Newbie - Coping with chronic pain ,depression and grief

[Lumlo]

Hi I am new to the forum. I suffer with chronic pain ,depression and grief and currently have worring problems with my adult children.

One has had major surgery and the other has been on drugs and has ongoing legal issues and mental health problems.

With xmas close I am not coping well and need some support. I am hoping talking on the forum will help me.

[Lumlo]

You are right I am sure hes scared the last time he was in custody he attempted suicide and ended up in the physc ward for assesment so I am scared too. I agree a simple text suggesting he attend the lawyers for advise with us would be in his best interest it doesnt help to hide from legal issues as they catch up. It is his choice but his head is not working very well so it is very difficult for me to watch him make bad decisions.

[Lumlo]

Hi.

Things are very hard for me I am having panic attacks my anxiety is very bad. I have been to my gp who has given me some more meds but I am struggling to cope. I am on the cancellation list for my physcologist but the appointment still 2 months away. I have concidered seeing a councillor at the hospital but just cant face it at the moment. I just hope there will be a better day for me some time soon.

[Rabbit33]

Hi Lumlo,

Sorry for the delay in reply. I think it may be worth seeing the councillor at the hospital. Because really, what have you got to lose? You could also ask them to discuss things with your psychologist once they return so that they have been brought back up to speed. But you'd to give permission for this due to confidentiality.

Think of small things to calm you down. There is no easy fix here. You'll just have to ride it out, do your best and see what happens. And hang on to any support you can. I think the councillor at the hospital is definitely a good idea.

[Lumlo]

Hi Rabbit33

Feeling overwhelmed. Partner in hospital now had surgery yesterday. Keeps having accidents while working around at home. Inattentive I think. Go to pick him up tomorow but as its hand will not be able to do much for 6 weeks. Just another thing to make life more difficult. Its 100kms drive which is hard for me with my chronic pain injury and then back for physio next week. Its a worry he will be ok. Im trying to do three things daily now. 10 minutes meditation ,go for a walk and eat healthy food. Its a start, small steps.

Good to talk

[Rabbit33]

You're doing so well Lumlo!

I'm sorry to hear that you've encountered another batch of bad luck but surely this unfortunate pattern is on it's way out and good luck is on it's way. Maybe with your partners recovery time on his hand, he will have time to sit down and try talk through some of the overwhelming situations you're going through and take a little bit of the stress off your shoulders.
Try and count your blessings each day. Sometimes a reminder of what's good in our lives can be quite uplifting also. You're stronger than you're letting yourself believe and i'll continue to send strength your way and keep my fingers crossed for you that the storm settles.

Hope you're feeling okay.

[Lumlo]

Hi Rabbit33

Thanks for your reply. I will give some thought to being grateful for the good things in life.

Partner home now arm in a caste but so far in good spirits about it. The finger was badly damaged so will need some hand therapy and return to hospital tomorow. He is appreciative of my efforts to help which is nice.

There will be a lot more on my shoulders for next 6 weeks but I know he will do what he can manage. These hard times do make you aware of the benefits of having a partner. A thing to be grateful for. Talking over problems with him is not an option as he becomes very stressed and shaky and asks me to not mention any stressors.

Back to court soon which is a huge stress on us all but I am feeling grateful that the medication is helping me get some much needed sleep now.

I am keeping to the essential activities and avoiding most socializing to manage my anxiety. Just hope there are some better days soon.

Lumlo

[Rabbit33]

Hi Lumlo,
It's good to hear you're in a much more positive place. Your circumstances have been extremely difficult.
Sorry for the delay in response, it was my birthday yesterday so had been a bit busy the past couple of days.
I hope you're doing well and i wish your partner a fast recovery. Please let me know how court goes. I will be thinking of you and sending positive energy your way. 🙂

[Lumlo]

Hi Rabbit33

Was doing ok but had another panic attack today. Son wont talk to lawyer and now has not got one. Court tomorow and his only option is to represent himself with his mental health issues its a nighmare. I been on phone trying to get representation for him but the one who will go to court with him he wont talk to. Now I am just so anxious about what will happen and nothing else I can do. He is at least agreeing to go with us tomorrow. I just feel shaky and overwhelmed I cant see things going well. I been told no legal aid tomorow and freaking out what to do next.

Life seems to just get worse by the day. Im doing deep breathing but not coping at all.

[Rabbit33]

Will the lawyer that he refuses to talk to, still represent him without him talking to him first? Maybe you can speak with them and give the gist of what's going on.. At least it's a starting point. Otherwise, maybe they'll adjourn the trial due to circumstances. Which isn't really fair on you, i think the sooner it is over and done with, the better it will be for you and your health.

You may just have to ride it out and see what happens. Try and remain calm. I'm assuming by your comment 'coming with us tomorrow' that means your partner is coming in support also? If so, that is great!

You'll be okay! 🙂

[Lumlo]

Hi Rabbit33

Thanks for reply. No I have already spoken to the lawyer and he now wont represent him as he would not talk with him today regarding the case even on the phone. He knows the case we have used him previously. No there is not anyone to represent him. When I said he.ll go meant my son . Partners been supeonaed so has to go. I don.t know what I can do . Really there is nothing but take him to court and hope its ajurned and next time he does agree to get legal representation. Hes just not with it. My health is deteriorating as the stress is just too much. I am feeling so sick now and very anxious. Lumlo