faith that he will be ok.

Unfortunately, past experience has not been good.

I am struggling but working on putting myself first.

Lumlo.

[Rabbit33]

Hi Lumlo,

There are some real positives in your last comment. It's great to hear on the improvements and you should be proud of yourself and how far you have come.

It sounds like you have a great psychologist on your side and assisting you with self-care and helping encourage some positive thinking/steps with your son.

How are you feeling now?

I'm aware of some organisations like 'Launch housing' that can assist with rent assistance from time to time, not sure if there is one near where your son lives but there would be other organisations that have a similar support system. There are also places like 'Vinnies' that can sometimes provide food stamps/parcels to assist with groceries, it may be worth looking into and passing the details on to your son?

You're doing such a good job! Really proud of you!

[Lumlo]

Hi Rabbit33

I am feeling a bit less anxious now. Trying Bachs rescue remedy to help me sleep. I have managed 6 hrs sleep a couple of nights now, which is a better than 4hrs.

Im working on my boundaries and it probly sounds odd but Im trying to do whats best for me more often.

My son came to stay overnight last night . There were no real problems, but it did exhaust me. He asked me to drive him back home. Its a 250km trip which I had done the day before in pouring rain so I suggested the train as its too much for me, luckily his friend then came and picked him up .

Tomorow I am seeing my physcologist and maybe try REM therapy . I am a stressed that it will make me feel worse.

Lumlo

[Purple_People_Eater]

Hi Lumlo

Sorry I have been away for ages - I just found out how to find posts I have commented on. 😯

It sounds great that you are trying to do what's best for you more often! That is a definite goal for mental health carers ❤

How did your psychologist appointment go? I often feels stressed when I need to try something new to feel better, I think this is pretty normal. How are you now?

PPE

[Lumlo]

Hi I have found physcologist appointments a real help. I feel more confident that I will give the new therapy a go and continue with self care.

Yesterday I was bitten by a bee, had an awful allergic reaction and passed out in the ER. Thankfully I had an adrenalin pen and was close to the hospital. Resting today and starting to feel better.

Lumlo

[Purple_People_Eater]

Oh dear, hopefully the adrenaline has all worn off by now and you are feeling better.

I recently gave my best friend cashews by accident and had to rush her to the hospital as she didn't have an epipen. My brother is allergic to bees too. We found out when he sat on a bee when I was having a swimming lesson.

[Lumlo]

Thanks, yes feeling better from the bee bite now. I got stung when swimming too.

Had a really rough day today just all seems too much. I started to cry and found it hard to stop. I dont know how to help my son anymore, hes been quite unpleasant to me and I guess I am not strong enough to cope with it right now.

Just hope tomorows a better day

Lumlo